Black Cobra (2012)

 

Black Cobra (2012)- * *1\2

Directed by: Scott Donovan 

Starring: T.J. Storm, Michael Chinyamurindi, Jeff Wolfe, Uri Mafate, and Cary Tagawa 

Sizwe Biko (Storm) is just trying to live his South African life in South Africa, when, under the apartheid government, his father Sipho Biko (Chinyamurindi) is imprisoned. Sizwe makes it his mission to free his father, which may seem like a daunting task, but he has some aces up his sleeve. One, he's a master Martial Artist, seemingly taught by his now locked-up dad, Two, he has a cache of diamonds that he can sell in order to bribe the corrupt prison guards into letting his father out, and Three, he also has some American connections to offload the diamonds quickly for cash. So Sizwe heads to Hollywood, where he meets up with some old buddies.




When his diamond-fencing contact, a sleazy producer named Nicholas Dean (Wolfe) betrays Sizwe and his friends, things go bad. Quickly bad. Now the head of the local Yakuza, Goro Tanaka (Tagawa), the local law enforcement, and seemingly everyone else is on Sizwe's tail. To make matters worse, his wife is coming to L.A. to check up on him. Will our hero be able to illegally sell his illegal diamonds? Well, he's doing it for a good reason, and he IS the Black Cobra, after all...


Not to be confused with the classic Fred Williamson series of films, this particular Black Cobra has nothing whatsoever to do with The Hammer. You'd think the makers of quote-unquote "Urban" films would have been familiar with the fact that a Black Cobra already existed. It's hard not to think of Fred, who will always be first in our hearts, but T.J. Storm performs more than admirably. His fish-out-of-water Sizwe character is a decent person and likable enough. Storm gets to display his Martial Arts moves perhaps better than ever before, because this is his only starring role to date.


To get a sense of what we're dealing with here, some comparison films are: Razor Sharpe (2001), The Ultimate Fight (1998), The Ultimate Game (2001) (also with Storm), or No Rules (2005). If you liked any or all of those - i.e. low-budget fight-em-up flicks of faltering fortunes, you will no doubt like Black Cobra as well. However, unlike those aforementioned outings, Black Cobra could reasonably be described as a "Homie Movie". Interestingly, despite the filmmakers' budgetary limitations, they concocted a stew of different genres here: Heist Films, Homie Movies, Martial Arts, Gangster Films, Fish-Out-Of Water dramas, Foreign (African and Japanese languages are spoken at times), and even dashes of Romance and Comedy come into play. One of the group of Sizwe's pals is named Mpho (Mafate). Because that's not a name we are used to hearing, combined with perhaps some audio issues, characters with accents, or just not the greatest enunciation, it sounds like they're calling him "Info" or "Nympho". I guess it's just all part of the crazy fun.


The whole first section of the film (all the parts before Sizwe gets to Hollywood) is edited with these quick fade-outs and flashes that make it all seem like one big trailer. We were worried this was going to last for the entire film, but luckily it doesn't. Pretty soon, fighting characters are yelling, yelling characters are fighting, or characters are shooting guns and yelling.


We're not exactly sure how you would ever see this movie - it's not currently streaming anywhere but it did get an under-the-radar DVD release from Lionsgate - but if you ever do come across it, just remember this: It's Sizwe or the highway.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Great Challenge (2004)

The Great Challenge (2004)- *1\2

Directed by: Julien Seri

Starring: Williams Belle, Chau Belle Dinh, and Malik Dourif













A group of multi-racial pals from France love nothing more than to Parkour it up on the local buildings and walkways.  They’ve become so accomplished at what they do, they decide to open a gym in Bangkok to teach the local, underprivileged children how to Parkour. However, they unwittingly open their gym on the turf of the Japanese Yakuza, who are making inroads into Thailand. Henceforth, the ultimate confrontation begins to bubble up to the surface: who will win, the humble Parkour-ers or the nasty gangster baddies? Dare you find out?

Here’s what’s good about The Great Challenge: there are a lot of extremely impressive physical feats, and the stuntwork and action scenes must have taken a lot of time and work to execute. We truly appreciate that. But here’s the problem: there is no plot to speak of, and there is zero character development. So, yes, what these Parkour people do is quite extraordinary, but without decent storytelling, it’s hard, if not downright impossible, to care about their plight. Consequently, you “check out” and you stop caring. So as much as we wanted to care about this band of buff ragamuffins (or ragabuffins, to use the vernacular), this movie made it really hard for us to get invested.

We think we see what was going on here - make a PG-13-rated movie for the younger, Mountain Dew-drinking set that leverages the current trend of Parkour to get adolescent eyeballs on the screen. One of the main characters even strongly resembles Tony Hawk. While that may not have seemed like such a terrible plan, if The Great Challenge only had characterization, and was darker, grittier, and was rated R, we might have something. 

As it stands, it’s “in one eye and out the other”, a forgettable exercise that contains a lot of jumping and CGI sequences, but fails to deliver the serious-minded, bone-crunching blows that hardcore action fans have come to expect. The final brawl is a definite movie highlight, but it should have been that way from the jump (no pun intended). The movie shouldn’t have saved its capital with the audience until the very end. By then it’s too little too late.

In the “mildly amusing” department, the little Thai street urchins have cast-off clothing from English-speaking countries that say “no fly zone”, “crabby” and one has a colorful Street Fighter shirt. It’s doubtful they know what their own clothing says. But the kids do get their own training sequence, so that’s not out of keeping with classic action movies. But does it pay off? Plus, the baddies have these ridiculous bunched-up blankets on their heads that don’t exactly inspire fear. The movie may be fast-paced, but where is it going?

After seeing the same year’s District B13 (2004), there’s almost no need for The Great Challenge. So despite the hardworking stunt performances, we can’t really recommend this.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Hidden Agenda (2001)

Hidden Agenda (2001)-* *

Directed by: Marc S. Grenier

Starring: Dolph Lundgren and Maxim Roy











Dolph plays ex-FBI agent Jason Price, a man who runs some kind of witness protection program. When a ruthless assassin called “The Cleaner” is bumping off supposedly protected people, Price must slowly unravel a complex series of lies, deceits, betrayals and double-crossings.

What happened with this film is - it’s mid-period Dolph and got lost in the video store shuffle. It’s in some kind of nether world between his classic 80’s and even 90’s outings and his current renaissance. It’s hard to imagine someone in ‘01, while perusing their local video store, not just giving the cover a cursory glance and then moving on. But we can see why Dolph took the role. It’s different. He probably yearns to play reasonably non-meathead-y roles like this. In Hidden Agenda, he’s smart, he’s good with computers, and in his cover as a suave restauranteur, we see his classy side. We applaud this change of pace, but that’s not enough to make the movie GOOD, unfortunately.

Despite the film’s strengths, when the film begins, the audience is treated to a jumble of names and situations, as if the filmmakers assume we already know what’s going on. So after some more muddled plot developments and frustrating computer gobbledygook, the movie is halfway over and we’re not hooked in and involved with the plot. Even Dolph seems bored a lot of the time. Add to that some confusing and characterless “intrigue” and the end product is what best can be described as an arrested development in the Dolph canon. Yes, there are some nice changes of pace, but at what cost?

Plus there are some annoying editing tricks and techno music during the scant fight scenes. The problem is, this film doesn’t EARN the tricks. It seems like a cover-up for a lack of something. And therein lies the crux of the matter: The filmmakers should have cut a lot of the fat and talkiness and stripped down the film to a race-against-time battle between Price and The Cleaner. Assuming it was done correctly, this would have given the film the turbocharge it needed to be successful. Sadly, instead, with the technology on display (Icarus and Daedalus?) it’s like watching a dramatization of an episode of “90’s Tech” on the History Channel.

We see what the filmmakers were trying to do...had this film come out in the theater it would have starred Matt Damon (doubtlessly wearing glasses) and been a slick Hollywood thriller like Paycheck (2003) or Hackers (1995). So imagine that formula applied to a Canada-shot DTV product with Dolph Lundgren and there you have it.

In the case of Hidden Agenda, different does not necessarily mean better for Dolph fans.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Perfect Neighbor (2005)

The Perfect Neighbor (2005)-* *

Directed by: Douglas Jackson

Starring: Barbara Niven and Perry King













The Perfect Neighbor is another knockoff of Fatal Attraction (1987). It's not a bad movie, but it's so predictable.

Donna Germaine (Niven) is middle-aged and lonely. Her last husband leaves her. She gets into a rage about that and kills him. After that, she leaves and moves into a small town. There she meets William Costigan (King) and falls in love with him. William is married, but that doesn't stop Donna from taking over his life.



This is a movie, you watch on the Lifetime Movie Network when you're bored as opposed to watching LMN when you're excited. When are these Fatal Attraction ripoffs going to stop? There are hundreds of them. For a movie like this to succeed, it needs to be original. The acting, directing, and writing are okay, but that's not enough to warrant a look.

Comeuppance review by: Ty

Strike Force (2003)

Strike Force (2003)-* * *

AKA: The Librarians

Directed by: Mike Kirton

Starring: William Forsythe, Burt Reynolds, Erika Eleniak, Christopher Atkins, Ed Lauter, Andrew Divoff, Daniel Bernhardt, Mark Foley, and Matthias Hues









Strike Force or "The Librarians" is a stupid, fun action movie that doesn't take itself too seriously.

William Forsythe stars as Simon, who is looking for a missing daughter of a wealthy client. He meets up with Sandi (Eleniak) who is also looking for someone-her sister. But there are evil bad guys afoot. The most evil of them all is Marcos Canarious (Divoff). Marcos likes to kill people.



So now, Simon and Sandi have to team up to bring down the villains. The whole cast is great, with Divoff stealing the movie. There are also cameos by Ed Lauter, Burt Reynolds, and esteemed star of stage and screen, Mark Foley (actually disgraced politician Mark Foley in the greatest cameo since Gloria Allred lit up the screen in On The Edge).  If you are looking for a silly action film, watch this and have a good time.




Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Sub Zero (2005)

Sub Zero (2005)-* * *

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Costas Mandylor, Linden Ashby and Nia Peeples











Sub Zero is very enjoyable. It's a silly DTV spin on Cliffhanger (1993). The plot is about six climbers who have to deactivate a bomb on a mountain. The bomb looks like a Rubik's cube. If it goes off it will destroy the world.

You don't watch a Jim Wynorski movie (the alias this time is Jay Andrews) and expect a masterpiece.

The acting is above-average for this type of film, the performances that stand out are Linden Ashby and Nia Peeples. The cast looks like they are having fun with the script. The special effects aren't the greatest, but who cares.

In the end: If you want to laugh and be entertained, you can't go wrong with Sub Zero.




Comeuppance review by: Ty

Premonition (2004)

Premonition (2004)-* *1\2

AKA: The Psychic

Directed by: Jonas Quastel

Starring: Casper Van Dien and Catherine Oxenberg









 

Premonition or "The Psychic" is a decent thriller. It's basically a variation on The Dead Zone (1983). Instead of Walken it's Casper Van Dien.

Van Dien plays Jack Barnes, a cop who gets killed in the line of duty. He's brought back to life and now he see visions of disasters. These visions somehow connect to a terrorist group.

Casper puts in a good performance. Everybody else is mediocre. The action scenes are well-filmed, but the special effects are cheesy. The helicopters and explosion at the end of the film looked too fake.

In the end: It's definitely not a bad film, if you watch it with low expectations.

Comeuppance review by: Ty

Blood Trail (1997)

Blood Trail (1997)-*1\2

Directed by: Barry Tubb

Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Barry Tubb, Raoul Trujillo, R.J. Preston













Blood Trail has a good idea and some decent actors but it just doesn't come together. The plot is about some Indians and cowboys that try to find out about an ancient burial ground.

It's nice that Lion's Gate helps this movie out with a DVD release after 8 years but it wasn't worth it. It also falls into the hindering trap of "sped up motion". That means when any sort of violence or action occurs on screen, the film is "sped up" in the editing room for some unknown reason. This gives the film an air of ridiculousness. The DVD cover and the plot description make it look exciting, so don't be tricked by Lionsgate's slick marketing.

Comeuppance review by: Ty

Ginostra (2002)

Ginostra (2002) -*1\2

Directed By: Manuel Pradal

Starring: Harvey Keitel, Andie MacDowell, Harry Dean Stanton, and Asia Argento









Ginostra is a huge mess.

 FBI Agent Matt Benson (Keitel) travels to Italy to help a young boy from the mobsters that killed his family run by Del Piero (Stanton). There's also weird nuns (One of them played by Argento) involved with a volcano.....



From the opening scene the movie has already overstayed it's welcome. The movie is just abrupt and edited terribly. Scenes just start\end with no rhythm. Andie MacDowell has nothing to do, and Argento even less, even with the 2-hour plus running time. The best scene in the movie is the confrontation between Keitel and Stanton. The oddest part of the movie is: (Get ready...) One of the mobsters puts a bomb in a sheep and it blows up. I'm not kidding. 

No wonder this movie has been on the shelf for over 5 years. It deserved it. Maybe it should've stayed there longer after some editing.

It's only worth sitting though if you're a Keitel completist. Anybody else stay away. Don't be fooled by the quality cast.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Lil' Pimp (2005)

Lil' Pimp (2005)- * *1\2

Directed By: Mark Brooks and Peter Gilstrap

Starring: Bernie Mac, Jennifer Tilly, David Spade, Danny Bonaduce, Rudy Ray Moore and William Shatner









Lil' Pimp was fairly funny.

 It's about a little white kid who decides to live with the ho's and pimps. He wants to become a pimp after seeing their lifestyle.


There's also the sub-plot of corrupt mayor Tony Gold (Voiced by William Shatner) who wants to control the prostitution racket. There are some laughs here. Most of them come from Gold's idiot police henchmen. Some jokes do fall flat. The character of Weathers (Voiced by Ludacris) is little grating. Jennifer Tilly doesn't do anything to advance the plot as Lil' Pimp's teacher. Besides that, everything else is decent. It's worth a look.




Comeuppance Review by: Ty

The Mangler Reborn (2005)

The Mangler Reborn (2005) -* * *

Directed By:Matt Cunningham and Erik Gardner

Starring: Reggie Bannister, Aimee Brooks, and Weston Blakesley










The Mangler Reborn is a million times better than the atrocious and unfortunate The Mangler 2 (2002).

The plot: Hadley  (Blakesley) is a repairman. He finds pieces of the mangler machine and puts it together. He grows obsessed about it and starts going on a killing spree to feed the machine. His latest victim Jaime (Brooks) is trapped in his house. Can she escape before she's another body on the chopping block?



The pacing is slow,but the acting is pretty good. Reggie Bannister makes an appearance as Rick the house robber. In his limited screen time he makes you feel for his character. You can also see that the directors really put their heart into the film.

In the end: The movie is scary, and there's some heavy gore scenes. It's worth seeing at least once.



Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Rottweiler (2004)

Rottweiler (2004) -* * *

Directed By: Brian Yunza

Starring: William Miller and Irene Montala









Rottweiler is a surprisingly decent horror movie. William Miller plays Dante. He wants to have a better life with his girlfriend. They go on an illegal immigrant boat, but they are stopped by an evil warden and his killer rottweiler. One year goes by and Dante's girlfriend is missing and he's on the run from the rottweiler. If you are a gorehound, you will enjoy this movie. The storyline is odd, yet fun and the acting is above average.



The main problem is the editing. It could have been cut down a little because the third act lags a bit.

Besides that, Rottweiler is a movie you watch when you have nothing else to do. Even if you don't like killer dog films (why would you not like them?) Rottweiler is still an entertaining movie.




Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Chaos (2005)

Chaos (2005) -* * *

Directed By: Tony Giglio

Starring: Jason Statham, Ryan Phillippe, Henry Czerny, and Wesley Snipes











Chaos is an entertaining, but cliched thriller.

Quentin Conners (Statham) is a cop who gets fired after a hostage situation goes bad. He gets reinstated with a new partner (Phillippe) after a bank robber named Lorenz (Snipes) takes over downtown. But something about the robbery isn't right when none of the money is taken...can Connors and his partner figure out the truth?



This movie was made before Inside Man (2006) but it was on the shelf for 3 years. I guess it's hard to market after the success of that movie. It does have its similarities, but overall the movie is different. Statham, Phillippe, and Snipes all put in good performances. Henry Czerny has the usual underwritten role as the Chief.

The movie does have some good action in the middle with a well-shot motorcycle chase and gunfight between Lorenz and Conners. The last interrogation scene with Phillippe is full of fun overacting. The climax\ending is VERY similar to Inside Man which almost ruins the movie.

Hopefully Chaos will get a release because it shouldn't stay on the shelf forever.





Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Creep (2004)

Creep (2004) -* * *

Directed By: Christopher Smith

Starring: Franka Potente











Creep is an effective horror film.  Kate (Potente) is on her way to a party when she gets trapped in a London train station. That's not the least of her problems because she has to avoid the bloodthirsty monster lurking within.




Creep works because of its limited, but scary, location. It also has atmosphere to burn. The movie is drenched in dark, and the only light is outside the tunnel. Potente does an good job as well. The movie has more suspense than gore in the first act, but when last act comes rolling around the blood starts to fly! I like that the director keeps the monster under wraps until the ending.

Creep is a well-made horror film that's definitely worth watching.





Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Drop Dead Sexy (2005)

Drop Dead Sexy (2005) -* * *

Directed By: Michael Philip

Starring: Jason Lee, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Brad Dourif, Melissa Keller,  and Crispin Glover








Drop Dead Sexy is a pretty funny, but dark comedy. The plot: Frank and Eddie (Lee and Glover) are friends who are looking for a big score. When Frank is sent to deliver cigarettes to the evil Spider (Pruitt Taylor Vince), their truck explodes. But the plot thickens when Spider wanted them to die. Frank needs to get money fast, so when he sees that a rich young woman named Crystal (Melissa Keller) died, Frank and Eddie decide to dig up the body and blackmail the husband. They realize her death isn't all what it seems. Eddie also begins to fall in love with Crystal...


Jason Lee and Crispin Glover have good chemistry together. They make most of the jokes work. The movie does get into some themes with necrophilia, which could turn some people off. Vince plays a scary gangster, Brad Dourif (The voice of Chucky) makes a weird cameo appearance as a way too interested morgue attendant. The movie is set basically around a strip club, so there's lots of gratuitous nudity. (That's not a bad thing...)

This is the time of year when Lionsgate puts a movie out that's more normal. As opposed to shot-on- digital junk like Heebie Jeebies (2005). See also Creep (2004).

Overall, Drop Dead Sexy is worth seeing for the actors and somewhat unusual plot.


Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Truth Be Told (2002)

Truth Be Told (2002) -*1\2

Directed By: Jeff Byrd

Starring: Blair Underwood, Craig Sheffer, and Regina King













Truth Be Told is a boring cop thriller that's not very thrilling. Cops Stratten and Harris (Sheffer and Underwood) are corrupt cops after some dirty money. There's a doublecross involving Rayne (King) too.

The problem is that nothing happens in this movie. The movie stares back at you with a blank expression. If you look at the cover, it looks like an exciting action thriller. The Lionsgate company always practices the "art of the deceptive cover". This is no exception. 

There is no action, just talking. Craig Sheffer and Blair Underwood are okay, but King doesn't have anything to work with. Truth Be Told was also known as: "Final Breakdown" and "Turnaround". If the movie can't decide on a title, that usually means the movie can't decide on a tone or genre.

The "Truth" is: "Turnaround" when you see this, and you won't regret it.
Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Ghetto Dawg 2: Out Of The Pits (2005)

 Ghetto Dawg 2 (2005) -* * *

Directed By: Jeff Crook and Josh Crook

Starring: Paris Campbell,  Daniel Outlaw, Lou Torres, and J-Hood















Ghetto Dawg 2 is surprisingly just as good as the first one.  This time, Dante (Outlaw) has to fight for his life when his pitbulls lose in an illegal fight. A hitman with a cold heart of gold, if that makes any sense, named Jojo (Campbell) helps him, and it turns ugly for all involved.



Paris Campbell as Jojo is great, and reason alone to see this. Outlaw also puts in a decent performance. The writing and directing are top-notch for a DTV effort, so this was a surprise. The dogfights are brutal and so are the killings by Jojo, and it was cool to see this intact and not cut up like a music video. Don't roll your eyes at this one. It's actually worth seeing.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Cube Zero (2005)

Cube Zero (2005) -* * *

Directed By: Ernie Barbarash

Starring: Michael Riley, Zachary Bennett, and Stephanie Moore










Cube Zero is a definite step up from the other sequel Cube 2: Hypercube (2002) Even though it's directed by the same guy.

This time the plot is different: who's behind the Cube? You get to meet Eric (Bennett) who works the mechanics of the Cube. He begins to get infatuated by one of the Cube captives named Cassandra (Moore). He wants to help her, so he goes into the dangerous cube to find her.




The traps and gore in this movie are really cool. The acid spray garbage chute is the best trap. The actors are mediocre, but they get the job done. You do care about most of the characters, and the twist at the end connecting Cube Zero to the first one is very original.

Cube Zero is surprisingly good, considering the sequel and recent output by Lionsgate.


Comeuppance Review by: Ty