Falcon Down (2001)

 

Falcon Down (2001)- * *1\2

Directed by: Phillip J. Roth

Starring: Dale Midkiff, Mark Kiely, Jennifer Rubin, Judd Nelson, Cliff Robertson, William Zabka, and William Shatner 

Captain Hank Thomas (Midkiff) is a former Air Force pilot who now works with his father Buzz (Robertson) at a small, family-run airplane hangar. Thomas's quiet life is disrupted when the mysterious Harold Peters (Nelson) and Sharon Williams (Rubin) approach him. They tell him they need his expert flying skills so they can steal the Falcon, a high-tech plane. Once Major Robert Carson (Shatner) becomes involved, things get really serious.


Now roped into a crazy plan with a bunch of mercenary-types, such as Rat (Kiely), Thomas has no choice but to fly the Falcon and land it on a sheet of ice, so it can eventually be sold to the Chinese government for ten billion dollars. As if all that wasn't enough, apparently there's a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top involving Area 51 and government a cover-up (what else is new?) - will Thomas live to eat beef jerky with his stepdaughter Alisia (Roth) again? Or will the FALCON go DOWN?

Falcon Down stars William Shatner, who you may remember from Land of the Free (1998) and some other stuff that we can't quite remember right now. Thankfully, he's at his William Shatneriest here in Falcon Down, as he delivers just about every line in that herky-jerky style we all know and love. Impressively, he manages to do that even if he's only saying one word. At the important scene when he and the other members of "The Company" are trying to intimidate Midkiff into signing on to their mission, Shatner stands next to a lamp so he's in very dramatic lighting. That was a movie highlight.

In that hotel room scene, it was quite something to see Judd Nelson, William Shatner, Jennifer Rubin, and Dale Midkiff all together in one small room. Have any of them given interviews as to what it was like to be there? Oh, to be a fly on the wall.

While Dale Midkiff did his best, if he wasn't available, the filmmakers could have gotten Randall Batinkoff. And let's not forget William Zabka is on board here too. We would have liked more Zabka. More Zabka is always better than less Zabka. Both he and Jennifer Rubin shoot their handguns sideways, "gangsta" style, which was funny. When they did that, the movie perked up.


Unfortunately, there are long stretches of the movie with no Shatner. Those gaps are filled with stupid moments, dumb dialogue, boring plane sloggery, and a whole lot of nothin'. When Shatner eventually returns, he's on a flight deck of some sort with an Asian man who looks a lot like Sulu. Coincidence?


It's not all bad, however. Nelson does his best, or at least somewhere close to his best, there's an amusing warehouse shootout involving the Rat character, and we get a rare double We Got Company. Usually it's said once by one character. Here it's said twice in quick succession by two characters.


What Falcon Down should have done is concentrate more on the Area 51/Conspiracy angle than it does. It starts and ends with these "videotaped" segments that seem straight out of a show like Unsealed: Alien Files or Unsealed: Conspiracy Files. While those shows are trying to get the truth out there, it's not their fault they're on a low budget. But those more intriguing elements are not really expounded upon or capitalized upon. That's a shame, because an X-Files-esque knockoff starring Shatner, Judd Nelson, Cliff Robertson, and William Zabka is a really cool idea. But that's more or less brushed aside, sadly.


Falcon Down is a telefilm produced by City Heat Productions, a company associated with Blockbuster Video, so you can be assured that multiple copies were always available at your local branch. Another production company was the Unified Film Organization, or UFO. Coincidence?


Despite its strong cast and a smidgen of decent ideas, Falcon Down is filled with too much mush to be really exciting or interesting. It was a close call, though. In the end, it's really more of a flyover in all of our lives.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

High Voltage (1997)

High Voltage (1997)- * *1\2

Directed by: Isaac Florentine

Starring: Antonio Sabato Jr., Amy Smart, William Zabka, Lochlan Munro, James Lew, George Cheung, Antonio Sabato Sr., Mike Mains, and Shannon Lee

Johnny (Sabato Jr.), Larry (Munro), Molly (Smart), and Sam (Mains) are a bank-robbing gang and they sure do love their guns. Their luck runs out when a particular bank that they rob is a front for the Vietnamese mafia. Now Victor Phan (Cheung) and Harry (Lew), among many other goons, are after them. So is a biker named Bulldog (Zabka). Of course his name is Bulldog. The final showdown occurs at a run-down hotel managed by Carlo (Sabato Sr.) – who will come out on top in this gang war?



In 1998, we were all living in a post-Tarantino, post-John Woo world. Director Isaac Florentine seemingly decided he should try his hand at a mélange of the two directors’ styles, but complete with his own trademark “whoosh” sound effects. Thanks to fight choreographer Koichi Sakamoto and Florentine himself, the fight scenes are well-done and fun to watch. Hence, High Voltage shouldn’t be classified as a Tarantino slog, necessarily, but in the non-action scenes, it gets fairly close.



Yes, there is a lot of inconsequential, post-dubbed dialogue in between the action scenes that viewers probably won’t really care about. But then a, frankly, High Voltage action scene will arrive and things perk up a lot. Thrill’s Antonio Sabato Jr. not only flies sideways while shooting two pistols, he flies frontwards while shooting two pistols as well. There’s plenty of top-notch stuntwork going on and the action setpieces are very enjoyable.



Thankfully, William Zabka screams while shooting a machine gun. The movie overall could have used more Zabka. He sports a very 90’s “grunge” look throughout the film, as it was the 90’s after all (though if memory serves, grunge was fairly well out the window by ’98. That didn’t preclude the inclusion of a song called “Trashgrunge” on the soundtrack, however). 

Also helping things are the presences of fan favorites James Lew, George Cheung, and an uncredited Donald Gibb as a bartender. It was also nice to see Antonio Sabato Sr. join the fray. Interestingly, Amy Smart, as you probably well know, was in Crank: High Voltage (2009). Surely this must mark one of the few, if only, times an actress appeared in an action movie, then, over ten years later, was in another film with the same title (although, granted, it’s a subtitle in the latter case). Still, worthy to point out, I think. 

Featuring a “greatest hits” recap before the credits, not during them as certain Jackie Chan films do, High Voltage has its flaws – pretty much the plot and dialogue department – but makes up for it in the action department. That being said, it was probably one of the best things coming out on video store shelves at the time – the late 90’s/early 2000’s being a notoriously fallow time for quality DTV product. For the action scenes, we say give High Voltage a watch.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Power Within (1995)

The Power Within (1995)-* * *

Directed by: Art Camacho

Starring: Ted Jan Roberts, William Zabka, John O'Hurley, Gerald Okamura, P.J. Soles, and a Special Appearance by Don "The Dragon" Wilson










In this entertaining PM effort, Ted Jan Roberts, or, "TJ" as we like to call him, plays Stan Dryer, a shy 16-year-old kid who wants nothing more than to go to the prom with Sandy, but is too meek to ask. When an old man, Master Yung (Okamura), gives him half of a powerful ring that gives him confidence and excellent martial arts ability, his life changes for the better. The only problem is, the other half of the ring belongs to the dastardly Raymond Vonn (Zabka). Vonn desperately wants the other half of the ring so he can control the world. Will Stan defeat Vonn and make it to the prom? Find out today!

TJ has formidable martial arts ability. He does impressive kicks and can knock out many baddies at once. Before Stan gets the Power Within, he is failing all his classes in school. After he gets it, he begins to ace his classes and is quite knowledgeable about the cold war, easily discussing "Gorby" with style and aplomb. At the prom, in the vein of Corey Feldman, with whom he co-starred in A Dangerous Place (1995), Stan strikes a Michael Jackson-like pose. Maybe The Power Within isn't ALL good.

 Zabka as Vonn puts in a fun, over-the-top performance. He adds a lot of life and energy. He wears a blue kimono numerous times and chops cinderblocks with his hands. He has some memorable quotes, such as "If you keep pestering me, I'll send for your soul!", "Obey me or die!", and the strangely homoerotic "Remember me, Stan? The man of your dreams!" (Stan has weird dreams that feature Vonn, usually laughing maniacally). Also, one of Vonn's henchmen resembles Gene Simmons sans makeup. That is pretty intimidating.

Stan's brother Deke is the obnoxious little brat who likes to play his Game Boy and yell "Yeah!" He also admonishes his brother that he's "missing Magic Kid!" For those who don't know, Magic Kid (1993) and Magic Kid II (1994) both feature Ted Jan Roberts. How meta.

There is an inexplicable cameo by Don "The Dragon" Wilson. He is introduced, as himself, to a martial arts class. He gives Stan some life lessons. It's always nice to see the fan favorite, even if there is basically no reason to. He must have been on break from filming the PM vehicle CyberTracker (1994).

In all, The Power Within is a fun action/martial arts romp meant for teens. If you can find it, see it!

Comeuppance review by: Ty and Brett

Shootfighter II (1995)

Shootfighter II (1995)-* * *

Directed By: Paul Ziller

Starring: Bolo Yeung, Brett Baxter Clark,  William “Billy” Zabka, Chase Randolf, and Michael Bernardo











Shootfighter II is just as good as the first one.

Shingo and the gang are back for more of the World’s Deadliest Sport (Which is Shootfighting, duh).

When the movie opens, we see some familiar pants. You’ve heard of “Blockbuster Pants”, now there are Shootfighting pants. As you remember from the first movie, they are black sweatpants with big pink patches.
The man wearing the pants is running from the new shootfighting ringleader in Florida, Lance. He is an ambitious and deadly man.

Cut to a James Brolin doppelganger, a cop named Rawlins (Randolf) asking the question “Do you know anything about a shootfighting ring in Miami?” to Nick, Ruben and Shingo. Rawlins wants to go undercover and bust the new shootfighting ring because his son died in it. Rawlins also recruits a dock workin’ badass named Shark (Clark) who resembles a lost Swayze brother. An uneasy alliance is forged between Nick, Ruben, and Shark.

Nowhere is this tension better exemplified than in the scene where Ruben notices Shark’s tattoo. Ruben glibly notes that it looks "Like a tuna fish to me." Whereupon Shark delivers the immortal line (groan) “It’s a shark, buttwipe” (groan again). Also groan-worthy is Shark inexplicably nicknaming Ruben “Waterboy” for the rest of the movie.

The new gang enters Lance’s strongman competition where it eventually leads to an underground shootfighting match. They fight baddies such as a black guy who looks like “Dee Jay” from the then-current game “Street Fighter II”, a guy who eats raw meat, and Sargon, Anatoli, Khan, and Grunner.



The audience for “The best entertainment on the planet!” consists of 7 or 8 bloodthirsty rowdy jackasses, one of whom closely resembles Singer-Songwriter-Pianist Randy Newman. Who knew?

There is a subplot involving Ruben and some British waitress who works for Lance. She has a very nice apartment for a single woman on a shootfighting waitress salary. They go to a party where one song continuously plays: “Take me to your house”, and we debated whether the lyrics were "Take me to your high house" or "take me to your high horse". Only the viewer can decide...either way it is catchy!

In the end, Lance kidnaps Shingo, a terrible secret is revealed and Rawlins joins the fray in the shootfighteriffic climax. Will Lance make his casino? Will his assistant “Joseph Stalin” get his comeuppance? Will Shingo fight?

Find out the answers to these questions and much, much, MUCH more in this rousing sequel where the action is as bone-crunching as the dialogue is flat. It caps off with an awesome freeze frame and thus concludes this Bolotastic sequel for the ages!


Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett

Shootfighter (1992)

Shootfighter (1992)-* * *1\2

Directed By: Patrick Allen

Starring: Bolo Yeung, Michael Bernardo, William Zabka, John Barrett, Martin Kove, and Edward Albert






"You-disgraced-the-art-of-shoot-fighting."






This opening quote sets the tone for this lively beat-em-up starring the ever-lovable Bolo Yeung as Shingo.

The plot revolves around two buddies named Ruben and Nick played by Zabka and Bernardo respectively. Yeung plays their mentor. There is the prerequisite montage where he teaches them to "shootfight" and also they play basketball with young black children and Shingo smiles in an oddly fatherly way. Before the shootfighting tournament, there is a fight in a grocery store a la Cobra (1986) where Bolo shows off both his fighting and his broken English skills.

You may remember Zabka as Johnny from The Karate Kid (1984) where he infamously swept his leg at Macchio. Apparently he couldn't get enough karate-chopping action, so he hooked up with director Patrick Allen to give birth to Allen's one and only cinematic baby.



Ruben and Nick get embroiled in an underground "shootfighting" ring. They eventually have to shootfight each other...to the death, but not before battling an array of wacky baddies in the ring, such as "Boa", who acts like a snake (including the hisses) and Mongoose, who adopts a mongoose fighting style, whatever that means. Some fights have a surprising amount of gore (i.e. limbs and fingers being broken off in a bloody mess), and this provides unintentional laughter and it sustains the viewer's interest until the end.






Martin Kove plays the evil mastermind, inexplicably named "Mr. Lee", who is behind all the shootfighting, and in his villainous rage, slices a pineapple with a samurai sword.

What is "shootfighting" you ask? Well, that question is never quite answered satisfactorily, but after doing some research we were able to determine (by reading the back of the VHS box) that it is a "forbidden sport so brutal it's banned from the civilized world".

Prepare to get uncivilized with this classic.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett