President's Target (1989)

 

President's Target (1989)- * * *

Directed by: Yvan Chiffe

Starring: John Coleman, Martin Kove, Antonio Banha, and Bo Hopkins

An on-screen title card informs us that we're "Somewhere In Latin America". At a high-powered meeting of government officials, they all vow to work together to stop the worldwide spread of drugs. All seems to be going well, until a masked band of baddies storms into the place and shoots everyone in sight. But they didn't count on one thing...Peter Caine (Coleman). After finding out that he's "The best operator the CIA has" - and that his code name is Stalker - Caine proceeds to find out who was responsible for the massacre, and get revenge, Peter Caine-style. But not before he's nursed back to health after the massacre by a kindly old incomprehensible fisherman, and has what are presumably a handful of Vietnam flashbacks along the way. Here for the ride are Sam Nicholson (Kove) and Marty Rogers (Hopkins), but who is the ultimate bad guy at the top? Could it be, in true Simpsons fashion, Mendoza (Banha)? And who exactly is the PRESIDENT'S TARGET in all this?


If we've established anything by doing this website over lo these many years, it's these two truths: that 1989 was a high water mark year for movies on VHS appearing on video store shelves, and that El Presidente titles (well, they're not always slogs) are chief among them. If you happened to enjoy such films as One Man Out (1989), Merchants of War (1989), Overthrow (1987), SAS San Salvador (1982), Hour of the Assassin (1987), or To Die Standing (1991), to name but a few, you will likely also enjoy President's Target. It just may be your favorite of the bunch, because it features two things those films don't: a 79-minute running time, and John Coleman.



Coleman himself is a National Treasure, and should have been in WAY more action movies. Depending on what light he's in, the rock-faced Coleman may resemble Ted Danson, Erik Estrada, Lou Ferrigno, or perhaps Ben Affleck or George Clooney. His face is nothing if not a prism that may take on many shades, colors, and moods. He's essentially a human combination of two 70's fads: the mood ring and the pet rock. Certainly he could be described as a lovable meathead, and the icing on the cake is his Ryan O'Neal-esque acting style. What's not to love about the guy?



But, perhaps fearing that the manliness of Coleman wouldn't be enough to carry the full 79 minutes, Coleman is backed up by genre stalwarts Bo Hopkins and Martin Kove. It was nice that they were here. The presence of both guys is always appreciated. Hopkins actually utters the words "El Presidente", so they must have known what they were doing. Director Yvan Chiffre, who may or may not be the Bond villain from Casino Royale, had an impressive career as an actor under his belt, but he did direct three movies. This is one of them. Thankfully, it stars John Coleman.



The vibe of President's Target is certainly a bit "off", which was hugely welcome. El Presidente's can get awfully dull and sloggy because most of the time, they're pretty standard fare. This time around, the weirder vibe, shorter running time, and power-trio of stars work mightily in the movie's favor.


Despite the South American setting, President's Target was filmed in Setubal, Portugal and features some nice locations. It's one of those (as of today) VHS-only wonders that only a trawl through the video store of life can sometimes bring forth. It just may be one of the best El Presidente's we've seen to date.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Devil's Island (1997)

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Devil's Island (1997)- * * *

Directed by: Jon Cassar

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Shannon Tweed, Carl Weathers, Billy Drago, Martin Kove, Trevor Goddard, and Billy Blanks 

While it may be a bit confusing as to which of the two Shadow Warriors telefilms came first, we're reasonably confident that this is the first appearance of the team consisting of Mike McBride (Hulk), Roy Brown (Weathers), Hunter Wiley (Tweed), and Andy Powers (Kove). The follow-up, Shadow Warriors: Assault on Death Mountain (1999), came two years after this one.

In this initial installment of the two-movie series, our heroes are tasked with bringing down the evil drug lord Carlos Gallindo (Drago), and his goons Fraker (Goddard) and Creagan (Blanks). While they're doing that, they have to rescue the kidnapped American Gymnastics team, who is imprisoned in a cage in a room that's slowly filling with water. Will the Shadow Warriors - a team of friendly mercenaries tasked with missions like this one - save the day once again? Or is it the first time? You're gonna have to tune in if you want to find out...

Shadow Warriors: Assault on Devil's Island is very, very similar to the other movie in the series. If you've seen that one, and you happened to enjoy it, you will find more of the same here. For those unfamiliar with these TV films, they are quite lightweight despite the fact that there are fights, guard tower falls, blow-ups and shootings. Somewhere along the way there's a very silly exploding helicopter.

If it was just Carl Weathers and Shannon Tweed in an R-rated film going around and taking out the trash, it would have made all the difference in the world - and, sad but true, it would've been a massive improvement. Sad because the presence of Hulk Hogan as the main character kind of gets in the way. Yes, his hair, facial expressions, high-waisted pants, and line deliveries are absolutely ridiculous, and that does provide some enjoyment. But he should have been more of a background character, like Martin Kove or even Billy Blanks are here.

The fight between Blanks and Hogan is as daffy as everything else on display. Also we should mention that the film opens with Hulk doing some form of yoga on the beach and he's into tarot cards and mysticism. Just like in real life. Blanks went from Balance of Power (1996), where he punched steam, to here, where he punches meat. As we said in our review of the other Shadow Warriors film, thank goodness for Shannon Tweed. The fact that she's here helps a lot. Almost saves things, in fact.

Billy Drago plays - you guessed it - the baddie in his customary manner. His classic head-tilt and slimy manner are here once again. Trevor Goddard is a strong presence as his muscle. Billy Blanks should have had more to do overall.

Because a gymnastics team is kidnapped, it may remind you of Blast (1997). Because of certain plot points involving Billy Drago, it may remind you of Delta Force 2 (1990). Combine that with the fact that this is a telefilm meant to air after episodes of wrestling on TNT, and there you have it.

Concluding with our heroes walking towards the camera in slow motion and looking quite serious, are we to conclude that we should take all this goofiness seriously? That may be one of the great mysteries of life, along with which Shadow Warriors entry is which. Action fans seeking something dark, gritty, and adult are advised to look elsewhere, but if you've got a taste for the silly, and you've got nothing better to watch, there's always the duo of Shadow Warriors films.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Crooked (2006)

Crooked (2006)- * *

Directed by: Art Camacho

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Olivier Gruner, Gary Busey, Fred Williamson, Diana Kauffman, and Martin Kove









When a hooker with a heart of gold named Angel (Kauffman) witnesses a murder, police officers Danny Tyler (The Dragon) and Phil Yordan (Gruner) are put in charge of looking after her so there isn't any gangland retribution before she can testify. Of course, this isn't as simple as it seems, as a perfect storm of police corruption and irate mobsters coalesce around our three heroes. While they're on the run, shootouts and fights ensue. Where do Rouse (Busey) and Jake Lawlor (Kove) stand in all this? And who amongst all of them is CROOKED?

Lone Tiger Effect strikes again with Crooked, a chintzy affair that makes Detonator (2003) look classy. You'd think you couldn't go wrong with Don The Dragon, Fred Williamson, Kove, Busey, and Gruner all together. Well, unfortunately, it appears you can. Fred and Kove have glorified cameos, so you can take them pretty much out of the equation. The material the others had to work with wasn't the best. Low budgets have never been a negative for us, but if that's the case you've got to try just a little bit harder. 

The pacing is off, the dialogue is insipid, and the whole thing has that "stupid" feel. You probably know what we're talking about. Then there are the technical issues, such as poor lighting and sound, which add to the mess. However, maybe it's best that some of the dialogue isn't heard. That can only help the situation. That being said, sometimes it provides some laffs, as there's a scene early on in a police squad room where everyone's voice sounds normal except for Gary Busey's, which sounds like it was recorded separately in a large, echoey warehouse. We wouldn't normally mention it, but it's very, very obvious. And humorous. 

In the scenes where Busey is talking and it sounds like his voice was recorded in the same county, it certainly appears like they let him run wild with his own dialogue. There are a few instances of classic "Buseyisms" on display that only he could come up with. Besides that, Don's lovable woodenness is not only present and accounted for, it almost powers the movie along. Gruner's name in the film, Phil Yordan, must be a nod to the classic Hollywood-era screenwriter. But what would the original Yordan make of what he saw here? While Gruner is obviously trying, Don and Busey come out best in all this.


Yes, there is an exploding helicopter and a (weak) barfight...but we couldn't help but think that if Crooked was a PM movie that came out in 1996, it would have been done right. So why, in 2006, should things be any different? Just learn from the greats of the past. You'd think director Camacho, who worked on so many of those classic 90's productions as a stuntman, would know better. I mean, yes, Point Doom (2000) had Sebastian Bach, and Gangland (2001) had Mario Van Obama, but what does Crooked have? It appears, sadly, that the answer is diminishing returns. 

Crooked is, at best - at best - a one-time watch. And that's being generous. We're glad our favorite stars are working, and we like to see them, even in a lesser production like this. But we couldn't help but be disappointed.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Higher Ground (1988)

Higher Ground (1988)- * * *

Directed by: Robert Day

Starring: John Denver, Richard Masur, Martin Kove, and John Rhys-Davies

Jim Clayton (Denver) is an L.A. FBI agent who isn't quite On The Edge, but he's getting close. So to prevent getting there, he relocates to Jordan, Alaska to start a new life as a bush pilot. While there, he reconnects with his old buddy Rick (Kove) and his wife and son, and pretty soon, all three are flying the friendly skies with Annakin Airlines. But perhaps things aren't as friendly as they first appeared. 

It seems the nefarious McClain (Masur) has an illegal bootlegging operation running, and Rick gets caught in the middle of it all. So now Clayton must go it alone and find out the truth about McClain, the bootleggers, and just why alcohol is illegal in Alaska anyway. Will he fall on his face...or reach HIGHER GROUND?

Schwarzenegger. Stallone. Seagal. Van Damme. Denver. A pantheon of the action gods, I tell ya. To be fair, Higher Ground is a decent enough TV movie from 1988 that was also a pilot for a prospective show. And pilot is indeed the operative word, as Denver and Kove fly all over Alaska (or is it Canada?) in search of those dastardly bootleggers. 

Because it was made for TV - and this was long before the dominance of cable - it's all pretty tame stuff. There's no real violence, no nudity, and no bad language. Despite what you may have hoped for, John Denver does not shoot anyone in the head. He doesn't go on any drinking benders, killing sprees, Punchfighting tournaments, or anything of the sort. Hell, he doesn't even get involved in any car chases. But there are exactly two scenes of Denver-Fu. That's right, he all but shouts "Rocky Mountain Hi-Ya!" as he beats up some dudes. Now that's entertainment. Those scenes should have been longer. Much longer.

So think Airwolf meets Northern Exposure, maybe with a dash of Wings, but without the humor. But I repeat myself. Hey, we kid Wings because we love Wings (or do we?) 

Anyway, John Denver looks like John Ritter meets Don Johnson. He's glasses-less this time around and he takes time out from his transition from FBI man to plane-flying man with a good ol' country singalong. Apropos of (almost) nothing, at a party, Clayton just happens to whip out his acoustic guitar and he plays the song "Alaska and Me" in its entirety. And the rest of the partygoers all know the words. It was a movie highlight for sure.

Denver is backed up with some solid support - Martin Kove as his buddy Rick was a more than welcome addition, and John Rhys-Davies as Lt. Smight, the Scottish-accented policeman on the case was a nice casting choice as well. 

Richard Masur is another underrated character actor and he brought a lot to the role, which would have been much duller in lesser hands. But, as usual, one of the side characters steals the show. The local restauranteur, named Don, is a friendly, bearded man and he offers all his patrons his specialty of moose burgers. He was a great face and a great presence and we don't even know his name! But kudos to him nonetheless.

While he really should have mowed down many baddies with a machine gun in a Final Warehouse Fight a la Travis Blackstone, what we get is a nice, decent, middling affair that would have been perfect for the PAX channel back in the day. It could have been on after Doc in back-to-back programming featuring country stars turned actors. It should've aired in PAX's 10 o'clock timeslot for a slightly edgier, 'PAX After Dark' kind of vibe.

While it's not exactly unprecedented - Higher Ground is truly the Short Fuse of its day - to see a somewhat unorthodox John Denver taking the lead as a man of action seeking justice (however tepid) - Higher Ground is one of those oddball items that's more than worthy of a one-time watch.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain (1999)

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain (1999)- * *1\2

Directed by: Jon Cassar

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Carl Weathers, Shannon Tweed, and Martin Kove

Mike McBride (Hulk), Roy Brown (Weathers), Hunter Wiley (Tweed), and possibly some other guy are the SHADOW WARRIORS. They’re a team of mercenaries, but they’re good mercenaries who rescue kidnapped children and fight terrorists. But that’s only, in true A-Team fashion, “if you can find them”. Tasked with fighting some baddies with chemical weapons and ballistic missiles, our Shadow Warrior team snaps into action. They even enlist the help of their buddy Andy Powers (Kove), sort of an auxiliary Shadow Warrior. The only problem is McBride was injected with some sort of poison and is slowly dying. Can he get an antidote in time? Will they stop the launch of the missile? Will they save the children? WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!?!



Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain is a made-for-TV (TNT to be exact) outing, and you can really feel it. It feels like a pilot for a show that was never picked up, and it would have been (and should have been) a syndicated series that would air after Xena or Hercules or Relic Hunter on channel 9 on Saturday afternoon. That’s not to say there isn’t action – there are plenty of shootouts, fights, chases, blow-ups and the like. But it feels sanitized, and the whole outing is very paint-by-numbers.



That being said, there are plenty of funny moments to be had. Hulk Hogan attempting to act “troubled” is worth the price of admission alone. The Hulkster mows down middle-Eastern terrorists holding two large machine guns, and later gets the old Prerequisite Torture treatment. Carl Weathers brings his trademark charisma, and Shannon Tweed practically salvages the whole thing just by being there. Of course, you do get some classic Tweed-Fu. Martin Kove seems to be going for the David Letterman look of the day. They all walk in slow motion away from an explosion, and Hulk Hogan punches people on a hovercraft. So it’s not a total loss.

The whole thing is rife with stereotypes and stupidity, as you might expect from another pairing of director Cassar with Hulk Hogan around the same time as The Ultimate Weapon (1998). But you shouldn’t go in expecting more than that, and there is fun to be had with what’s there. 

So, if you’re willing to accept “The B-Team”, you could do a lot worse than Shadow Warriors: Assault on Death Mountain.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

Tapped Out (2014)

Tapped Out (2014)- * * *

Directed by: Allan Ungar

Starring: Cody Hackman, Michael Biehn, Krzysztof Soszynski, Anderson Silva, Jess Brown, and Martin Kove

When Michael Shaw (Hackman) was 12 years old, some carjackers shot and killed his parents. During the incident, the boy took note of a tattoo on the neck of one of the baddies. Now in high school, he’s understandably moody and acts out by partying and neglecting his schoolwork. Caught by the cops for excessive “party rocking”, Michael is on his last chance. Thanks to Principal Vanhorne (Kove), Michael gets a chance to do his community service hours at his old dojo. When he was a kid, he was a Karate champ, but after the murder he let it all slide. When Reggie (Biehn), the dojo master, first gets a hold of him, he has him do janitorial work. But Michael starts to see the value of training in Karate again. When taken by Reggie’s niece Jen (Brown) to an illegal, underground MMA fight, Michael recognizes the tattoo he saw so long ago - it just so happens to belong to the reigning champ, a gigantic, unbeatable meathead named Dominic Gray (Soszynski). So, despite their vast weight differences, Michael goes into extreme training mode so he can beat Gray in the ring to avenge his parents’ murder. But will it be Gray or Michael who will be...TAPPED OUT?

Tapped Out is essentially No Retreat No Surrender (1986) for the Facebook generation. Elsewhere online it has been described as Batman (1989) meets The Karate Kid (1984), and it has a plot action fans have seen countless times before. Should we be applauding the fact that they’re still making movies like this? We’re truly not sure. We guess that’s pretty cool. The movie has almost as many training sequences as Green Street 3 (2013), and because Michael has to work his way up the ranks of all the “boxcar” underground fighters, and squeeze in some plot and dialogue, the whole thing is a bit longer than it needs to be. 

This Cody Hackman kid is likable enough, and it also stars fan favorites Martin Kove and Michael Biehn, so the DTV lineage is there, at least. Interestingly, in the movie it says that the murder of the parents occurred when Michael was 12 years old. Then someone later says “that was seven years ago.” If our math is correct, that means Michael is a 19 or 20 year old high school student. Maybe things are different in Canada, but this struck us as odd. Maybe he stayed back a few times.

The whole outing is shot and edited well, and has a very professional look to it. It’s clear the filmmakers, despite the derivative grounding of it all, tried to put in some emotion and quality to the overall proceedings, which we appreciated. It doesn’t look or feel like crud, as so many of its MMA-based competitors do. The fact that “Karate Boy”, as our hero is called, tries to take on these MMA guys in the ring may feel incorrect, but it’s kind of a throwback to the underground Punchfighting movies of the 80’s and the first part of the 90’s. The ring announcer bellows “Let’s go to waaaaaaaarrrrr!”, which, it has to be said, won’t be sending Michael Buffer into his panic room anytime soon.

For a decent and watchable - but nothing more - example of a modern-day DTV UFC/Underground Fighting movie, Tapped Out should fit the bill. But it seems the days of Karl Brezdin are long over, even if that spirit, in some new form, lives on. 

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Mercenary (1996)

Mercenary (1996)- * * *

Directed by: Avi Nesher

Starring: Olivier Gruner, Ed Lauter, John Ritter, Nils Allen Stewart, Martin Kove, Lara Harris, and Robert Culp 












Jonas Ambler (Ritter) is a multi-millionaire businessman with his face on the cover of Forbes magazine. When his beloved wife Joanna (Harris, of The Dogfighters fame) is killed in a terrorist attack, Ambler wants revenge. After discovering the baddies involved are headed by arch-baddie Phoenix (Kove), the corporate warrior yearns to be a real warrior when he reaches out to Hawk (Gruner) and McClean (Culp), expert mercenaries, in order to capture and kill Phoenix. At first they reject his offer of four million dollars, but they eventually relent and agree to take on the job. The only problem is, while Hawk and his crew are highly-trained badasses, Ambler is not, so they go on an extensive training regimen. All this in the presence of his head of security, Cochran (Lauter). Soon enough, Hawk and the gang are in the Middle East and fighting the bad guys. But Hawk is emotionless (or is he?) and Ambler is a bit of a goofball. But they’re going to have to learn to get along if they want to survive the most dangerous mission of their lives. Will they be successful?

Mercenary is a lot better than we thought it was going to be, having based our assumptions on having seen the second one first. Sequels are often not as good as the originals, and here is a classic case of that. There’s plenty of quality action, and it’s all very professionally done. If the movie had starred Van Damme instead of Gruner, this could have gone to the theater. That’s not to say that Gruner isn’t perfectly cast, however - as the emotionless warrior, with maybe a bit of humanity lurking underneath, Gruner is ideal as Hawk. Plus his hair seems to get higher in every scene. Halfway through the movie, he looks like Kid from Kid n’ Play.

It all kicks off with a bang in classic 90’s style, and the whole outing is perfect for video stores of that time. It even has Jack Tripper himself, John Ritter, getting in on the action. How often are you going to see that? Sure, he provides the comic relief for Hawk, but he also gets emotional and angry at times. And he’s never annoying like the characters in the sequel. Ritter gunning down Islamic terrorists. Who’d’ve thunk it? Plus, we liked the fact that the mercenaries were the good guys.

Cementing the fact that this is classic 90’s action, we have the time-honored barfight and the Prerequisite Torture of the heroes. There’s even some surprise Killfighting. Not to be confused with Punchfighting, at one point Hawk and Ambler find themselves in a dark, underground arena where men take to a pit and try to kill each other, but this is not Punchfighting. There is minimal, if any, punching, and the crowd surrounding them is not clutching cash in their hands. Plus they had knives and were dueling to the death. Leave it to us to define the subtle differences between Punchfighting and Killfighting. But it was all part of the rich array of action’s glory days.

While the movie was from ‘96, the plot - offering up millions of dollars to find a terrorist - recalls the hunt for bin Laden, and Robert Culp strongly resembles Mitt Romney. Coincidence? Well, yes. But to corral a killer cast like this is truly a once in a lifetime assemblage (look out for genre mainstay Nils Allen Stewart and an early appearance from Jaime Pressly). Director Nesher, known for Timebomb (1991) and The Taxman (1999), among others, puts in his version of a Men of War (1994)-style plot, and we say it’s successful. The only real problem with the movie is that it’s too long. It didn’t need to be 102 minutes, and if it was shorter we might be looking at an all-time classic. As it stands, Mercenary is a very good all-around action movie that is more than watchable and likable.

Featuring a cover of La Bamba by the band Popdefect, watching Mercenary will take you back to one of the last great years for DTV action. Just make sure you avoid the sequel.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Unknown Movies!

Ballistica (2009)

Ballistica (2009)- * * *

Directed by: Gary Jones

Starring: Paul Logan, Martin Kove, Robert Davi, C.B. Spencer, and Andrew Divoff





 “My Ballistica is better.” - Dragomir







When the dastardly terrorist group Hand of Truth and its leader Dragomir (Divoff) threaten to blow up many people with something called a micro-pulse bomb, CIA director Riley (Kove) unleashes the ultimate weapon on the baddies: Damian Sloan (Logan). A meatheaded CIA agent with an attitude, Sloan has at least one particular trick up his sleeve that will render evildoers of the world useless...can you guess what it is? 

Sloan teams up with token female scientist Alexa (Spencer), but Riley is continually being kept in check by the mysterious Macarthur (Davi). After getting into a bunch of underlit fights, chases and scrapes, loyalties turn, and allegiances change, but Sloan stays overly serious throughout it all. Will Sloan - or the terrorists - finally go Ballistic(a) on us all? Find out today!

Ballistica is at least three things: 1. A supremely silly action escapade 2. The name of a Martial Arts style that incorporates guns into the physical movements that doesn’t look completely ridiculous at all and is taught by the inimitable Paul Logan 3. A concept that exists throughout time and space and that lives on in all of our hearts. 

If the movie had come out in ‘87, it would have gone to the theater. If it had come out in ‘94, it would have gone to video stores. In both instances, it may have found an audience. But in 2009, the era of chintzy green screen, grade-school CGI, back-projection car chases, and filming stuff in the dark so you can perhaps cover up some flaws, it’s hard to imagine anyone out there hearing of this movie, renting it or buying it, then nodding approvingly as they watch it. 

It’s quite hard not to laugh at the scenes of Ballistica, however (among other unintentionally funny moments), so this could be a movie you can round up some friends for and watch together and have some laffs.

So, just to reiterate, Ballistica is a thing. And who better to introduce it to the world than a man named Paul Logan (not to be confused with Crocodile Dundee himself, Paul Hogan). We all remember Logan from The Ultimate Game (2001), right?...right? He looks like a ‘roided-up Jerry O’Connell, has the charisma of a piece of shrimp toast, and also looks like a ‘roided-up Jason Bateman. He deals with his emotional pain by remaining shirtless as much as possible. You’ve heard of a therapy dog? Well he doesn’t have a therapy shirt. He might be our new favorite human being. Something tells me we haven’t seen the last of Logan. Because Logan’s not done being Logan.

There are some other fan favorites in the cast too, underscoring the fact that this movie would have been better off in the 80’s or 90’s. Martin Kove has a mustache, but, more importantly, a Southwest Indian vest he wears at crucial moments in his career. If there’s an emergency in the CIA Situation Room while he’s in his office, he throws on his Indian vest and runs to meet the urgency. Just like all CIA directors. And, just as suddenly as it appears, it enigmatically fades away, like an Indian smoke signal. He had a similar wardrobe in Endangered (1994) - maybe he’s doing the whole Seagal “buckskin jacket” thing. But with a vest.

Top fan fave Robert Davi plays the typical “suit” role he’s assayed many times before, but we always love seeing him, and his presence raises the level of the movie overall. Though in a scene in a conference room with Martin Kove, Kove’s voice seems normal, but Davi’s sounds like it’s coming through a telephone. Somehow, Davi manages to be both on the phone and in person at the same time. It’s truly uncanny. We’d say it’s almost Night of the Kickfighters-esque, but the sound of both the movie and the DVD is poor. If you watch the DVD, you’ll have to crank up the volume to hear anything. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, or we may not have noticed Davi’s tele-ventriloquistic abilities. 

Also, the great James Lew and Simon Rhee appear in nothing roles as “Chinese Guard #1” and “Chinese Guard #2”, respectively. That’s just shameful and wasteful - they deserve better.

Just like how Sheryl Crow’s teeth are whiter than white, Ballistica’s budget is lower than low. But the movie is TRYING, which is more than you can say for other DTV crud of a similar ilk. The fact that it’s all taken so seriously is absolutely hilarious (unless it’s not and we missed the joke) and makes it worth watching. As we’ve discussed before, there are many types of dumb - some good, some bad. Luckily, this is fun dumb, so you can easily have fun watching Ballistica.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Endangered (1994)

Endangered (1994)-*

AKA:  Uncivilized

Directed by: Nick Kellis

Starring: Sandra Hess, Kent MacLachlan, Rick Aiello, Renee Estevez, and Martin Kove











Kate (Hess) and her husband (?) Neil (MacLachlan) decide to go camping in the wilderness outside of Seattle. Neil obviously taking up the challenge because he’s such an enthusiast of Postal Carrier-style shorts. While enjoying their sojourn, a passel of punks decide to ruin the fun. Assaulting Kate and Neil, Kate goes on the run in the woods. 

While there, she runs into DeVoe (Kove), a man dressed as some sort of indeterminate Indian. What are his true motives? Meanwhile, the Sheriff of the nearby town of Wilkeson, Shirley (Aiello) wants his own answers for all the goings-on in the woods, so he embarks on his own expedition into the harsh and unforgiving lands. Will anyone make it out alive?

The reason why we checked out Endangered is because we’re fans of Martin Kove. As we discovered, there’s really no other reason to seek out this boring wilderness slog. And it’s a total waste of Kove at that, as he gets very little screen time. In addition, his character, like the movie as a whole, is poorly written and conceived. Presumably influenced by I Spit On Your Grave (1978) and possibly even Savage Instinct (1991), Endangered has none of the qualities that enliven those movies - it just meanders and goes around in circles.

It’s director Kellis’ only feature film to date, and it’s easy to see why. He does manage to get some celebrity siblings on board - Rick Aiello is Danny’s son, and Renee Estevez, who is Martin Sheen’s daughter and Charlie Sheen’s sister, has a very small part as well. 

We get to see some all-too-brief Rick Aiello-Fu at one point, and Kove’s getups are something (buckskin fringed jackets and wild Indian-style ponchos, etc.), but there’s so much dumbness on show, these bright spots get lost.  Not enough actually HAPPENS in this movie, and you don’t care about the characters one way or another. Even as they try to survive, it’s hard to care because they’re all victims of bad writing. Even when one of the head punks causing all the terror rips the scrunchie off his ponytail in anger, despite the fact that it’s a power move to show you’re upset (hey, we’ve all been there, right?) it’s still hard to care. Sad, really.

And because it was 1994 and set in the environs of Seattle, naturally during the credits there is a Pearl Jam-like “grunge” tune that plays. Pretty predictable. You could always tell it was the mid/late-90’s in DTV land because the music moved to a more grunge style, away from the more AOR style of the 80’s. See Overkill (1996) and Food For Feet as an example. We see this as an upsetting change - give us Steve Butler and “Always On My Mind” or Joe Lamont’s “Quiet Cool” any day of the week. Unfortunately, that’s another weak point for Endangered and the straw that broke the camel’s back, really.

Sadly, we cannot recommend Endangered. Even Kove fans are likely to be disappointed.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Without Mercy (1996)

Without Mercy (1996)-* *

Directed by: Robert Chappell

Starring: Frank Zagarino, Martin Kove, and Ayu Azhari












 John Carter (Zagarino) is an ex-Marine, ex-’Nam vet and ex-UN soldier who is now living in Indonesia scraping by as a Punchfighter. He gets wrapped up with fight promoter and all-around jerkwad Wolf Larsen (Kove), and his girlfriend Tanya (Azhari). Going into Larsen’s world proves to be dangerous and now the two men, in some sort of love triangle, have to fight it out for Tanya. Who will win? Who will care?

The “Low-rent Lundgren” himself, Frank Zagarino, returns in this typically lackluster effort. Sure, the beginning of the film may have the classic “flying sideways while yelling and shooting” move we all know and love, along with an exploding helicopter, but the movie as a whole lacks excitement and never seems to get off the ground. 

The pacing is off, the energy is not there, and the whole exercise is paint by numbers. The whole plot of a guy in a foreign country scraping by fighting seems very familiar, but then that whole aspect of the plot seems to just fall away. There’s also the prerequisite torture scene, but for some unknown reason, Zags had to be naked, and that’s just more Zags than we needed to see.

 Without Mercy appears to be Zags’ first Punchfighter, if you can call it that. After this, he never really went down a Punchfighting-based career path. In the movie, they even call them “Kumites”. But he seems to have met his match with Martin Kove: they were both Marines, both Vietnam vets, and they both have names made famous in other movies (Zags is the ORIGINAL John Carter. Disney should have noticed this, because he’s just as flat, boring and uninspired as the multi-million dollar version. Kove plays a man named Wolf Larsen, and the producers should have known about the Expect No Mercy, 1995 star - even if he spells it Larson with an O. Interestingly, Expect No Mercy and Without Mercy, though similarly titled, both came out the same year).

Though we don’t know who created the song or what its title is because it receives no credit, the main theme of the movie seems to be called “Lost In A Foreign Land”. The makers of the song seem heavily influenced by The Police. It’s played more than once, just to really emphasize that the blonde, blue-eyed Zagarino isn’t a native Indonesian.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Outfit (1993)

The Outfit (1993)-* * *

Directed by: J. Christian Ingvordsen

Starring: Lance Henriksen, Billy Drago, J. Christian Ingvordsen, Rick Washburn, Josh Mosby, and Martin Kove










Set in the 1930’s, The Outfit is a tale of gangsters and prohibition. The notorious Legs Diamond (Mosby) is at odds with equally-infamous Dutch Schultz (Henriksen). Lucky Luciano (Drago) is trying to hold it all together so their bootlegging and other illegal activities can “become as big as U.S. Steel” (which is based on an actual quote). Sensing the brewing hostilities between the two “public enemies” and their camps, G-Man Bone Conn (Ingvordsen) infiltrates the operations and sets off a mob war. Conn’s boss, Agent Baker (Kove) doesn’t necessarily like his rogue ways, but he needs results to show J. Edgar Hoover. But will playing both ends against the middle get Bone in a whole heap o’ trouble? It just may, because you don’t want to get on the bad side of some of the most feared gangsters in history. Dare you try on THE OUTFIT?

Ignore any negative things you may have heard about this movie (if you heard anything at all - it seems to be one of the lesser-seen movies in the canons of Henriksen, Drago and Kove). For a DTV item that clearly took its cues from Bugsy (1991), Mobsters (1991), and The Untouchables (1987), the latter of which also featured Billy Drago, but with a fraction of the budget of these Hollywood movies, The Outfit comes out an entertaining and worthwhile piece.

From the team of Ingvordsen and Kaman, the dudes behind Comrades In Arms (1992), they’ve upped the ante and admirably attempted - and succeeded - making a period piece with a low budget for the Direct-To-Video market. Ingvordsen once again stars as the hero/badass named Bone (just like he did in Comrades), and Kaman, who shot the movie, does a nice job using some lenses and grain that help with the period feel. As long as Kaman isn’t directing, he usually does a good job. Drago was a great choice for Lucky Luciano - Drago has made a career of being a professional villain, why not try him as a real life gangster?

Plus there’s the currency Ingvordsen and Kaman could leverage from Drago’s turn as Frank Nitti in The Untouchables. Fan favorite Henriksen goes all-out in his portrayal of Schultz. It’s great to see him get angry, yell and be tough and intimidating in that role. Kove is also winning in his relatively small role as the FBI boss. Together with Josh Mosby as Diamond and the aforementioned Ingvordsen as Bone, not to mention Rick Washburn and others, the strong cast helps a lot and puts this movie in the winner column.

There was obviously an attempt to get some authenticity and some real-life events in, and the writing shows that. But they also didn’t skimp on the Tommy guns. It’s really a nice mix of good writing and action violence, and if they had more money, they would have made Public Enemies (2009) 16 years before Public Enemies. 

Some minor negatives include: the film starts to lose focus at times, especially in the brief Punchfighting scene (yes, there is some quick Punchfighting - it did exist in the 30’s), and some of the acting from a few of the non-principals and some staging got a bit wonky at times, as it is wont to happen in some DTV products. But really that’s all we can say as to a down side to this movie. We applaud their ambition to make a historically-based period piece with the resources they had.

If you’re seeking some different fare but with some familiar faces, do check out The Outfit.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty