The Butcher (2009)

The Butcher (2009)- * * *

Directed by: Jesse V. Johnson

Starring: Eric Roberts, Jerry Trimble, Robert Davi, Keith David, Bokeem Woodbine, Irina Bjorklund, Vernon Wells, Geoffrey Lewis, and Michael Ironside







Merle "The Butcher" Hench is one cool dude. He's an ex-boxer, has a pair of golden guns, and he drives a 1969 Dodge Charger. His temperament is very even and he doesn't yell. He also has a gambling problem. As an enforcer for Irish mobster Murdoch (Davi), he is highly skilled in "the science of violence", as someone tells him. However, Merle's luck begins to change when he wins money from both Chinatown Pete (Woodbine), and Larry Cobb (David).

Meanwhile, thinking that Merle is "over the hill", he is set up as the patsy for a multi-million-dollar heist on a group of other gangsters. While Hench does end up with some of the money, and plans to use it to run off into the sunset with diner waitress Jackie (Bjorklund), he can't help but shake the fact that he needs to get revenge for the fact that Murdoch and his boys betrayed his long-time loyalty to them. So, risking it all - including a potentially brighter future with Jackie - The Butcher gambles one last time...for his life.

There's a lot to recommend about The Butcher. The style of it is fairly downbeat and a bit unorthodox, with some interesting flashbacks. It seems influenced by the "L.A. Noir" of the past. It's a fantastic showcase for fan favorite Eric Roberts as well, as he not only gets to ponder on the existential side of things, he also does some Eric Roberts-Fu on the baddies, and he shoots a whole heck of a lot of them as well. 

Director Johnson is almost venerable towards Roberts and gives him the starring role he deserves. There are a lot of other interesting character moments as well - Davi doing an Irish accent, instead of the expected Italian one, was a surprise treat. Woodbine and David as The Butcher's gambling cronies added a lot. The great Geoffrey Lewis as Naylor, the pawnshop owner, stood out. Although he only appears in the silent flashbacks, Vernon G. Wells is hiding in there as well. And this has to be one of the best-ever performances in Jerry Trimble's career.

The cast is strong and the main idea behind the film is simple but effective. We've seen a good amount of Johnson's films at this point, and he really seems to understand action and what the fans want. He's one of the very few directors out there that really seem completely dedicated to the action genre. 

While The Butcher is far from a thrill a minute - it's deliberately paced and takes time to build up a head of steam - Johnson seems to be showing the fact that you can combine action violence and quasi-film noir without a hitch. When the action does come, it's explosive. It's all the more impactful because of the character moments that surround it. Johnson does his best to eschew cardboard characterizations. 

We applaud everything about the film, with the exception of one little caveat. It's too long. At almost two full hours, we couldn't help but think that if it was trimmed down to 90 minutes or so, it could have worked better. Yes, we realize we just contradicted ourselves a bit - it takes time to build up character moments, so how can we say we love those moments and then want to cut them - but surely a few trims here and there just to get things down to a reasonable running time couldn't hurt.

Perhaps interestingly, the working title for the Van Damme film 6 Bullets (2012) was The Butcher. They must have realized that this The Butcher predated it, then they changed it. Then they got Joe Flanigan. As all movies should.

The Butcher is a solid film all around with a lot of good points and highlights. Its mix of thoughtfulness in with the violence was appreciated. There are interesting faces, as well as ideas, and the cast is excellent. The only thorn in the movie's side is that it's too long. So, as that's not a complete dealbreaker, we say check it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Body Count (1995)

Body Count (1995)- * *

AKA: Codename: The Silencer

Directed by: Talun Hsu

Starring: Robert Davi, Steven Bauer, Sonny Chiba, Brigitte Nielsen, Cindy Ambuehl, and Jan-Michael Vincent

“It’s the 90’s!” – Eddie Cook

Eddie Cook (Davi) and Vinnie Rizzo (Bauer) are not just two of New Orleans’s finest, they’re also best buddies. But their jobs are about to get a heck of a lot more challenging now that Makato (Chiba) and his partner Sybil (Nielsen) have come to wreak havoc in the Big Easy. Makato is a sly and crafty hitman and expert marksman. We as viewers know this because he has a special assassin hat. Further complicating the lives of Cook and Rizzo is the entrance of their new supervisor, Special Agent Janet Hood (Ambuehl). Will Makoto and Sybil’s killing spree ever end?

Body Count is yet another victim of what we call the Lone Tiger Effect. For those who don’t know, this is when a movie gets a great cast of B-movie faces together and you think you can’t lose as a viewer – and then you do. Perhaps it’s a classic case of “too many cooks”, but despite the stellar cast, Body Count just doesn’t deliver the goods. 

That’s not to say there aren’t some high points – someone walks away from an explosion in slow motion, Davi and Bauer have good chemistry together, and there’s a very impressive PM-style car flip/explosion. There should have been more moments like these. Additionally on the plus side we have a competent, classic-90’s video store look and some nice New Orleans locations. This includes, almost apropos of nothing, a stereotype Southern Sheriff. But the movie doesn’t really hook you in, and the pacing seems off. The police station has a poster for The Terminator (1984) right there in the squad room, so it shows the local cops have a nice sense of décor.

As for the cast (besides the aforementioned fan favorites Davi and Bauer), we have Brigitte Nielsen, who was given a much meatier role in Mission of Justice (1992). It was nice to see that Sonny Chiba was all over the movie and not just in a small role. He got to show off his physical prowess and had a bunch of great outfits to boot. Jan-Michael Vincent had a glorified cameo, and even in a small role appeared a little tipsy. Ambuehl, last seen in Dark Breed (1996) was primarily eye candy despite the fact that the scriptwriters attempted vainly to make her more than that. 

The problem is that the movie isn’t wacky enough or different enough – it’s just kind of standard fare. You’d think the cast could make more out of the material, but even they can’t really pull that off. Comparable movies about a Japanese-American crime-ridden culture clash include Red Sun Rising (1994) (better than Body Count) and Double Deception (2001) (actually worse than Body Count). 

Featuring the song “All Woman” by Mark Ferrari, Body Count left something to be desired.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Awaken (2015)

Awaken (2015)- * *1\2

Directed by: Mark Atkins

Starring: Natalie Burn, Daz Crawford, Robert Davi, Edward Furlong, Jason London, Michael Pare, Daryl Hannah, and Vinnie Jones

A woman named Billie Kope (Burn) wakes up on a tropical island and has no memory of how she got there. She eventually meets other people held captive in this mysterious place, including Quentin (Davi), Berto (Furlong), and Stitch (Crawford), among others. While Billie relies on her combat training - by her father, played by Benny The Jet - to stay alive, she does remember she’s searching for her missing sister. Unfortunately, the island dwellers are at the mercy of Rich (London), and his goons such as Sarge (Jones) and Xander (Pare) - who are holding them there so they can harvest their organs. 

When an important client, a woman inexplicably named Mao (Hannah), shows up with her ailing daughter, Rich tells the island doctor, Walsh (Keith) to snap into action. However, by this time Billie and her compatriots are fighting mad and are intending to get off the island by using lethal force against their captors. Much like Gilligan’s Island and/or The Prisoner, will our heroes get off the island?

Awaken is sort of a modern-day DTV cross between Avenging Force (1986), The Condemned (2007), and Death Ring (1992). We’re glad movies like this are still being made, but it seems the only place for them to go are cable channels (some might describe them as “deep cable” channels) such as Showtime Extreme. The solid B-Movie cast goes a long way towards sustaining its entertainment value, and main star Natalie Burn certainly has the potential to go far, in our opinion. 

Not only did she star in the movie, she has co-story, co-producer, and stunt credits, and even is solely credited with casting. So I guess we have her to thank for getting all these familiar faces together. She even sings the end titles song, “Awaken”, and is/was a ballerina, just like Assassins Run’s Sofya Skya. Is this becoming the new trend in DTV action? Hopefully Skya and Burn will be co-stars in a movie together soon. They could be ex-ballerinas/cops who bust a lot of heads and fight their way up a drug ring to the evil mastermind. If anyone reading this produces these types of movies, give us a call. 

There are also some similarities to Gina Carano’s In the Blood (2014) - and even the recent Van Damme movie Pound of Flesh (2015). Maybe it’s not just ballerinas turned action stars that are the new trend, evidently organ donation is hot now too. Thankfully, Awaken combines the two. While the movie as a whole looks good, and you can see Burn’s fights well, there are some poor editing choices which mar the overall pretty cinematography. These are especially evident when someone gets tasered, the scene with the shark attack, and the Michael Pare-Vinnie Jones fight. Sadly, not only was the latter edited badly, but it should have gone on longer and been more built up in the movie. That’s the match-up we’ve been waiting for, and it’s over in a flash.

Fan favorite Robert Davi wears a John Travolta/Nicholas Cage-style wig, Daz Crawford is likable, and Vinnie Jones is his usual head-butting self that we all love and enjoy. Pare isn’t in it all that much, nor is Edward Furlong, who...let’s just say it’s a good thing that people stranded on the island are supposed to look disheveled and tired. Daryl Hannah, fresh off of Death Squad (2014) adds...something, but we’re not sure what. It looks like she’s finally joined the ranks of us lowly DTV dwellers. But I blame Hollywood for that. Because Hollywood sucks and seemingly only releases remakes, sequels, and superhero movies, there’s no place for actresses like Hannah there anymore. And if Hannah’s not going to the theater any longer, Furlong et al. certainly aren’t either. But they’ll always have a home in DTV - surely they can give Natalie Burn a call anytime.

It all ends with a very, very silly shootout, just as the audience’s patience is wearing thin. Awaken is by no means a bad movie, but it ultimately fails to capitalize on all the assets it had at its disposal. We’re hoping Burn goes up to the next level for her next outing. 

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

The Bad Pack (1997)

The Bad Pack (1997)- *1\2

Directed by: Brent Huff

Starring: Robert Davi, Ralf Moeller, Jeep Swenson, Brent Huff, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Roddy Piper, Larry B. Scott, Shawn Huff, Marshall R. Teague, and Vernon G. Wells










In the dusty border town of Los Robles, Texas, an evil white supremacist group led by Lamont Sperry (Teague) and his loyal henchman Sven (Ole-Thorsen) set up shop. I guess if you hate Mexican people, you go to the source, right? 

Well, two brothers decide the only way the destitute community can rid themselves of the baddies is by checking the ads in the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine, and hiring some mercenaries to kill them all. They take a train to L.A. and meet with a man named Biker (Wells), but he refuses their offer. Eventually they find the right man for the job: a one-man fighting force named McQue (Davi). What follows is classic “Assembling a Team” as McQue goes and finds people with special, individualized skills for the mission: Dash Simms (Piper) is the driver, Remi Sykes (Shawn Huff) is the sniper assassin, Kurt (Moeller) is the muscle, etc. This newly-christened (but never actually said out loud) BAD PACK is promised millions of dollars from the cache of the evildoers if they succeed...but will they?

The Bad Pack is a disappointment. With a galaxy of B-Movie stars on display and Brent Huff both in front of and behind the camera, you’d think it would be a no-brainer to make an awesome action classic. Not so much. But they did get the ‘no brain’ part right, as the movie is very, very dumb. It’s filled with stultifyingly stupid dialogue that drags down the whole project. Also, it needed more action. Saving all the action for the big climax is a no-no. Seeing as this is a supposed action movie, you should really have action DURING the movie. Doesn’t Brent Huff, of all people, know that?

There’s something sanitized about it - what little action scenes exist throughout the movie are quick and bloodless, and there’s minimal bad language and no nudity. It’s almost an action movie for the whole family. 

While it was great to see fan favorite Robert Davi in a lead role like this - especially when he’s foiling robbers at a diner with his canefighting skills or popping extended, unnecessary wheelies on his bright green motorbike, we wish the movie overall was of a better caliber and better suited to his skills. And because the whole outing is pure 90’s (of the pay-channel and back-shelf-of -the-video-store variety), there are not one but two scenes of Punchfighting: one with Battle Creek Brawl’s mega-meathead Jeep Swenson (R.I.P.) and Ralf Moeller, and another with Brent Huff and some other guy. Presumably these were the scenes meant to tide us over until the finale.

Marshall Teague, as the main baddie, looks a lot like George Lucas in this movie. And that’s in the scenes when he doesn’t look like Kenny Rogers. This really brought to the silver screen what George Lucas is probably like in real life. Yet another character we didn’t mention thus far, Jeremy Britt (Scott) plays a Black nerd (Blerd?) whose only function in The Bad Pack is that he owns a laptop. He claims to be the guy who “gets them the information”, as if the other members of the team don’t have access to the internet. But it was the golden age of Urkel, so, that decision makes sense.

But that leads us to two terms we coined - first is the Lone Tiger effect, when you think a movie is going to be good because of a stellar cast, but instead it’s a mess because there are TOO many characters and no one gets enough time in the sun. That’s The Bad Pack. 

Also it’s a Lacktion movie: a supposed action outing that lacks action. That’s The Bad Pack as well. Add to that some annoying characters and some light bathroom humor, and our good will is falling precipitously. And it’s all such a waste. The potential is CLEARLY there for a better movie, but it falls flat. Roddy Piper as a DRIVER who only marginally participates in the (of course) final warehouse fight? Are you kidding me? But on the bright side, Ralf Moeller stole his scenes and is quite good in it, as is Shawn Huff (that would be Mrs. Brent Huff).

Sadly, audiences who watch The Bad Pack are Huffing the fumes of the glory of the past work of the participants.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC! 

The Taking Of Beverly Hills (1991)

The Taking Of Beverly Hills (1991)- *

Directed by: Sidney J. Furie

Starring: Ken Wahl, Robert Davi, Lee Ving, Matt Frewer, Harley Jane Kozak, and Branscombe Richmond


 “Beverly Hills is Closed."










Boomer Hayes (Wahl) is a big stupid meathead named Boomer Hayes. He happens to live in Beverly Hills, California, which, to his dismay, is being “taken” by Lee Ving and his gang of fraudulent cops. They organize a fake chemical spill in order to get the uber-rich out of their tony mansions so they can then steal all their expensive stuff. 

Seems like a great plan, right? Well, Boomer Hayes reckons he can put a stop to it. Utilizing all the skills he learned on the gridiron, as well as all the intelligence that would imply, he teams up with real police officer Kelvin (Frewer), who originally was with the baddies but defected back to the good guys. Masterson (Davi) is the mastermind of the operation, and Boomer’s quest involves saving the love of his life/woman he just met that night, Laura (Kozak). Will Boomer single-handedly take back Beverly Hills?

Right from the jump, something seems off about The Taking of Beverly Hills. Sure, it’s a “DieHardInA” movie, but its low-budget, shot-in-Mexico vibe is clearly evident, and the scenes almost feel like they’re in the wrong order, or something. Beginning with an unnecessarily long intro/credits sequence/travelogue, and continuing through to the mixed-up scenes, bad humor and amazingly inane dialogue, not to mention the generic aspects of the plot, The Taking of Beverly Hills is one big - as Boomer might say - fumble. 

It’s not that the concept of a Die-Hard-In-A-Town that has to be saved by an ex-footballer is a bad idea per se, it’s the pain of seeing a potentially awesome movie fall apart right before your very eyes. We hate to see when an idea isn’t properly capitalized on, and here is a prime example.

The problem is you’re not invested in the characters, and you can’t really care about Boomer as a triumphant hero. He’s so much of a meathead, he can only think in terms of football analogies to anything that happens to him. So while there are a bunch of cool explosions, car stunts, shooting and general blow-ups and mayhem that ensues, it’s really all for naught, because we don’t really care anyway. 

We really, really wanted to care. But the movie wouldn’t allow us to. Matt Frewer played the typical, whining “regular guy” caught up in the action situations. There’s always a complainer. During a car chase, you know a movie is poorly written when the sidekick says something like “I think this is a bad idea!!!!!” Scooby-Doo has less audience-insulting dialogue than that. The end result is that Boomer Hayes is no more than a talking mullet.

So while Wahl’s mullet is both extraordinary and distracting, Branscombe Richmond attempts to steal focus away from whatever that is that’s on Wahl’s head by driving a tank and screaming while shooting a flamethrower. While those moments were indeed cool, the overall tidal wave of dumbness washes over every second of the movie. 

As far as the music, we liked the Jan Hammer score, and of course there is the time-honored sax on the soundtrack as well, but there are all these weirdly unnecessary hits of the day on the soundtrack too. The filmmakers must have paid a bundle for them. At random times we get EMF’s “Unbelievable” and Faith No More’s “Epic”, almost as if a little punk 14-year-old snuck into the editing room after hours and added them on as some sort of prank. But then again, you haven’t heard Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat” until you’ve heard a snippet of it tacked-on to The Taking of Beverly Hills.

The long career of director Sidney J. Furie is spotty at best: there’s the good, Direct Action (2004), the okay, The Rage (1997), and the downright awful, Detention (2003). The Taking is quite mediocre and appears no one really had much faith in the project. Fan favorite Robert Davi does what he can, and we loved seeing him brandish a crossbow, but for much better Davi, see The Dangerous (1995) instead. You’d be “Taking” up a lot of your valuable time if you waste it on an unfortunate dud like this.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Ballistica (2009)

Ballistica (2009)- * * *

Directed by: Gary Jones

Starring: Paul Logan, Martin Kove, Robert Davi, C.B. Spencer, and Andrew Divoff





 “My Ballistica is better.” - Dragomir







When the dastardly terrorist group Hand of Truth and its leader Dragomir (Divoff) threaten to blow up many people with something called a micro-pulse bomb, CIA director Riley (Kove) unleashes the ultimate weapon on the baddies: Damian Sloan (Logan). A meatheaded CIA agent with an attitude, Sloan has at least one particular trick up his sleeve that will render evildoers of the world useless...can you guess what it is? 

Sloan teams up with token female scientist Alexa (Spencer), but Riley is continually being kept in check by the mysterious Macarthur (Davi). After getting into a bunch of underlit fights, chases and scrapes, loyalties turn, and allegiances change, but Sloan stays overly serious throughout it all. Will Sloan - or the terrorists - finally go Ballistic(a) on us all? Find out today!

Ballistica is at least three things: 1. A supremely silly action escapade 2. The name of a Martial Arts style that incorporates guns into the physical movements that doesn’t look completely ridiculous at all and is taught by the inimitable Paul Logan 3. A concept that exists throughout time and space and that lives on in all of our hearts. 

If the movie had come out in ‘87, it would have gone to the theater. If it had come out in ‘94, it would have gone to video stores. In both instances, it may have found an audience. But in 2009, the era of chintzy green screen, grade-school CGI, back-projection car chases, and filming stuff in the dark so you can perhaps cover up some flaws, it’s hard to imagine anyone out there hearing of this movie, renting it or buying it, then nodding approvingly as they watch it. 

It’s quite hard not to laugh at the scenes of Ballistica, however (among other unintentionally funny moments), so this could be a movie you can round up some friends for and watch together and have some laffs.

So, just to reiterate, Ballistica is a thing. And who better to introduce it to the world than a man named Paul Logan (not to be confused with Crocodile Dundee himself, Paul Hogan). We all remember Logan from The Ultimate Game (2001), right?...right? He looks like a ‘roided-up Jerry O’Connell, has the charisma of a piece of shrimp toast, and also looks like a ‘roided-up Jason Bateman. He deals with his emotional pain by remaining shirtless as much as possible. You’ve heard of a therapy dog? Well he doesn’t have a therapy shirt. He might be our new favorite human being. Something tells me we haven’t seen the last of Logan. Because Logan’s not done being Logan.

There are some other fan favorites in the cast too, underscoring the fact that this movie would have been better off in the 80’s or 90’s. Martin Kove has a mustache, but, more importantly, a Southwest Indian vest he wears at crucial moments in his career. If there’s an emergency in the CIA Situation Room while he’s in his office, he throws on his Indian vest and runs to meet the urgency. Just like all CIA directors. And, just as suddenly as it appears, it enigmatically fades away, like an Indian smoke signal. He had a similar wardrobe in Endangered (1994) - maybe he’s doing the whole Seagal “buckskin jacket” thing. But with a vest.

Top fan fave Robert Davi plays the typical “suit” role he’s assayed many times before, but we always love seeing him, and his presence raises the level of the movie overall. Though in a scene in a conference room with Martin Kove, Kove’s voice seems normal, but Davi’s sounds like it’s coming through a telephone. Somehow, Davi manages to be both on the phone and in person at the same time. It’s truly uncanny. We’d say it’s almost Night of the Kickfighters-esque, but the sound of both the movie and the DVD is poor. If you watch the DVD, you’ll have to crank up the volume to hear anything. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, or we may not have noticed Davi’s tele-ventriloquistic abilities. 

Also, the great James Lew and Simon Rhee appear in nothing roles as “Chinese Guard #1” and “Chinese Guard #2”, respectively. That’s just shameful and wasteful - they deserve better.

Just like how Sheryl Crow’s teeth are whiter than white, Ballistica’s budget is lower than low. But the movie is TRYING, which is more than you can say for other DTV crud of a similar ilk. The fact that it’s all taken so seriously is absolutely hilarious (unless it’s not and we missed the joke) and makes it worth watching. As we’ve discussed before, there are many types of dumb - some good, some bad. Luckily, this is fun dumb, so you can easily have fun watching Ballistica.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

The Dogfighters (1995)

The Dogfighters (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Barry Zetlin

Starring: Robert Davi, Alexander Godunov, Lara Harris, and Ben Gazzara










Rowdy Welles (Davi) is a badass named Rowdy Welles. He’s a flying ace that loves planes as much as he loves women, cigars, and being named Rowdy Welles. When a suit at the CIA named Althorp (Gazzara) frames Rowdy for murder, Rowdy has no choice but to do his bidding. (i.e. the “just do this one job for me” plot which may seem familiar.) 

His mission is to travel to Russia, and stop the nuclear ambitions of a baddie named Lothar Krasna (Godunov). His name is as evil-sounding as Rowdy’s is awesome. While there, he gets up to all sorts of intrigue and shenanigans, many of which involve the beautiful Mikaela (Harris). Will Rowdy stop the entire Russian nuclear program with only a toy car? Find out today!

1995 was an amazing year for the great Robert Davi. He starred in this, No Contest (1995), Showgirls (1995), and one of his career best, The Dangerous (1995), among even more film and TV appearances. It’s easy to forget these days that Davi was a big star, or at least poised to be one, in the DTV world. Regardless of his status, we remain staunch Davi fans, and while it was only natural not everything he did in ‘95 would be as good as The Dangerous, Davi still carries the movie, and looks cool smoking a cigar and/or shooting people in slow motion.

While some of the weirder elements kept The Dangerous afloat and made it memorable, The Dogfighters is merely a “guy in a foreign land beating up foreigners” movie that we’ve all seen before. But at least it’s not a plane slog like we thought it was going to be. Granted, the beginning-and-end brackets of flying scenes go on too long (as do many other scenes), but we do have one of the better exploding helicopters in recent memory, so there’s that. 

Plus, Godunov is just not that threatening in this movie. Yes, he does have the typical long blonde hair that alerts us that he is a typical Eurotrash baddie, but he’s busy dancing (they made sure to give him at least one unnecessary dance scene), and not putting Rowdy’s family at risk, or anything like that.

History-wise, The Dogfighters is a movie trapped between the 80’s and 90’s. For example, there are references to “finishing the job” with Saddam Hussein and the first Gulf War, and another beaming picture of Bill Clinton firmly placed on the wall (though not as prominent as it was in Terminal Rush), yet the Russians are still the villains, just like they were in the 80’s. 

Fascinatingly, Ben Gazzara makes a reference to having “enough explosives to take down the World Trade Center”. While the first WTC bombing had already occurred, still that should be enough to ban the airing of this movie on TV, along with the forbidden episodes of Seinfeld and The Simpsons.  (Interesting connection to that: Dan Castellaneta is credited with “additional voices” on this movie).

But really, this movie is just dumb, and loses energy a lot. It needed more action, and lacked a sense of urgency or danger. Plus Godunov looks like, and is about as threatening as, Gerard Depardieu. Also the music by the normally-great Jeff “Skunk” Baxter seems listless and noodly, not driving and action-oriented like it should be. 

The “not theater-ready” look to the project inevitably alienated potential renters, who were spoilt for choice during the height of the video store era. Thus, fairly or unfairly, The Dogfighters is sadly condemned to the lost video store shelf of history.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Dangerous (1995)

The Dangerous (1995)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Rod Hewitt

Starring: Robert Davi, Michael Pare, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Joel Grey, John Savage, Saemi Nakamura, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Paula Barbieri, and Elliot Gould











When their sister is murdered while doing an expose on drug dealers (never a good idea), her brother Kon Seki (Tagawa) and her sister Akiko (Nakamura), a team of sibling ninjas, snap into action and start killing drug goons all over New Orleans. Cop Random (Pare - his name in the movie is Random, just for clarification) is assigned to the case - but for some reason that isn’t quite clear, he’s assigned a non-police, motorcycle-riding, rogue badass named Davalos (Davi) to be his partner. 

While Davalos and Random hire local weirdo Flea (Joel Grey, not the bass player) to help them out, the baddies also hire a knife-wielding killer named Lautrec (Savage) to do their dirty work. Will the forces of law and order learn to co-exist with the secretive ninjas in order to fight the baddies? Find out today!

The Dangerous. It seems like that title should have another word or two in it...but despite the seemingly-truncated title, the movie itself is really cool and surprisingly good. It boasts an interesting idea, a top-notch B-movie cast, and is competently written and directed. It’s hard to ask for more.

It’s truly Robert Davi at his absolute best. When we first see him, he’s out in the desert and looks like Walker Texas Ranger-era Chuck Norris. Then, mere seconds later, he’s on his chopper, sporting a half-beard and strongly resembles Renegade-era Lorenzo Lamas. 

But regardless of who he happens to look like, here Davi is tough, witty and gets all the best lines. He even speaks Japanese. He and Pare make a great team. The movie was even smart enough to ensure there was none of that annoying bickering that goes on between partners with different attitudes. That sort of detail shows us that The Dangerous is a cut above the rest. It’s really surprising there were no sequels - the 90’s were full of apparently unnecessary sequels: if there can be three Snake Eater movies, and three Crackerjack movies, why not at least one more The Dangerous movie?

Speaking of the 90’s, The Dangerous is pitch-perfect for 1995. For those that remember going to your local video store around that time period, this movie will stand out as highly typical of that era. “1995” exudes from every frame of film. That’s a good thing, by the way. 

There’s a lot of solid action, from the Louisiana graveyard shootout, to the pre-Hard Target (1993) action scene in the warehouse where they keep all the Mardi Gras floats. Naturally there is the fruit cart car chase/crash, among other favorites. But Michael Pare’s car has cool stripes on the door. So there’s that.

Besides the aforementioned Pare, Davi, Tagawa, Grey and Savage, it’s certainly worth noting that none other than Elliott Gould is also on board. For some reason he has a cameo as a projectionist in the scene at the movie theater (another cool action setpiece and sports some interesting posters in the background to boot). 

The filmmakers could have gotten any actor for this part, but getting a major star like Gould must have been a coup. Not quite on the same talent level as Gould, Ron Jeremy also does a one-scene cameo as a porn director. And Sven-Ole Thorsen appears as a bodyguard. So everywhere you look in The Dangerous there is a familiar face.

Featuring some hair metal-type songs from a band called Skindiver, The Dangerous is an enjoyable movie that delivers what you want.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett
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Note: Robert Davi contacted us via Twitter and here are his tweets about The Dangerous:

"THANKS FOR REVISIT ON THE DANGEROUS !! 1 thing the Mardi Gras warehouse was a location I picked and Hard Target COPIED US." 

"We actually shot the dangerous before hard target !!! it was made in 92 released later"

Peacemaker (1990)

Peacemaker (1990)- * * *

Directed by: Kevin Tenney

Starring: Robert Forster, Robert Davi, Lance Edwards, and Hilary Shepard












A mysterious alien lands on earth and is seemingly unstoppable by the cops because on the planet he comes from, any kind of wound can be quickly healed. He ends up convincing Dori Caisson (Shepard) to help him get back to his home planet. Learning English overnight from watching TV, he ends up calling himself Townsend (Edwards). You can’t really blame him, Robert Townsend was huge at the time. But there’s trouble in the form of fellow alien Yates (Forster), who Townsend claims is an intergalactic serial killer and must be brought back to justice. 

But it’s not going to be easy, as the two are causing all sorts of havoc all over L.A. But who can Dori trust? Both claim to be “Peacemakers”, their planet’s version of police officers. One must be lying, and Dori is caught in the middle. Meanwhile, Sgt. Ramos (Davi) is trying to put law enforcement into the middle of this mess, all the while hitting on Dori. Who is the real Peacemaker? Find out today!

Fries Home Video was never a major player back in the video store days. They were just one of many labels vying for the patron’s dollar. Peacemaker seems to be their attempt at competing with very similar but higher-tier titles like I Come In Peace (1990), The Hidden (1987), The Borrower (1991) and even Critters (1986). Plus Lance Edwards’ accent and overall demeanor is unquestionably Terminator (1984)-esque. 

Thankfully, it’s all done with enough energy, enthusiasm and humor, ensuring that this movie is not a slog at all; it’s actually quite enjoyable. In our personal estimation, one of the main reasons for that is that it’s more of an action thriller, and the sci-fi elements, such as they are, aren’t oppressive, they’re just enough to support the plot. Stunts (courtesy of BJ Davis and Mike Norris, among many others), chases, shooting and other action scenes firmly place Peacemaker in the action camp, and we’re grateful it weighs more heavily on that end of the scales.

Robert Forster looks cool with his bomber jacket and giant gun, and fan-favorite Robert Davi puts in an interestingly low-key performance. We were also very thankful that the character of Dori was not annoying. So many times before we’ve seen situations where that type of character is always irreparably confused or whining the whole time. 

But Dori is likable, perhaps because she was a classic 90’s-style jokester. 1990 was when having a wry, referential and somewhat cynical sense of humor was cool, before it became overdone, and before things were dripping with irony.  Dori, like the movie itself, hits that sweet spot before things went to hell because of MTV and such. Come on, apparently this movie was made at a time when cops at the precinct still smoked pipes for goodness’ sake. Pipes! 

Well, at least one guy did. This “PipeCop” as we called him, intrigued us and we wished we knew more about him. Perhaps a spinoff TV show would have answered all of our questions. Sadly, to date this has not happened. But with Hollywood dredging up everything from cartoons to board games because they’re bereft of ideas, hasn’t PipeCop’s day truly come?

Peacemaker is well-made and fun to watch. While they may have overdone the twist of “who’s really the bad guy?” (you can’t keep doing that over and over - it would have been more effective if they had done it less, in our opinion) there are far more positives than negatives here. We say check it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and RobotGEEK!

Cyber Vengeance (1997)

Cyber Vengeance (1997)-* *1\2

Directed by: J. Christian Ingvordsen

Starring: Robert Davi, Rick Washburn, J. Gregory Smith, Amy Lynn Baxter, Josh Mosby, and J. Christian Ingvordsen 












In the far-off year of 2005, VR rules. Will Singleton (Smith) is a man obsessed with VR. He even has a VR job and a VR girlfriend. His job involves working the bugs out of a “Virtual Reality Prison”, where prisoners are forced to compete in VR games against “wealthy sportsmen”. The mastermind of the VR prison system is one R.D. Crowley (Davi). Because he believes one of the VR prisoners might be innocent, Crowley throws Singleton into the game with the other sportsmen. These games involve going into various different historical periods and trying to survive. There’s even a madman on the loose, Baracus (Washburn). Will Will Singleton make it back to reality...alive?

In the 90’s, VR was huge. It was surely slated to be the next big thing. Many movies have utilized the VR concept, such as Expect No Mercy (1995), Evolver (1995), The Protector (1999), and even more mainstream fare such as Johnny Mnemonic (1995) and Virtuosity (1995), and the TV show VR Troopers, among many other examples. Here, Ingvordsen, the man behind Comrades In Arms (1992) and The Outfit (1993), assembles a sort of cross between an “unstuck in time” kind of adventure and a Most Dangerous Game (1932) knockoff. With silly morphing effects and characters running around with straps, suction cups and VR helmets, of course. In fact, the name of one of the makers of said helmets, “Headgear”, whose name is prominently displayed on the outside of the helmet, doesn’t really make someone look tough. It makes you think of complicated braces.

The movie starts off with a bang, with Matthias Hues and other loinclothed fighters squaring off in what has to be one of the most ridiculous battles yet filmed. It’s rare to see something THIS silly THIS fast, and surely that makes this movie worth every penny. Before you can say “Start conscious Shareware”, the action continues in Revolutionary War times, the Prohibition era (which seems very much like Ingvordsen’s other movie, The Outfit), WWII, Vietnam, and other time periods. Frankly, it all gets a bit disjointed and jumbled, as you don’t know what time period, or what part of reality, the action is taking place in. But the team of Weiner, Washburn (who REALLY looks like Mike Huckabee) and Ingvordsen did it all on a low budget, and we commend them for that.

As far as those actors are concerned, Ingvordsen and Josh Mosby look almost exactly alike, which is the same problem we had with The Outfit, in which they both co-starred. Plus Ingvordsen’s accent is just incomprehensible, seemingly going from Scottish to German to no accent in the course of one sentence. Washburn portrays Baracus (not to be confused with Brakus), but he must be the brother Mr. T rarely talks about.

Rather than just sit at your computer and have a nice relaxing game of Snood, Sim City or Myst, we now have high-stakes VR. But it all has funny sound effects, and everyone where Will works wears the same Carhartt jacket. That’s the future for you. And there are some classic cliches such as the Black guy screaming while shooting a machine gun and the shrew of a girlfriend (in this case with the very 90’s name of Tori). But like how NASA, in the course of developing the complexities of the space program, brought us many other by-product inventions such as Velcro, so Cyber Vengeance does by inadvertently creating GoToMeeting. So that’s all well and good, but there are a few problems to spoil the fun.

Contrary to the tagline of Absolute Aggression (a retitling or possibly a re-edit of this movie, we’re not really sure), if you die in the game, you DON’T die in real life. If that was the case, the movie would be a lot more exciting. As it is, it’s just a bunch of middle-aged men playing video games. Robert Davi might kill you, but it’s not a direct cause of the game. Also, there’s very minimal Hues. He’s featured prominently on the artwork we have (for whatever reason, this was released on DVD under this title in Poland and Germany and seemingly nowhere else), but it’s practically a cameo. You’d think Matthias Hues portraying a hulking brute named “Thor” would be the role he was born to play, but sadly it’s cut pretty short. Plus the ending is highly unsatisfying. So all in all it’s kind of a mixed bag.

So while there are some good ideas here, and it’s great a movie which takes place over numerous historical periods was made on such a low budget, it seems Cyber Vengeance - of which there’s minimal vengeance, by the way - would be of interest to buffs of 90’s nostalgia, and few others.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett