W Is War (1983)

W Is War (1983)- * * 

Directed by: Willie Milan

Starring: Anthony Alonzo, Paul Vance, Joonee Gamboa, Den Motero, and Anna Marie Gutierrez









A frightening new gang is running wild on the streets of Manila and terrorizing the citizens. They are all bald and wear bizarre leather costumes. Imagine a cross between Buddhist monks and Zipperface-style leather freaks, and you’re just about there. A good cop named W2 (Alonzo) gets into a scuffle with the gang and...wait. 

The guy’s name is W2. W2. There’s also a guy in the movie named R2. In real life he’s played by Bing Davao, so we don’t know which is cooler. So the good guys are like tax forms meet Star Wars. When W2 shoots the evil gang leader’s brother, said leader, Nosfero (Montero) wants him dead, and that seriously puts a crimp in W2’s new marriage with W2’s Wife (Gutierrez) (her name in the movie is credited solely as “W2’s Wife” - but then again, if you were W2’s wife, isn’t that all you’d want to be known as?). 

After Maj. Medina (Gamboa) takes away W2’s badge and gun, he goes on a solo mission to stop Nosfero and the evil gang, which he discovers is a cult. When he finds out they kidnapped a bunch of schoolchildren, and are about to enter into a million-dollar opium-smuggling deal, he really snaps into action. Find out just how he does it as W2...IS WAR.

God bless the Philippines. They provided us with so much cinematic entertainment in the 70’s and 80’s, and this is one of their more off-kilter entries. It’s a bit like Cobra Thunderbolt (1984) (which is Thai, but who’s counting?) meets Search for Vengeance (1984). 

Much like how the centerpiece of Cobra Thunderbolt was our beloved Lt. Molly and her shooting a machine gun at the baddies while riding a jetpack, here the main focus is clearly the gang/cult and their wonderful attire. It’s like a Mad Max situation, but the movie gives no indication it takes place in the future. Is the Philippine economy really doing that bad? It can’t be, because their film industry seemed to be doing gangbusters then...but that didn’t stop Nosfero and the gang from being the “biggest pot producer in Asia” to graduating to lucrative opium deals. They sure got a ton of extras to be in the gang, and we can see the lure. Not the drugs -- the outfits, of course.

It’s even explained that people follow Nosfero because he has strong powers of hypnotism. And all this time we thought it was his fashion-forward sideways ponytail. Also, the higher-ups in the organization get cool single-name appellations like Pendragon and Voltar. In order to beat them, W2 slaps some metal siding on his car - and himself, becoming, quite literally, a knight in shining armor - and rolls into battle. 

The final 30 minutes or so of the movie is one extended battle sequence/climax. It goes from a strange curio with wacky dubbing and odd people in the first half to an out-and-out exploding hutter, with blow-ups, guard tower falls, and the works in the latter half. It all has a funky, 70’s-style score from Ernani Cuenco, and director Milan is handy with wide-angle lens effects. He also directed the hard-to-find and awesomely-named Ultimax Force (1987).

Released on the great Paragon label during the VHS era, it has also, interestingly enough, received a DVD release on the Telavista label. Both U.S. formats used the original title, simply “W”, not to be confused with the Twiggy movie of the same name. You could walk into a video store in the mid-80’s and find two movies called W, one on Paragon and the other on Lightning. It truly was an amazing time. We were really spoiled back then. But much like W2, W continues to survive.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Naked Vengeance (1985)

Naked Vengeance (1985)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Deborah Tranelli, Henry Strzalkowski, Kaz Garas, Steve Roderick, Nick Nicholson, Carmen Argenziano, and Bill McLaughlin








Carla Harris (Tranelli) is a woman who seemingly has it all: a rich and luxurious life as an actress with a successful lawyer for a husband. When her beloved hubby is killed by a common street thug, she travels back to her rural home town of Silver Lake, California, to live with her parents and re-evaluate her life. 

However, far from the serene environment she was hoping for, she has to deal with constant harassment from the local gang of good ol’ boys. Led by local butcher Fletch (Garas) and including gas station attendant Sparky (Nicholson), among others, their rude and lewd behavior eventually escalates into a full-on gang rape. When the disgusting thugs end up murdering her parents, as well as Timmy (Roderick), Carla has an emotional breakdown that leaves her in a near-catatonic state. While being observed for shock and other symptoms at the local hospital, Carla decides to bypass the seemingly ineffectual Sheriff, John Cates (McLaughlin) and dispense her own brand of justice. Violent vigilante justice, the only kind that gets results. But will she eliminate her attackers before it’s too late? Find out today!

While Naked Vengeance has a similar look, structure and feel to other Cirio movies, this ranks as one of his best, thanks to the intense, no-nonsense storyline and pace. It can proudly rank among other female-fronted revenge movies such as Ms. 45 (1981), Savage Streets (1984), Sudden Death (1985), and of course the movie it most closely models itself after, I Spit On Your Grave (1978). 

A lot of Cirio regulars are on show as well, mainly as the lecherous townsfolk - his stock company of actors, as it were, such as Kaz Garas (who resembles Powers Boothe), fan favorite Nick Nicholson, and Henry Strzalkowski, among others.  Cirio was kicked into high gear for this one, and, especially compared to his more standard outings, here he was surely in a state of grace.

Naked Vengeance is the time when the “Cirio Formula”, if there is such a thing as one, finally clicks and everything totally works. His method of repeating the theme song numerous times throughout the movie is employed  here, and thankfully it’s the driving anthem “Still Got A Love”, by Michael Cruz and sung by the main star, Deborah Tranelli. 

The cameraderie of the baddies is interesting: they all bowl together (and have nifty personalized bowling shirts to boot), and they even work out together on the same schedule in a place that can only be described as a “Villain’s Gym”. The day after their atrocity, one of them even says to his buddies, “Eh, I don’t feel like working out today.” There were no other patrons in the gym, either. Maybe you get 10% off your membership if you’re an evil scumbag. One of their beefs against Carla is that she changed her name from Olson to Harris, which in their view is true diva behavior that they cannot abide. Why Harris is a more glamorous name than Olson is not explained. Also of note is a movie marquee which is playing Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984).

Important note: the version released on Vestron is cut. The version released on Lightning is uncut. So for anyone planning on collecting this movie, make sure you get the Lightning version.

We love revenge movies here - hence the name COMEUPPANCE reviews - and Naked Vengeance is a gem.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 
 

The Wind (1987)

The Wind (1987)-* * *

Directed by: Nico Mastorakis

Starring: Meg Foster, Wings Hauser, David McCallum, Robert Morley, and Steve Railsback












Sian Anderson (Foster) is a mystery novelist who leaves her posh L.A. home to write her next thriller in Greece. She goes alone and leaves her husband John (McCallum) to do what he seems to love to do most: swim in the pool. Once in Greece, she avoids any metropolitan areas and heads straight to a remote, ancient, seaside village. She rents her villa from one Elias Appleby (Morley), an eccentric and verbose older gentleman. He warns her about the violent and tempestuous “Wind” that can attack at night. Nevertheless, she begins work on her book. When the strangely unbalanced Phil (Wings), a fellow American, now expatriate and living next door, comes calling, the nightmare begins...And how can Kesner (Railsback) be of service? For all answers to your questions, just listen to The Wind...

There’s a lot to like about The Wind. First off, the cast: Meg Foster is a hugely underrated actress and she does a great job here. She’s the ideal focal point for a creepy tale like this and she anchors the film well. Robert Morley was also a good get for the cast and you have to love his “wacky landlord” role. Steve Railsback is pretty restrained this time around and seems a bit confused, but maybe that was his character. McCallum doesn’t do all that much. Last but not least is the one and only Wings Hauser, who with his mustache (a rarity for him) and his strange, menacing affect, plays the ideal antagonist.

But that’s the HUMAN cast. The Wind is a character unto itself in this film. It’s at least as scary as Phil, it gets angry, it comes and goes, and accentuates things. You have to expect a movie called The Wind will have plenty of actual wind, and there’s no shortage of it. The seaside village has a character of its own as well, as does the house Sian is renting. If it’s one thing Mastorakis delivers this time around, it’s atmosphere. Take the Greek locations and quality cinematography, and enrich it with a Hans Zimmer score, and you mostly have a winner.

Mostly because there are some flaws, naturally, as well: In his mad quest to make a giallo-type movie and try to outdo Dario Argento at his own game, most of the motivations for the characters are unclear. And while that also may be true for many giallos, it doesn’t matter quite as much because the Italians pack in so much weirdness and visual verve, it doesn’t matter. Technically this isn’t a giallo, so it does still matter, and because of the lack of polish on the characters, the movie starts to drag right before the climax. Still, for an “Old Dark House” thriller-horror, with Meg Foster home alone and Wings brandishing a scythe (!), The Wind is worth seeing.

Interestingly, director Mastorakis directed Wings again the following year after this in Nightmare At Noon (1988), and at one point in The Wind, Meg Foster uses the phrase “nightmare at noon”. Something about these three words must intrigue Mastorakis.

Released on the fan-favorite VHS label Lightning Video, The Wind is at the very least a one-time watch.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett

Tornado (1983)

Tornado (1983)-* * *

AKA: The Last Blood

Directed by: Antonio Margheriti 

Starring: Tony Marsina and Giancarlo Prete










 Set during the final days of the Vietnam war, Tornado is the tale of one Sgt. Sal Maggio (Prete), a man embittered by war. Compounding the situation is the hard-ass (to the point of being sinister) Captain Harlow (Marsina). The two men are always at odds, and their conflicts continue to escalate, with a court-martial looming for Maggio. When Harlow’s decisions leave people dead in their wake, Maggio doesn’t take kindly to that. But then he’s captured by enemy forces and tortured. Harlow decides Maggio is a deserter and orders his men to shoot on sight if they see him. Meanwhile, Maggio escapes from his imprisonment and takes revenge on all of those who wronged him.

If it’s anyone who truly understands the Vietnam experience, it’s the Italians. we’re being facetious, but director Antonio Margheriti is amazing and his killer body of work speaks for itself. While his The Last Hunter (1980) is superior to this, Tornado is a decent, watchable Exploding-Hut jungle movie. There are slo-mo runs from explosions (and quality explosions at that),  tons of southeast Asians with those bamboo cylindrical hats bite the dust, stock footage from the aforementioned The Last Hunter, and naturally there’s plenty of shooting, helicopters, and the prerequisite torture sequence. None of it is really new, but it’s not bad.

There’s the time-honored disco scene, which we always love seeing, and because this is an Italian production, they’re going to add a bit of their trademark gore to some of the violent scenes. Here, it’s not over the top however. This movie would seem to be highly influenced by Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), if it didn’t predate it! But its First Blood  (1982) inspirations are made explicitly clear on the movie’s alternate title: The Last Blood. As if that wasn’t enough, check out the burst on the lower right of the box art: “All the action of Rambo - set in the steamy jungles of Vietnam.” Such is the gigantic influence Stallone left on the action genre.

The year following Tornado, Tony Marsina would appear as the title character in Rolf (1984), extending his action cred. Giancarlo Prete (here as Timothy Brent) as Maggio is enjoyable to watch as the unshaven soldier with the big insubordinate streak. It’s pretty surprising his character wasn’t named “Stryker”. Luciano Pigozzi (here as Alan Collins) is an actor who’s been in pretty much every Italian movie...we think it’s been said before, but he’s like the Italian Vic Diaz. Here he gets a reasonably good role as the Hemingway-like war reporter named Freeman.

Released on VHS in the U.S. on the great Lightning label, Tornado features some memorable music, notably the end-credits tune “Holdin’ On” by Chris J. King.  It’s a GOOD movie - not bad, not great - and it lacks many distinguishing characteristics. Thanks to its director and cast, it’s capably handled and rarely boring, but needed something to set it apart.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Zero Boys (1986)

The Zero Boys (1986)-* *

Directed by: Nico Mastorakis

Starring: Daniel Hirsch, Tom Shell, Jared Moses, Kelli Maroney, Crystal Carson, Joe Estevez, and Nicole Rio

Steve, Larry and Rip (Hirsch, Shell and Moses, respectively) and their girlfriends, Jamie, Trish and Sue (Maroney, Carson and Rio, respectively) go deep into the woods of California for a paintball expedition. You see, the aforementioned dudes are “the best” at paintball. Surely something to be proud of. Collectively they are known as “The Zero Boys”. After holing up in an old cabin, the young adults are stalked by a murderous madman and the terror begins. Will they ever get out alive?

Like Masterblaster (1987), The Zero Boys is a mix of popular genres of the time, borrowing from survival movies, wilderness horror, slashers, and even Romps (what we call 80’s teen sex romps for short). Imagine a not-as-good take on Just Before Dawn (1981) mixed with Friday the 13th (1980) (Jason is even mentioned in this film, as is Stallone, so it’s no wonder this movie must have been seen by the Saw (2004) and Hostel (2005) filmmakers, who clearly stole from some of its horror elements and must have liked its “ironic self-reflexivity” which also paved the way for the Scream series). Of course, throw in the paintball from the aforementioned Masterblaster, and this is what you get.

On the down side, the ‘Boys are unlikable and you don’t care about their plight. If they’re being picked off one by one, so much the better. Not a lot happens in this movie, and the last third is very hard to see, as it’s at night in the forest with minimal lights. So there’s minimal action AND you can’t see it. If the characters weren’t so annoying, this would be a different experience entirely.  Plus there’s no main, recognizable, understandable villain. That’s also a major no-no.

On the up side, in the first half of the movie, there is some energetic and interesting camerawork, as well as some cool music by Hans Zimmer, who later became a soundtrack big shot. There’s a lot of un-PC dialogue which is always great and preserves the “totally 80’s” vibe.

Just imagine director Mastorakis’ take on 8mm (1999) meets White Fury (1990), crossed with his own Nightmare at Noon (1988). While movies like this never get credit for being ahead of the curve, as discussed in our Bloodmoon (1997) review, The Zero Boys has what must be the first Taser on screen (and what a Taser!), as well as some pioneering use of video as part of the plot. But the problem is that it is all over the map genre-wise. So was Masterblaster, but that worked and this doesn’t, mainly because it takes itself so seriously and has jerks for protagonists. Sadly, Mastorakis seems to lose interest as the movie goes along, and the movie suffers for it. Not surprisingly, the viewers’ interest wanes as well.  All they had to do to turn this movie around was to give it some characters you care about and a strongly defined villain. But no. Apparently that was too much to ask. There’s really no excuse for these silly errors.

Released by Lightning Video, The Zero Boys starts out not without some merits, but it’s like starting at the top of a rollercoaster that goes slowly down into a valley but never comes out of it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

American Justice (1986)

American Justice (1986)-* *

AKA: Jackals

Directed by: Gary Grillo

Starring: Gerald McRaney, Jack Lucarelli, Jameson Parker, Jeannie Wilson, and Wilford Brimley










Joe Case (Lucarelli) is a man from California who comes to visit a small Arizona border community. As an out-of-towner, he witnesses violence, corruption and murder at the hands of the local cops and sheriff. The main antagonist is Jake Wheeler (McRaney), a belligerent racist who has no problem dealing with the Mexican border-crossers...one way or another. Sheriff Mitchell (Brimley) also has an uneasy relationship with Wheeler, a loose cannon. Joe teams up with Dave Buchanon (Parker), one of the good cops, in an attempt to right the situation and bring Jake to justice. But will it be AMERICAN JUSTICE?

Plenty of movies in the 80’s dealt with the subject of the U.S./Mexico border - even on this site alone we have Border Cop (1979), Border Heat (1990) (AKA Deadly Stranger) and now American Justice. THIS particular border movie isn’t really an action movie per se, it’s more of a downbeat, serious drama with some violence/thriller elements. The movie’s attempt at seriousness isn’t a bad thing at all, but the storyline is simplistic, and not a lot happens around it. The movie is almost airy, if that makes any sense. The odd, slow pace isn’t conducive to anything cohesive that will stick in your mind, and the movie becomes forgettable.

Except for a few violent bits, it feels like a TV movie, which isn’t surprising, as that’s the medium director Gary Grillo spent most of his career in. Add to that the presences of McRaney and Parker, known for the show Simon and Simon. Of course, McRaney is also known as “TV’s Major Dad” as well. McRaney is well cast here and acquits himself well, and Wilford Brimley is a bright spot, adding what meat he possibly can to his small role, but there should have been MORE. More plot, more character development, more action, more suspense, more twists, more SOMETHING.

While the VHS in the U.S. was released on one of our favorite labels, Lightning, the tagline used, “Justice from the barrel of a gun”, is sadly not lived up to. It makes you think a bigger, grander movie is forthcoming. Additionally, the box states the running time at 79 minutes, but it’s really 92. Why they did this is unknown. Did they think video store patrons might rent it because it’s not a big drain on their time? If so, it may have backfired, as people want to get as much for their money as they can, and they may have thought a meager 79 minutes is not worth the investment of a video rental. These are the things that keep you up at night. Or at least us.

While not a BAD movie by any means, American Justice isn’t a great one either. File this one under “missed opportunity”.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Sno-Line (1986)

Sno-Line (1986)-* *1\2

AKA: Texas Godfather

Directed by: Douglas F. O'Neons

Starring: Vince Edwards, Paul L. Smith, and June Wilkinson











Steve King (Edwards) is a New York gangster that moves to Beaumont, Texas, figuring he can bring his street smarts to an unsuspecting criminal underworld in a different part of the country. Shortly after the movie begins, there's an on-screen title that reads: "One Year Later" for no discernible reason. He wants to build a "sno-line" from Houston to El Paso, controlling the cocaine racket. He also has a casino and there are corrupt Senators on the take.

Meanwhile a rival gang, headed by the bearded Kenny Loggins lookalike Bedford, wants to move in on the action. They have listening devices everywhere, including at the table at the country club where King hangs out. One of the members of the rival gang, Michael (Carey Clark) wants to just escape with his girlfriend with some stolen money. So it's gangsters chasing after gangsters, and Michael running away, and cops chasing them all. Who will escape?

In director O'Neons' only directorial effort, he brings us a very 80's subject. Cocaine and the people behind this drug trade. It's always fun to see Vince Edwards but the problem is this film has no heroes. You don't really root for him, Bedford or Michael to succeed. This is one of the main failings of the film. You don't really care what happens to anyone because they are all bad guys. Of course, King's assistant Gus (Louis Guss) is the most likable one, as the wisecracking old-school Italian schlub. Burt Young also could have played this role.

King hides his operation through a milk-delivery company called "King's Dairy". He delivers the coke in the milk and also collects on his gambling debts. Clever innovation. This leads to a mob war in the bayou with some good-ole-boys. King and Gus travel the back swamps in their boat named the "Fungus". A movie highlight involves Duval (Smith) and an alligator. We won't give it away.

There are some more fights, chases and double crosses, most of which the audience is indifferent towards, even though some involve King's main lady Audrey (Wilkinson). It quickly devolves into a Dukes of Hazzard episode. While the idea of a mob man dealing coke and doing mob things in Texas is pretty novel, Sno-Line lacks a certain energy and cohesiveness that would have helped considerably. We love the low-budget attitude, and all the 80's fashions alone make it watchable. Released on VHS in the U.S. on the great Lightning Video label, Sno-Line is the type of movie if you see somewhere you should pick up, but it's not necessary to go out of your way to try and find.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty