The Secret Of King Mahi's Island (1988)

 

The Secret Of King Mahi's Island (1988)- * * *

Directed by: Leonard Hayes 

Starring: Gary Daniels, Anthony East, Jim Gaines, Michelle Frankenberger, William Romero, Jerry Beyer, Kurt Otto Frankenberger, Boy Clinton, and Gomez 

A man named Chuck (Daniels) is a treasure hunter. He and his close band of buddies find themselves in the rural, jungle-enclosed areas of the Philippines doing what they do best. I.e., hunting treasure. They're in this particular area of the world because they're on the hunt for a map that would lead to a hidden cache of gold, supposedly left there long ago by a certain King Mahi. 

Of course, a baddie named Ben (East) and his minions are also looking for the map. During the course of their evil map search, they kill a father named Vince, and in his dying moments he gives a boomerang to his son. As you do. Joe (Kurt Otto Frankenberger) and his sister Leah (Michelle Frankenberger), presumably real-life siblings, join Chuck and his crew on their quest. Leah is also handy with a bow and arrow. This ragtag bunch of misfits then team up with friendly local people to find the treasure and wipe out the bad guys. Who will uncover THE SECRET OF KING MAHI'S ISLAND?

The Secret of King Mahi's Island starts off with several paragraphs of on-screen text that is light blue on a patterned background that you absolutely cannot read. We think it had something to do with the origin of King Mahi and his gold, but we can't be totally sure. Starting off on that note isn't exactly the most auspicious way to kick off the film, but things do get better from there.

You know 'Mahi is a Philippines-set jungle actioner due to the cast: Jerry Beyer, Anthony East, Jim Moss, and Jim Gaines (who evidently also performed uncredited co-direction work on the film), among other mainstays, are all here. We also get other classic credits such as Gomez (just Gomez) as 'Chief Right Hand Man', William Romero as 'Black Legs', Tsing Tong Tsai as Kimo (presumably not the same guy as the one in The Ultimate Fight), Anthony Ogunsanya as Tatu (presumably not the Russian pop duo), and a personal favorite, Boy Clinton as Boy.

Naturally, there are lots of silly lines (and silly line readings and funny dubbing). Of course, the main baddie warns his charges that he doesn't want any more mistakes. Gary Daniels should have done more Martial Arts than he does in the film, but what we get is decent enough. He does wear a sleeveless stonewashed denim shirt with acid-washed jeans, which may be the 80's version of not mixing plaids and stripes, but it's one of those "Only in the 80's" outfits that endear the viewer to the film overall.

He also wears an Indiana Jones-esque hat, and the soundtrack by Mon Del Rosario is John Williams with one synthesizer, further underlying that 'Mahi leans more towards adventure than straight-out action. You have to admire that a first-time (and only-time) director, one Leonard Hayes, attempted to create an Indiana Jones-esque movie with minimal money in the Philippine jungle. Maybe that's why Gaines had to step in to help him out; perhaps Hayes got in over his head. But the fact that he tried was extremely impressive, and shows what a golden time it was in that era of filmmaking. Filmmakers must have thought that they could try anything and just see if it worked. There seemed to be little fear of failure. That's why we have all these fantastic 80's movies we have today. Unfortunately, the film barely got a release at the time, but thanks to the magic of the Internet, we can now all see it.

Other highlights include the very excitable Joe, who is clearly the Bin Bin of this movie, there's an exploding helicopter, and a dance sequence involving the native peoples. It's like one of those Italian cannibal movies but without any of the cannibalism. Overall it's better than Dudikoff's River of Death (1989).

'Mahi was one of the rarest Gary Daniels movies to track down. Apparently it got only a minuscule DTV release in 1988 in the Philippines, Spain and Japan. Collectors have been trying to get a hold of it ever since, with hardly any luck. But, as referenced earlier, it's out there these days for all the world to see. Is it the best Gary Daniels movie out there? Not by a long stretch, but Daniels fans will definitely want to check it out. Jungle adventure buffs will enjoy it as well, and anyone who likes hard-to-find action films will be able to get something out of it. But don't go in expecting another Recoil (1998).

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, DTVC!

Blood Hands (1990)

Blood Hands (1990)- * * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Sean Donahue, Ned Hourani, Jim Gaines, Nick Nicholson, and Christine Landson

A gang of aging ne’er-do-wells decide to get drunk and cause a ruckus at the grocery store. In the midst of their raucous tomfoolery, a fight ensues and the owner of the store dies. The guys, who are, apparently, known in the world of kickboxing, then drive over to fellow kickboxer Steve Callahan (Donahue)’s house. The lead baddie, James Clavell (Hourani) – who evidently is not the author of Shogun – begins assaulting Edward Callahan (Nicholson) and his wife while Steve is off training. This event ends in tragedy. When Steve and his girlfriend Tracy (Landson) come home, they see what the gang of MAP’s (Middle-Aged Punks) did and Steve is understandably upset.

Steve’s only clue is a medallion given to kickboxing champs in the area, so he goes it alone on his quest for justice after the main investigator on the case is himself attacked by the MAP’s. Even Steve’s beloved coach, Mr. Gale – who is a dead ringer for Freddy Mercury – isn’t safe from the gang’s rampage. With revenge on his mind and BLOOD on his HANDS, Steve Callahan must snap into action. With his fists and his feet as his only weaponry, will Steve beat the baddies and win the day? Find out today!

In the U.S., Blood Hands is one of the rarest Teddy Page movies, so we were lucky to see it. It does indeed have that Page-esque silly charm and is certainly entertaining. It’s pretty impressive how they were able to make a 90-minute movie of people punching and kicking each other (that’s what takes up most of the running time). Thankfully, the noises the punch/kick hits make are enjoyable enough in their own right. It’s impossible to describe the sound, but needless to say that in real life a fist or a foot striking another human being doesn’t sound like Mario bumping a box with a question mark on it with his head. 

So there’s lots of action, a great training sequence towards the end, and a cast of Philippines-shot movie regulars such as Jim Gaines, Nick Nicholson, and Ned Hourani, who here is inexplicably credited as Nead Hourani. That’s right, NEAD. Could that a typo? In any event, the star of the show is, of course, Sean Donahue, our old buddy from Parole Violators (1994). His classic acting and fighting styles are on display, and you have to love his energy and determination. 

Known in Germany as KICKBOX TERMINATOR, which is a fantastic title, Blood Hands is indeed rare but any fans of Teddy Page, Sean Donahue, lots of punching and kicking, and/or silliness are encouraged to check it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Crime Stopper (1990)

Crime Stopper (1990)- * * *1\2

AKA: Lethal Killing Machine

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Rom Kristoff, Jim Gaines and Ned Hourani











An evil South American dictator named Ortega runs a “drug camp” and former Vietnam buddies Ray “Smithy” Smith (Gaines) and Mark Mitchell (Rom) are called in by the government to shut it down permanently…using any means necessary. After Mitchell is captured and imprisoned by Ortega’s goons, Smith goes undercover in the drug camp to break him out. Once the men are reunited, no force on earth can stop them. But they’re going to have to be careful – Ortega then captures Mitchell’s sister Carol and now the mission of the two warriors has to alter to rescue her from the clutches of the sinister and nefarious Ortega. Will the mission succeed?


Crime Stopper (AKA Lethal Killing Machine) is an amazingly fun cocktail of wackiness and non-stop violence that only could have arisen in the Philippines in the early 90’s. We have been Teddy Page fans for a long time, and only now have we discovered that this is one of his best and most all-around entertaining outings. It’s also one of the all-time best “30% New Footage!” movies we’ve ever seen, putting most of Godfrey Ho’s catalog to shame, as Crime Stopper has recycled Rom footage from his other outings such as Blackfire (1985) and Double Edge (1986). Does any of it make sense? No. Do we care? No. Would we have it any other way? Of course not!


First there are some unknown men shooting at each other and chasing each other. Then some different guys are beating the snot out of each other in a kickboxing match (one of which is Ned Hourani). Then more unknown men shoot at them with machine guns. Then a car blows up. Then a grammatically-questionable title card appears on screen to explain (?) what we just saw. Then there are some more blow-ups. Then some tanks enter the picture, and some more unknown guys are fighting a war. The viewer doesn’t know who is who. There is no explanation for anything at all. That’s when you surrender and go with the flow. Once you submit to the nonsensical charm of Crime Stopper, you will have a fantastic time. We can just about guarantee it. All you have to do is throw logic out the window and embrace the absurdity of it all.

Mitchell is the White Guy and Smith is the Black Guy. Mitchell’s code name is Cobra. Smith’s code name is Black Mamba. That probably wouldn’t happen today. But maybe the Cobra code name makes sense because the filmmakers continually want to make the viewer think of Rom Kristoff as some sort of second coming of Stallone. Have you seen the poster for Double Edge? That should explain things. Even the title, Crime Stopper, seems to be a reference to Marion Cobretti’s obsession with crime statistics. Even though the movie has nothing whatsoever to do with stopping street crime, they went with that anyway. 

Just Jim Gaines walking down the street is an entertaining thing to watch in this movie because he looks cool, and you know something awesome is about to happen. He wears a T-shirt that says “Normal is Boring”, and when it comes to Crime Stopper, it couldn’t be more apropos. As far as the voices coming out of the characters’ mouths, there’s a lot of silly dubbing by silly men with silly voices. That alone is worth seeing. Or, more appropriately, hearing. Speaking of great stuff you hear, the score by Patrick Wales is terrific and deserves a CD/vinyl reissue. Hey, if they could do it for Striker (1988), they really should do it for this too. 

All in all, Crime Stopper is a movie right up our alley. It’s a non-stop parade of violence and nonsense. It’s fun, entertaining, and short. It makes no rational sense whatsoever, but something is always happening because the movie moves along at a fast clip. What’s not to love? Recommended.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Commander 3 (1986)

Commander 3 (1986)- * *1\2

AKA: War Without End



Directed by: Teddy Page


Starring: Robert Marius, Jim Gaines, Mike Monty and Nick Nicholson












It’s 1982 in Cambodia. Captain Ted Wilson (Marius), and his fellow soldier Lt. Garvey (Gaines), among others, are test-flying a technologically-advanced airplane named the Wild Weasel. Their platoon (or perhaps their mission?) is named Lickin’ Chicken. We repeat: Lickin’ Chicken. When things go wrong and the plane goes down, Wilson and Garvey manage to escape into the jungle – but is it the KGB who caused the plane crash? Or could it be someone else? The two soldiers find locals named Nooin and Nam, and they head off on a perilous mission to find answers. Of course, this involves almost non-stop machine-gun shooting and exploding huts. What will be the ultimate fate of Lickin’ Chicken?



Director Teddy Page takes us on yet another jungle excursion with all the shooting, blow-ups, and guard-tower falls you’d expect to see. While the movie does have a handful of cool moments sprinkled throughout, including a chain of well-timed consecutive exploding huts, it’s all a bit too mediocre for our liking. The movie isn’t bad at all, and fans of jungle-set exploding hutters who can’t get enough of that sort of thing could certainly check it out on Amazon Prime. It’s competently made, but it’s just not our favorite Teddy Page – which is, of course, Phantom Soldiers (1989).



Maybe it’s unfair to compare everything Page does to that gem, because he’s done a lot of other fine work as well, but this time he had a lot of people backing him up that are mainstays of the Philippines-shot action world – stars Marius and Gaines featured almost exclusively in these types of movies. Fan favorite Nick Nicholson looks great this time around as the shady, bearded KGB agent. Mike Monty, as Dr. Meehan, wears a rumpled sky-blue suit, which is a plus, but on the negative side we don’t think it was his voice doing the dubbing. Of course, when the movie goes from the jungle action to the military offices, there is not only a picture of Reagan on the wall (as normal), but also a framed Reagan pic on the desk. The rotary-dial red phone featured in the movie must be used to call him directly.



Now let’s talk about the Cambodian elephant in the room. While the movie is known as War Without End, it’s also called Commander 3. As readers of the site know, the original Commander (1988) is one of our favorites, and perhaps the best “explosion” movie of all time. How could a Commander 3 possibly measure up? Well, sadly, Craig Alan is nowhere in sight. Commander was an Italian production and Commander 3 isn’t. While we have nothing against Robert Marius, it appears Commander 3 is an in-name-only sequel, and the two movies have little, if anything, to do with each other. This supposed sequel doesn’t approach the majesty of the original, so if you haven’t seen either of them, make sure you see the first one first. 

Commander 3 is not the worst exploding hutter we've seen, nor is it the best. It does feature a cool ending where Marius is brandishing a hand-held missile launcher in one hand and a machine gun in the other and is blowing up everything in sight. For those that can't get enough of the jungle genre, we'd say check it out, but for everyone else, perhaps not. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Final Reprisal (1988)

Final Reprisal (1988)- * * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Gary Daniels, Protacio Dee, Glazia Herradura, and Jim Gaines

In the heat of battle during the Vietnam War, Sgt. David Callahan (Daniels) along with old buddy and fellow soldier Charles Murphy (Gaines), among other members of an elite squad, stage a daring attack on the home of Vietnamese Captain Tran Van Phu (Dee). Things go horribly wrong when Van Phu’s young daughter Mai (Herradura) is senselessly murdered during the raid. Vowing revenge, Van Phu gets his wish when, five years later and now working as a trainer for the Thai military, Callahan has a family of his own. When they are mercilessly slaughtered, Callahan gets really mad and teams back up with Murphy so he can, at long last, get his FINAL REPRISAL. However, it won’t be all cut and dry, as some mysteries from the past begin to resurface…

Here we have some prime early Gary Daniels in only his second-ever film role – and it delivers the goods! Director Teddy Page rarely disappoints (here he’s credited as Tedd Hemingway; note the second “d” in Tedd), and the Page-Daniels alliance – working in the great year of 1988 and in a prime location, the Philippines – is indeed a recipe for success. Daniels’s skill and athleticism as a Martial Artist is on full display, and he’s as likable as ever. This is remarkable as he maintained these qualities throughout his career. He’s teamed up with Jim Gaines, who has had an amazing career of his own: Besides Final Reprisal, he was in Cop Game, Mannigan’s Force, Strike Commando 2, Jungle Rats, Robowar, and the rare Daniels debut The Secret of King Mahis Island – and that was just 1988!

Daniels and Gaines have a definite Crockett and Tubbs thing going on here. Miami Vice was super-hot at the time, and the clothes the two of them wear are a dead giveaway. Interestingly, Daniels’s first-ever screen credit was as “Male Stripper” in an episode of ‘Vice called Walk-Alone in ’86. Only two short years later, he was living the dream as a white-suited Crockett-esque lead. And while James “Sonny” Crockett was a Vietnam vet, Miami Vice didn’t feature Crockett mowing down baddies with a machine gun, going through “revenge training”, enduring the Prerequisite Torture as well as a torture montage. ‘Reprisal also contains killer fight scenes, as well as the classic guard tower falls and exploding huts.

While our heroes are most definitely fighting the commies, Final Reprisal offers an unusually sympathetic look at the other side of the coin. You feel bad for Van Phu and his daughter. This gives the movie a dimension you don’t often see. As a whole, Final Reprisal is a lot better and more entertaining than the much more well-known Missing in Action (1984). The whole outing starts with a bang and the viewer remains satisfied. It’s hard to ask for much more than that. Plus, we get a lot of the silenced-gun “pew” sound effect. This is to be distinguished from the “pew pew!” laser effect. A short, curt “pew” indicates a shooting done on the sly. We get a feast of them here, if there are any fans of that out there.

Puzzlingly, Final Reprisal never received a U.S. VHS release (and, as of this writing, has no U.S. DVD or Blu-Ray editions). This is a real shame, as it could have been a video store-era classic, and it could have raised the name recognition of Gary Daniels back then. It would have been perfect for video store shelves of the day. Thankfully, it does exist, and fans of Gary Daniels and/or 80’s action have a winner on their hands with Final Reprisal.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Blackfire (1985)

Blackfire (1985)- * * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Romano Kristoff, Jim Gaines and Chantal Mansfield










Sgt. Frank Johnson (Kristoff) isn’t simply Sgt. Frank Johnson, Vietnam War soldier.  Oh no, he’s so much more than that. You see, he had ninja training as a child. In spite of, or, perhaps, because of his proficiency in the deadly arts, Johnson is “marked for termination” by his military higher-ups. While war buddy Jim Anderson (Gaines) and computer technician Nancy (Mansfield) do their best to help Johnson with his plight and troubled ways, Johnson is kidnapped and, of course, tortured by a league of eyepatchioed/non-eyepatchioed baddies. 

Naturally, this makes him mad and after submitting to the torture for a surprising amount of time, his ninja training finally kicks in and he goes on a revenge mission. To sum up, we should probably just quote the great YouTube uploader Atomic Cyborg’s description of the film: “Rambo-Ninja Rom Kristoff Takes Revenge!” That pretty much sums it up, really.

Director Teddy Page and producer K.Y. Lim strike again with Blackfire, a sort of mashing-together of two 80’s action staples, the Ninja Boom and the Rambo knockoff. The results are reasonably successful, but not quite as awesome as the potential is there to fulfill. Romano “Rom” Kristoff (or Ron Kristoff as he’s billed here) is the Stallone/Dudikoff/Sho Kosugi-style hero, to the point where we inevitably called him “Rombo”. One of the characters even makes the obligatory Rambo reference, putting the whole outing into a context the viewer already has.

The movie gets off to a bang - literally - much like Page’s Fireback (1983), Blood Debts (1985) and especially Phantom Soldiers (1987) - you gotta hand it to the guy, he really knows how to start a movie. Men in army fatigues screaming while shooting machine guns, huts exploding, guard tower falls, grenade throws, neck snaps and strategic use of slo-mo, all among the leafy green foliage kick off the movie and we were impressed, no matter how many times we may have seen these things before. But the icing on the machete was Rom’s “super crossbow” - a badass crossbow with some sort of missile as the projectile.

Inevitably, though, things slowed down after this impressive opening. As much as we love 80’s computers with their green one-color text, watching the Nancy character work on one for such a long time dragged the movie down. Then we have the time-honored barfight, and then the (overly-extended) Prerequisite Torture. All the “bullet” points are thus hit. There’s even a WYC (White Yelling Chief), and Rom has a classic black “revenge outfit” that he dons before the aforementioned final mission. It all adds up to some standard namsplotation but with a healthy handful of standout moments. It’s like diluting your Metamucil in water. There should have been less water.

However, there is a lot of comical dubbing, including very funny dubbed grunting and yelling. But these are men of action and not words - or at least, that’s what Sgt. Jim (Gaines, who co-wrote the movie) tries to turn the soldiers into, but as drill sergeant, he has his work cut out for him, with a cadre of pudgy recruits who look like they spend more time cultivating their mustaches than their muscles.

Much like how Sgt. Blackfire Johnson (that’s his code name, by the by), listens to a regional variant on Cyndi Lauper’s “She-bop” when he wants to collect his thoughts and ponder his situation, and then does a triumphant snapping of his fingers when he comes to a realization, the viewer will also have a realization - that this jungle outing could’ve been better. That’s not to say it doesn’t have its moments, especially the beginning, but it’s easy to see why this never had a U.S. VHS or DVD release. Sure, we would have appreciated it, but video labels might have deemed it unnecessary. Thank goodness for YouTube, where, as of the time of this writing, you can view the movie and decide for yourself.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Blood Debts (1985)

Blood Debts (1985)-* * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Richard Harrison, Ann Milhench, Catherine Miles, Willie Williams, Jim Gaines and Mike Monty












Mark Collins (Harrison) is a Vietnam vet whose daughter, Sarah  (Miles), and her fiance, are both shot dead by thugs.  Taking matters into his own hands, he searches all over the Philippines to find and execute the culprits. But while he was carrying out his revenge missions, he was being watched by two mysterious figures, Peter (Gaines) and Bill (Monty). They like his style so much, they hire him to kill some more criminals. They even team him up with a former mob hitwoman named Liza (Milhench). You’d think Collins would be in hog heaven, now being paid to do what he loves best. But all is not as it seems, and after some twists and turns, we truly see who has to pay up on the BLOOD DEBTS...

This movie kicks off with what might be one of the best openings ever. We certainly won’t spoil it for you, but it sets the scene perfectly. But then, why wouldn’t it - this is a gem from fan-favorite director Teddy Page, a man known for killer openings. He directed Phantom Soldiers (1987) after all. But here he reunites with his Fireback (1983) stars Harrison and Milhench and the results are silly fun at its best. His use of slow motion, seemingly one of his trademarks, is on full display here.

Funny dubbing, classic clothing, funky music, and that timeless Filipino sense of incoherence reign, and these are all the things that make a great time in front of the old VCR. The movie is clearly inspired by Death Wish (1974) but it takes the formula in some interesting directions. Plus, Harrison’s wardrobe, the staple of which seems to be “track suit with no shirt”, can best be described as the “Casual Bronson”. After all, you want to be flexible and comfortable if you’re tracking down and killing large numbers of people. Harrison is credited with being a co-writer of the movie, I wonder if any of that was in the script? And did we mention the dubbing?

It was nice seeing Harrison in a non-ninja role, and there’s even a scene at a liquor store called “Harrison house of wine”. Is that just a coincidence? His foil, Ann Milhench, is beautiful as Liza, pronounced “Leeza”, apparently pre-dating the meteoric rise of talk show host Leeza Gibbons. Milhench has only been in six movies, and we’ve seen four of them (this and the aforementioned Fireback, plus Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985) and the awful Sloane (1986). ) 1985 was a great year for her, as she did half her career in that golden year. It should also be mentioned that Willie Williams has a small role as Julius, Collins’ informant and confidante.

You’ve just got to love Continental Video for releasing this. Just for the two wacky on-screen title cards seen in the movie, it’s worth seeing. For the sillier side of the revenge drama, do check out Blood Debts.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Fireback (1983)

Fireback (1983)-* *1\2

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Richard Harrison, Ann Milhench, Jim Gaines, and Mike Monty












Jack Kaplan (Harrison) was a weapons specialist in Vietnam who invented the most awesome gun ever - a gigantic combination grenade launcher/bazooka/missile launcher that’s loaded with other surprises and goodies.  One day he’s showing off his prize possession, and the next he is imprisoned in a P.O.W. camp. When he is released, he finds his beloved wife Diane (Milhench) has been kidnapped. For the remainder of the film’s running time, Jack runs around from place to place beating people up, and avoiding grievous bodily harm by many baddies, while trying to find the whereabouts of his wife. Additionally, the police are after him, and Jack must avoid them as well. The Police Chief (Monty)  - (that‘s his credited name in the film) is spearheading that operation. Will Jack find his wife, and while being shot at every day, will he...FIRE BACK?

A Teddy Page movie shot in the Philippines, starring Richard Harrison and Mike Monty...if you rent or buy FIREBACK, you know what you’re in for: exploding huts and guard towers, oceans of mindless shooting, hilariously hilarious dubbing, and a ton of absurdity. This time around, the exploding hut scenario is married to a revenge plot, so that was a cool twist.  Ann Milhench, who plays Jack’s wife, was in the horrendous Sloane (1984), as well as Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985). Who knew?

As far as Jack’s super-gun, displayed prominently on the box art, it’s like one of those toys you might have had as a kid - that combination of guns that they would never make today. But at least it’s actually in the movie, however brief. Also as part of Jack’s revenge, he makes a souped-up car version of his old weapon (if that makes any sense). And watch out for the bad guy with the golden claw, as well as Harrison dressing up as a ninja for no explainable reason. I guess he can’t get enough of doing that. But the relative immaturity of Fireback is one of its more endearing qualities.

The many flashbacks and the “lost love” scenario, among other off-kilter elements, give Fireback a somewhat Italian feel, although no Italians were involved. The score is so booming and loud, it gets grating at times, and the dubbing, while entertaining in its own right, contains those voices you’ve heard many times before. Also, after the climax, there is a very stupid and unnecessary on-screen addendum telling us what happened to Jack Kaplan. Why they thought to add this, no one can say. Although Jack’s post-Fireback adventures are still a mystery to us all, so it didn’t even really help.

If you can’t get enough Filipino insanity, Fireback will fit the bill.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Robowar (1989)

Robowar (1989)-* * * *

Directed by: Bruno Mattei

Starring: Reb Brown, Cathrine Hickland, Max Laurel, and Jim Gaines












Major Murphy Black (Reb) and his team are sent into the jungles of the Philippines to track down and destroy a rogue robot.

Much has been made that this is just an Italian knockoff of Predator (1987) and Robocop (1987) (but especially Predator)...that’s all well and good, but, that aside, is this movie worth seeing? The answer is definitely yes! For a movie with almost no plot, it‘s surprisingly fast-paced, and rather than have a lot of dialogue, it’s mainly yelling and shooting machine guns. However, there are some gems, such as “You walk like a ruptured duck!”. Maybe something was lost in translation, but we’re sure glad it was. There are other silly one-liners, but this was our favorite.

Fan-favorite Reb Brown is out in force here - looking especially ripped in his child-size half-shirt, he gets to command his team with his trademark screams. But let’s not forget about the cool nicknames of the people he’s stranded in the jungle with - “Blood”, “The Hunter” and “Papa Doc”. Naturally, they were picked for this mission because they’re “The Best”. As for the robot, we get some pixelated “robo-vision”, and it seems like a guy in a motorcycle outfit. But he also has a confused, scrambled, “robo-voice” as well, which seems heavily influenced by Buck Rogers’ Twiki and his famous “bidi bidi bidi”. It doesn’t exactly inspire terror, but hey, who’s to say how we’d feel if we were in that situation?

As if this wasn’t awesome enough, the robot can shoot lasers. Of course, they’re of the “pew pew” variety! That alone raises the coolness quotient of this movie. And because this never received a VHS release in America (maybe they didn’t want to roll the dice with rights issues?), we were sadly deprived of this minor gem in the 80’s and 90’s. Honestly, it’s still pretty hard to find, presumably having been released largely in Japan and Italy, and we thank Sutekh over at Explosive Action for hooking us up with a copy.

If you ever wished Predator was an Italian-made Exploding Hut movie shot in the Philippines, and had a robot instead of a “Predator”, this is surely the movie for you. Featuring a great synth score by Al Festa and released in the golden year of 1989, Robowar is shameless...ly entertaining fun.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Phantom Soldiers (1987)

Phantom Soldiers (1987)-* * * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Max Thayer, Jack Yates, Corwin Sperry, Jim Gaines, David Light, Richard King, and Mike Monty

A big thank you to Sutekh from Explosive Action for providing us a copy! Here is a link to his review.




***500th Review***




During the Vietnam war, Green Beret Lt. Michael Custer (Sperry) and some of his fellow soldiers go MIA. Custer’s brother, Texas Ranger Dan Custer (Thayer) wants answers, so he travels to the border of North Vietnam. What the Custer brothers don’t know, is that they’re up against the Phantom Soldiers - terrifying, seemingly invincible, remorseless killing machines. They wear gas masks with weird protrusions and have heavy arms. They kill, destroy and explode everything in their path, and no one is safe. Can the Custers, or the entire U.S. Army for that matter, stop them? And where did they come from? What do they want? The secrets of the mysterious Phantom Soldiers will be revealed...




This is the ultimate Exploding Hut movie. You think you’ve seen exploding huts before? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Phantom Soldiers is a feast of massive explosions, constant shooting, guard tower falls and countless deaths. The opening sequence alone is mesmerizing and must be seen. Director Teddy Page was surely in a state of grace when he executed this brilliant sequence.

While the opening sequence is definitely a movie highlight, there’s still plenty of awesomeness on show for the rest of the film. Max Thayer, who must have it written into his contract that he won’t appear in a movie unless thousands of people die - remember this is the guy from No Dead Heroes (1986) - plays a Texas good ole boy with plenty of Dan Rather-style down-home expressions. Interestingly, Phantom Soldiers marries the over-the-top violence with an interesting concept, as well as subtle comments on war. That keeps it from becoming the mindless shooting we always see. Just a dash of originality goes a long way. You won’t forget the Phantom Soldiers.





A true cult rarity, Phantom Soldiers never received a VHS release in America, and as of this writing, has also not received a DVD release. More people stateside should know about this movie. People should have been talking about it since the 80’s, but it never entered our consciousness because in this country, it’s as “MIA” as Mike Custer.




Speaking of which, Sperry as Mike Custer resembles Sgt. Slaughter. No one really talks about Sgt. Slaughter anymore, which is a shame, and, seeing as how this movie is filled to the brim with 80’s awesomeness, the legendary wrestler was surely an influence. 

The funny acting/dialogue/dubbing we’ve come to love in these Philippines-shot productions is clearly on display, along with the ever-present high-quality blow-ups. The choice to name our heroes “Custer” has some interesting historical connotations - was this done on purpose? (Side Note: Hal Moore, the Vietnam hero immortalized in the film We Were Soldiers, headed up the First Battalion of the Seventh Cavalry, the same as George Armstrong Custer).




Nonstop action, ultra-violent in a Wardogs (1986) sort of way, and just plain badass in every manner imaginable, make sure you see Phantom Soldiers.
Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty