The Pandora Project (1998)

The Pandora Project (1998)- * * *

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Erika Elaniak, Tony Todd, Bo Jackson, and Richard Tyson

When William Stenwick (Tyson) steals a newfangled laser weapon from the military and attempts to sell it for big bucks on the black market, Captain John Lacy (Baldwin) snaps into action. CIA Director Houtman (Todd) chose Lacy for the "track down and stop Stenwick" mission because Lacy and Stenwick have a past. Former friends and now rivals, Lacy is now chasing Stenwick from Colombia to Los Angeles in order to retrieve the laser (i.e. "The Pandora Project"). Lacy is doubly under the gun because he's due to marry "GNN" news anchor Wendy Lane (Eleniak) in just a few days. Can he save the day in time to get to the chapel with his longtime love? Or will the Pandora Project destroy us all? Don't be too afraid to find out...

We know what you're thinking. The President of the United States is a character in this movie. Bo Jackson is in this movie. We regret to inform you that Bo Jackson does not play the President in The Pandora Project. We thought we'd get that out of the way right off the bat so no one's hopes got too high. Jackson plays a soldier named Manson who comes and goes so quickly, it's almost at Bear-level proportions.

But the good news is, we were pleasantly surprised by The Pandora Project. Rather than be yet another plane slog, there's actually very little dogfighting and plane footage in the film. It does fit fairly comfortably among its late-90's ilk, such as Desert Thunder (1999), Black Thunder (1998), Stealth Fighter (1999), Active Stealth (1999), Tactical Assault (1998), and Surface to Air (1998), etc., etc., etc. Some of the above may or may not have also starred Daniel Baldwin. But The Pandora Project is probably among the best of these types of these Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray-made DTV military outings that use footage from other movies (in this case it's Clear and Present Danger). In other words, it's not really a plane slog at all. The dialogue is a bit better than usual and there are some good characterizations by the B-actors we all know and love.


Richard Tyson is much more charismatic here than he usually is. He wears different Hawaiian shirts throughout the film, as well as a baseball cap. He's your classic wisecracking villain. In the beginning it seems like he commands a cadre of ninjas, but those are just his helpers in Delta Force-esque outfits. Most of the time, it's just Tyson as a solo baddie, which is more than enough this time around. The presence of Eleniak was welcome, as always, but she should have done more. Her part was a bit too small.

Tony Todd has a commanding presence and a voice that you really want to pay attention to. His name in the film, Houtman, is markedly similar to Trautman, and he always wants to know what the action man in the field, Lacy, is up to. Hmmm...


Speaking of Baldwin, he has a Corey Hart-esque spiky brush cut, and he gives hope to those among the population who may be a bit on the chunky side but who still want to get into the fight, be physical, and be the hero. Interestingly, his military code name in the film is Avatar. The planet that the movie Avatar (2009) takes place on is Pandora. Looks like a certain James Cameron was watching The Pandora Project.

Most of the fight/action scenes are very, very stupid (although in more-or-less a good way). The laser scenes are also pretty amusing, and the whole idea that the laser will kill someone, and instead of incinerating them into a pile of ashes, they're just lying there with their eyes closed without a scratch on them never failed to provide a few laffs.


In the end, The Pandora Project is one of the better - or, should we say, more entertaining - entries in this particular DTV subgenre. In other words, don't be afraid of watching it if you come across it. Be sure to stay tuned for the after-credits sequence as well.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Perfect Weapon (2016)

The Perfect Weapon (2016)- * * *

Directed by: Titus Paar

Starring: Johnny Messner, Sasha Jackson, Richard Tyson, Vernon Wells, and Steven Seagal

Axon Rey, code-named "Condor" (Messner), is a hitman who lets his silencer-laden guns do the talking. (Mostly what they say is "pew pew"). In the year 2029, we all live in a dystopian future controlled by The State. There is an underground freedom movement trying to disrupt the all-consuming central powers of our evil government. 

That's why The Controller (Tyson) runs Condor and tells him who to mercilessly kill. Haunted by memories of his lost love Nina (Jackson), Condor begins to question his life and his missions, which leads him down a road of no return. Naturally, the evil dictator is Steven Seagal as "The Director". What will become of Condor, and his status as THE PERFECT WEAPON?

Wait. Isn't there already a movie called The Perfect Weapon, starring a certain Jeff Speakman? You would think makers of action movies would know this, and pick a different title. How quickly have they forgotten "No Gun. No Knife. No Equal"? Anyway, get ready for Hitman (2007) meets Blade Runner (1982), DTV-style, with a sprinkling of Seagal added into the mix. 

After the near-countless production company logos that precede the film, we see a future where, in true Blade Runner style, giant electronic faces of Steven Seagal are illuminated on skyscrapers as he watches us all. This is not a future I want to be in.



Messner as Axon Rey, AKA Condor - not to be confused with Comdor from The Silencers (1996) - is strongly reminiscent of Mark Strong. At least he's a tough-guy hero and not a fey millennial as we've been seeing lately. Of course, there is the Prerequisite Torture of the hero, along with all the gun-shooting and beat-em-up action. 


Most importantly, though, he talks to his home personal assistant, which is a crystal/plastic pyramid like the one Evie talks to on Out of This World. While, on the whole, there is perhaps a bit too much of the romance subplot, which slows things down, we see why the filmmakers went that route. There's an actual reason but we won't give it away.



It was nice to see fan favorite Vernon G. Wells, but it was a missed opportunity to have him be in the cliched torturer role. He should have done something more interesting, like maybe punch Seagal in the face. Our old buddy Seagal isn't in the movie much overall, but it does seem that he has a strong southern accent in the beginning, but completely loses it at the end. He only does minimal Martial Arts, and it's at the final battle. He wears loose-fitting black robes. We'll just leave it at that.



The Perfect Weapon is in no sense original, but it is made well, especially for the budget. It's better than a lot of other DTV product out there, but once again there is an over-reliance on CGI when there needn't have been any at all. It's not overly long, which is more for the win column.



It won't change your life, but there are certainly worse ways to spend your time. 

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Also check out write-ups from our buddy, DTVC! and The Video Vacuum!

Death Kiss (2018)

Death Kiss (2018)- * * *

Directed by: Rene Perez

Starring: Robert Bronzi, Eva Hamilton, Richard Tyson, and Daniel Baldwin






A mysterious man known only as K (Bronzi) is cleaning up the streets. While he remains a stranger to everyone he comes into contact with, he looks oddly familiar. Maybe it's the face. Maybe it's the hair or the mustache. But something about him rings a bell. After he blows away the criminal scum that are polluting our streets, he gives money in an envelope to a woman named Ana (Hamilton), so she can help raise her wheelchair-bound daughter. While K tries to give them the money in anonymity, Ana tries to forge a relationship with K. But he's not exactly the chatty type.



Meanwhile, an evil baddie named Tyrell (Tyson) and his goons are on the loose. K faces one of his biggest challenges to date as he goes after them. Throughout all of this, a talk radio host, appropriately named Dan Forthright (Baldwin) electrifies the airwaves as he lays down truism after truism (we would definitely listen to the Dan Forthright show if it was in radio or podcast form). Remember, it's not a Death Wish, it's a DEATH KISS...which is, you know, pretty close.



By now, you may have heard of a man named Robert Kovacs (AKA Robert Bronzi) - a man who looks exactly like Charles Bronson. It must be hard for Bronzi to walk down the street, because if there's anyone out there who didn't know that Bronson passed away, you'd really think it was him. If he wasn't doing movies like Death Kiss, he could make a lot of money on the lookalike circuit. Maybe he could do parties with women who look like Marilyn Monroe and such. Just watching Bronzi walk in the movie is incredibly entertaining. Never mind when he starts shooting the baddies. Now, we always say that low-budget filmmakers get actors that resemble other actors (case in point when Counter Measures needed a Christopher Titus lookalike), but this is ridiculous! Ridiculously fun, that is. 

We applaud everyone involved with Death Kiss for making such a labor of love. Their love for the original Bronson (something we have to say now) and the Death Wish series in particular is evident, and infectious. Stylistically, Death Kiss is comparable to recent "throwback" DTV offerings like the similarly-themed Skin Traffik (2015), or Instant Death (2017). Those were also low-budget tributes to the 70's revenge genre. The bullet hits in Death Kiss are certainly over the top and ridiculous, with cascades of Kool-Aid exploding at every turn, which gives the film a certain comic-booky feel. Hopefully that's what they were going for. It's certainly quite unlike the original Death Wish film in that respect.



It was nice to see Baldwin and Tyson reunited for the first time since the underrated The Pandora Project (1998), although they don't share any scenes together. Tyson's look in the movie is quite different from most of his past work that we've seen, with his long dark hair and dark beard. He must have been proud of the project, as he's listed as an associate producer. This is also one of Baldwin's best roles in years; his very well-delivered monologues are very enjoyable and are the glue that holds Death Kiss together.



One of the biggest assets that Death Kiss has on its side is the wholly cool and highly appropriate synth score by The Darkest Machines (AKA director/writer/cinematographer/editor Perez). This is exactly the sort of score a movie like this should have. We were really happy they went in this direction for the score - an old-school style revenge movie with a man who looks uncannily like Charles Bronson topped off with a synth score is what the world needs now, and thankfully Perez and his cohorts gave it to us.



What's not to love about Death Kiss? We absolutely are looking forward to anything Bronzi does in the future. He very well could be one of the brightest stars of modern-day DTV.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Moscow Heat (2004)

Moscow Heat (2004)-* *

Directed by: Jeff Celentano

Starring: Michael York, Alexander Nevsky, Andrew Divoff, Adrian Paul, Robert Madrid, Joanna Pacula, and Richard Tyson










Roger Chambers (York) is a dashing former diplomat who loves fencing. His friend Rudy (Madrid) convinces him to take the trip to Moscow to try and track down the evil Nikolai Klimov (Tyson), who is responsible for the death of his son. While there, the Russian authorities figure out what they’re up to and they don’t like it. Hulking brute and police Captain Vlad Stepanov (Nevsky) ends up getting sucked into the quest to take down Klimov and his minions. With Rudy in the hospital, and Roger basically under arrest, it’s up to Vlad to try and win the day. Can he do it?

Moscow Heat is typical 2000’s DTV product. It has a junky look, some very unfortunate green-screen effects, obvious dubbing, stilted dialogue, and plenty of silly moments. It also looks much older than it is, it seems like it came out in the early 90’s. (The “bullet time” shot is very Sniper, 1993). The biggest lingering question seems to be why Michael York is involved.  Maybe he wanted a trip to Russia. Or maybe Alexander Nevsky has a lot of pull.

Alexander Nevsky, not to be confused with the medieval military hero and later Saint who lived from 1220 to 1263, or the 1938 Eisenstein film about him, THIS Alexander Nevsky apparently is a bodybuilder who co-wrote, co-produced and stars in his movies. At this rate, he could be the next Jorgo Ognenovski. But according to the back of the DVD box, “he could be the next Schwarzenegger!” Really the only thing they have in common is an impenetrable accent. (Though to be fair, there is a boat in the movie named “The Terminator”. Coincidence?) In this movie, it takes too long for him to snap into action. But he does get his prerequisite torture scene.

Richard Tyson plays the evil blonde guy (you know he’s evil because he’s blonde). Joanna Pacula has basically a sit-down role and should have done more. Same with Adrian Paul, who has very little screen time. Same thing again with Andrew Divoff. 

Characters play chess and drink vodka, and one of the baddies has a “Russia” jacket. On the one hand you want to get the Russian feel and atmosphere, but on the other hand you want to avoid cliches. So what can you do? But in the end we felt the whole experience was a bit dry and instead of Michael York futzing around, it should have been Nevsky mowing down baddies with a machine gun right from the jump. Unfortunately that’s not the case. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson and do that in the future.

The music by Richard John Baker features an electric guitar theme that is very reminiscent of the days of Genesis and Super Nintendo, further emphasizing the “this actually isn’t a movie from the 90’s” feel.

While we look forward to more producing/writing/acting or even directing from Nevsky, we felt Moscow Heat didn’t tap into his promise as a potential DTV star.


Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Lethal Force (2002)

Lethal Force (2002)-*

Directed by: James Dalthorp

Starring: Richard Tyson, Steven Owsley, Michelle Stafford, Willie Gault, and Robert Vaughn













Thomas Carruth (Tyson) is a Texas cop who laments the “old days” when law enforcement didn’t have so much red tape involved and there were less confining rules. So he goes rogue, becoming the judge, jury and executioner all on his own terms. Apparently this doesn’t sit right with go-getting attorney Renee Alexander (Stafford), who approaches fellow lawyer J.B. Thornton (Owsley) about building a case against Carruth. Even with the help of Eddie Mills (Gault), catching Carruth is not going to be easy. So they slowly, meticulously do it anyway. Will they catch this Carruthless character? Can they fight through the Carruption? Find out today! (Actually, don’t...)

You’d think a Direct-to-Video movie starring Richard Tyson and Robert Vaughn called Lethal Force would be a surefire winner. However, it’s not very lethal and has minimal force. However, that’s the Corman-released title (others were Cottonmouth and Silent Justice) - and it seems to be a cynically misleading ploy to get suckers like us to think this is an action movie. It’s actually a TV-style drama about two lawyers building their case against someone. It’s nothing you wouldn’t see on an episode of Law & Order - and it would probably be done better on a Law & Order episode. The main problem is, by far the best and most interesting character is Carruth, and there are huge stretches where he’s nowhere in sight. And they could have made him a lot more evil. The non-Carruth scenes have no edge or bite to them.

Carruth is a good role for Tyson, and we were wishing he would come back in a better movie. Incidentally, he resembles a cross between Martin Kove and Steven Bauer. Amazingly, this movie came out in 2002, but it looks like it’s from 1992. And seeing as how we were on Robert Vaughn watch, we noted how he doesn’t appear until 69 minutes into the movie. At that point it’s just a salvage job and it’s far beyond the powers of any actor to save the wreckage, but it seems Vaughn at least tried his best.

Sadly, Lethal Force is a dull, uninvolving legal drama that was cruelly mis-marketed as some kind of action movie. If you ever see this movie in any store, don’t take the bait. (Ty paid fifty cents at The Salvation Army for this on VHS - and that’s exactly where it’s going back). Let us act as guinea pigs for you. If you’re expecting action, avoid Lethal Force.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Desert Thunder (1999)

Desert Thunder (1999)-* *1\2

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Richard Tyson, Richard Portnow, and Ari Barak










Desert Thunder is a surprisingly enjoyable outing from Jim Wynorski. By the box art you would think it's a dry and serious affair. In fact, it is an upbeat and downright lighthearted experience.

Daniel Baldwin plays Lee Miller, a fighter pilot with a dark past. He is put in charge of assembling a team to fly to Iraq and stop a missile that will destroy a major city in Europe. The ragtag team are all outcasts from the military but Miller and his right hand man, Streets (Tyson) must unite them towards one common mission.



Besides Miller & Streets, the team, called "The Shadow Dancers" consists of: Burkett (Tim Abell), the hothead, Detolla, the silly chef who provides most of the comic relief, Jones, a record producer, Hasheem, A political refugee and computer nerd, and Malone, a woman who was involved in a military scandal.

Will they survive each other before they can take down the wacky Iraqis?

If you watched this in 1999 it would seem "ripped from the headlines". The evil Iraqis brag about stalling U.N. weapons inspections. They say the WMD's are hidden in the palaces "where the Americans can't touch them." This is a direct slam on Hans Blix. You got burned, Blix!

Daniel, one of the more underrated Baldwins, puts in an engaging performance. Miller calls people he doesn't know "Slappy" or "Sparky" and he is a compulsive gambler. Tyson is stoic as Miller's foil. They have to oversee the many training sequences, barroom brawls and food fights that pad out the running time.



It is suspected that 'Thunder contains stock footage, but this couldn't be definitively confirmed. Speaking of recycling, one pilot's airplane handle is "Eagle One", which is used in another Roger Corman production, The Hunt For Eagle One (2006).

Not only does Desert Thunder resemble the movie Top Gun (1986) but also the NES game "Top Gun", as shown in the Nintendo-type screen in the planes and the usage of the term "bogeys".

'Thunder contains all the clichés you know and enjoy, mixed together with an uplifting patriotic theme, some goofy humor and some explosions. It all adds up to a rousing good time!


Comeuppance Review by: Brett & Ty

Crusader (2005)

Crusader (2005) -* * *

Directed By: Bryan Goeres

Starring: Andrew McCarthy, Richard Tyson, Michael York, and Bo Derek










Crusader is another good film from Bryan Goeres. He's 4 for 4 because of this,Art Heist,(2002), Face Of Terror (2004), and Phase IV (2002).

The plot is about Hank Robinson (McCarthy) who is a reporter for a local news station in Spain. He inadvertently gets footage of a massacre at a powerful computer company. After that he is hired to be a top reporter for VisionTV run by Archie McGovern (York). Hank gets assigned other stories by Nicola (Derek) but the story that got him into the big time turns into a battle of deceit, double-crosses and murder.

Andrew McCarthy does a good job, Michael York puts in a fun performance and even Bo Derek is okay.

There's a lot of action and suspense to definitely warrant a rental.




Comeuppance Review by: Ty