New Crime City (1994)

 

New Crime City (1994)- * *

Directed by: Jonathan Winfrey

Starring: Rick Rossovich, Rick Dean, Sherrie Rose and Stacy Keach

In the year 2020 - the future - crime is so rampant in Los Angeles that a huge section is cordoned off and dubbed "Crime City". Naturally, no one wants to go there, but Anthony Ricks (Rossovich) has to, because he's "The Best". At least that's what Police Chief Wynorski (Keach) calls him. After staging a mock execution for Ricks, presumably so he can be, in the eyes of the public, "dead", Wynorski gives him the task of infiltrating Crime City to stop the evil Ironhead (Dean) from unleashing a virus on the city. If he can get an antidote as well, so much the better. Along the way, he meets Darla (Rose), and the two of them face many trials and tribulations on the road to the ultimate confrontation with Ironhead. With the odds stacked against them, will they ever survive NEW CRIME CITY?


New Crime City (which we initially thought was called New Crime City: Los Angeles 2020, but apparently that's just the tagline on the VHS box) is yet another Roger Corman attempt to make Escape From New York (1981) with no budget. Much like Future Kick (1991), Bloodfist 2050 (2005), Dragon Fire (1993), and others, we have our heroes fighting their way through a "futuristic" wasteland on the way to their ultimate goal. These obstacles include, but are not limited to, going to a creepy monastery, Punchfighting, Punchfighting with electrical doohickeys that shock your opponent, and jousting while on dune buggies of some sort. Just like we do in 2020.

Hero Rick Rossovich looks like if Harland Williams was a Baldwin brother. He gives a monotone, monosyllabic performance that is truly Ron Marchini-esque. It's also pretty funny. He comes off as possibly a jerk (?) but the audience doesn't hate him. But they never really grow to like him either. By comparison, Rick Dean as Ironhead puts in a Jim Carrey-like portrayal, so the audience really does hate him. It was the 90's, after all, and Jim Carrey was hot. The box art makes Rossovich look like some kind of robot. He's not. Like us, he's just a man.


It's clear that the makers of Doomsday (2008) must have seen this movie, because the character of Juice (Ross) must have been an influence on that film. We were very happy that fan favorite Sherrie Rose was one of the leads here. She helps a lot in maintaining audience interest. We never really warm to her character either, but at least it's Sherrie Rose. She puts a lot of good energy in, and that was nice to see.


Stacy Keach's role is small but he helps things too. His character name, Wynorski, is a not-so-subtle nod to Jim, who has ties to Corman. Keach has some sort of indefinable accent that presumably is meant to make him seem sinister. Both Rick Rossovich and director Jonathan Winfrey worked with Keach again on the 90's Mike Hammer TV series. The experience of working on New Crime City together must have really bonded them.


Winfrey would go on to direct both Excessive Force II: Force on Force and Bloodfist VII: Manhunt the next year after this, in 1995. Apparently, New Crime City was shot in Peru. That might explain certain things, including the soundtrack and on-screen appearance of a Spanish-language band labeled in the credits as Frangio Antich & "Los Perros", but are known as simply Los Perros in their native country. Apparently these guys were a pretty big band in Peru, and they supported Ian Gillan on his Peruvian tour in 1992.


New Crime City has some amusing moments, but it's not exactly required viewing. It probably sat on a lot of video store shelves back in the 90's. Only fans of the Corman assembly line that made these sorts of things would be interested in going out of their way to see it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Silk (1986)

Silk (1986)- * * *

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Cec Verrell, Bill McLaughlin, Joe Mari Avellana and Nick Nicholson












Jenny “Silk” Sleighton (Verrell) is a tough, fearless cop on the Honolulu, Hawaii police force. She stops at nothing to get her man. Whether it’s foiling drug deals, stopping smuggling operations or breaking up cockfights, baddies on every island from Niihau to Kaunakakai to Kahoolawe to the Alenuihaha channel are facing her wrath. When she’s kidnapped by arch super-villain Austin (Shilton), she’s going to need help from her compatriots...but who can she really trust? Find out today!

Silk gets off to a very silly start, with cop movie/TV show cliches galore (someone really needs to invent a word that means “a cliche but with no negative connotation; in fact, you want and even need to see this cliche”. No such word exists in English that we’re aware of. If you have any ideas, please leave a comment today). 

Cec Verrell as Silk is amazing. She’s a beautiful woman in that classically 80’s style, with a smoky bedroom voice, and she always has her hair slicked back and is wearing designer clothes. But no one ever questions why one of the models from behind Robert Palmer in the “Addicted To Love” video is now a cop. (Not literally as far as we know, but it very well could be). The fact that this absurdity is never once brought up makes watching Silk a delight.

The fact that Silk is a woman doesn’t change all the myriad cliches one bit. But we’re just happy this Cirio movie isn’t yet another jungle slog. Plus it has all the Philippines-based B-actors we know and love at this point: Nick Nicholson plays another heavy, Mike Monty is on board again, as is Willie Williams, Jose Mari Avellana, Henry Strzalkowski, and naturally, Vic Diaz. 

The extras in the movie are great too, and the dubbing ties it all together. The guitar-based soundtrack by Willie Cruz keeps the energy up, and there is a truly excellent title song which sounds like if Pat Benatar joined Jem and the Holograms. In a true travesty, we do not know who performs this memorable tune. If anyone out there knows, do tell.

Styles were so cool back then, even teddy bears had sunglasses and mustaches. But besides that, we’re always on the lookout for when video stores pop up in movies, and in Silk, we see one in a mall. There’s even a poster for Ark Of the Sun God (1984), the Margheriti movie, which can be clearly seen. 

In the end, Silk is an enjoyable (probably) one-time watch, because nothing in it really sticks to the ribs. We would like to see more Cec Verrell as Silk, but by the time of Silk 2 (1989) (yes, there’s a Silk two), apparently she’d had enough and was replaced by Monique Gabrielle. She never came back to reprise the role like Sean Connery. But for video-store action with a strong and interesting female presence, it’s certainly worth a view.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, Lost Video Archive and Cool Target!

Silk 2 (1989)

Silk 2 (1989)-* * *

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Monique Gabrielle, Peter Nelson, Jan Merlin, and Maria Claire 












Jenny “Silk” Sleighton (this time, Gabrielle) is back for this second and final installment. For this outing, the beautiful and tough Hawaii cop is out to bring down criminal mastermind Hancock Gish (Merlin), the interestingly-named art enthusiast whose goal is to steal precious, ancient Japanese scrolls. Silk ends up meeting a spunky tourist, Holly (Claire) and a guy who really hates art forgery, Tony (Nelson) and the three unlikely allies end up working together to stop Gish. In the meantime, Silk does what she does best, take down baddies in her own inimitable way. Will they succeed?

It was a surprise to us too, but, yes, there is, in fact, a Silk 2. Apparently the first one was enough of a success to spawn a sequel, but not successful enough for Cec Verrell, the original Silk. Why they didn’t make it a trilogy remains unknown. 

The by-now-well-known Monique Gabrielle steps in, and does a fine job. Her completely wooden, flat affect is a lot of fun to watch, and her outfits, such as an acid-washed jean jacket and matching skirt (or is it stone wash? Not really sure...) complement her beauty nicely and firmly place this movie in the 80’s. It came out in the video store golden year of 1989 - as if to prove the fact that the video store was booming then, Silk 2 is the first of FIVE movies that star Peter Nelson appeared in just that year.

 Once again, none of the other characters comment on the seeming misplacement of Jenny Sleighton on the police force, which is good, and the combination shower scene/fight scene is without a doubt a movie highlight.

There are plenty of classic cliches that we now know and love, such as the time-honored Wacky Taxi Driver, among many others. It all adds to the sense of fun. Like we’re always talking about, the word “cliche” need not have a negative connotation. 

And since this is a Corman production, there are plenty of connections to be made, such as: Sally Mattison is credited as Associate Producer, and she was the director of Slumber Party Massacre III (1990), which featured Silk 2’s Maria Claire. Claire only had a small handful of roles, which is sad, because she has a very winning look and personality. She also chose interesting roles, because besides the two already mentioned, she was in Society (1989), once again a 1989 classic. As far as other cast members go, Avellana plays a guy named Kashi, and based on this we assumed his last name was “Go Lean Crunch”. I think we were wrong.

The movie has a great opening...in fact, it’s the same opening sequence as Silk 1. (This time it’s Arab terrorists, and Monique Gabrielle is fighting them, but still, it’s the same). We still need to see that Silk is a woman of action who takes no prisoners, so...here we go again! Silk 2 is filled with dumb, seemingly random scenes, but it has a lot of blow-ups, stunts, and shooting, with the classic Cirio touch. Whether that’s a good thing or not is only for you to decide. But there are some cool keyboards on the soundtrack, and with an impressively accessible running time of 75 minutes (and that includes credits!), there’s really no reason to avoid Silk 2.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Blackbelt II: Fatal Force (1993)

Blackbelt II (1993)-* *
AKA: Spyder

Directed by: Joe Mari Avellena and Kevin Trent

Starring: Blake Bahner, Henry Strzalkowski, Vic Diaz, Paul Holme, Louie Del Castillo, and John Dulaney










Brad Spyder (Bahner) is an L.A. cop with an attitude problem. He must travel to Hawaii to investigate the death of a partner. His “punch first and ask questions later and then punch them again” style means he encounters resistance from the local cops, led by Akida (Diaz). There’s also some nonsensical mumbo-jumbo about Vietnam and POW’s that was only put in because of the piecemeal patchwork that this is...

Technically speaking, we’re not entirely sure this is even a movie. By any rational standard, editing, splicing, and re-ordering film footage doesn’t necessarily make a film, much less a coherent piece of entertainment. The editors here get an A for effort, as they try desperately to make disparate footage fit together, but it’s like trying to join two puzzle pieces together that clearly don’t fit.

Going from L.A. to Hawaii to Vietnam, to a Vietnam that’s supposed to be Hawaii, we get some narration about Vietnam, then some urban cop action with Bahner, then it reverts back to an Exploding Hut jungle movie, and on and on. There’s zero character development along the way, so you cannot become invested at all in what’s going on. Rather than introduce the slightest bit of character for Brad Spyder (aside from his awesome name), the movie just jumps into an overly-long, protracted punching sequence on top of a building. Then there’s the amazingly cliched Irish police chief O’Donnel (Dulaney) - actually a lot of this movie could be a parody.

Bahner yells all his lines, and resembles Andrew Dice Clay (who had a brief action movie career of his own). Presumably Roger Corman felt he could put out this mishmash as some sort of “sequel” to the Don the Dragon movie Blackbelt (1992), seeing as it follows the formula of being 80 minutes and having at least Bahner’s credit also include his kickboxing title underneath it. Firstly, Bahner is no Don the Dragon, but perhaps he’s not supposed to be. 

Corman caught lightning in a bottle with one action star, and he tried again and basically failed. Secondly, releasing this hodgepodge to the public is actually insulting to our intelligence. Did he, or anyone else, not think we would notice all the glaring Frankenstein-like parts to this?

Blackbelt 2 could have used another B-movie name in the cast (aside from the ubiquitous Vic Diaz), or a rockin’ song, or a scintilla of coherence or cohesion - anything except falling back on references to the First Blood series, which it does. But on the bright side it does have a rich businessman named Roderick Pendleton (Holme) and a character named Weasel (Louie Del Castillo), whose hair and mustache out-Oates-es Oates. His entire film career consists of this, the “movie” Spyder, from which the footage for this was taken, and Saigon Commandos (1988). Now that’s a career to be proud of. 

Now might also be an opportune time to mention that there’s always an annoying character named Squid, Spud, Baby, Weasel, or what-have-you. Feel free to write a comment if you can think of another example.

Seeing as this footage (is it really a movie?) consists of nothing, you can’t help but regard it as a waste of time. Sad really, as the name Brad Spyder deserves more.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Nam Angels (1989)

Nam Angels (1989)-* * *

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Brad Johnson, Rick Dean, and Vernon G. Wells 











During the Vietnam war, Lt. Calhoun’s (Johnson) men are taken prisoner by a tribal group run by “A mysterious white man” who is also a “round-eye”, named, oddly, Chard (Wells). The top brass considers the trapped men “expendable” but Johnson does the only logical thing: he recruits four Hell’s Angels for a five-day mission and bribes them with millions of dollars of gold dust hidden in the hills of ‘Nam. All they have to do is help Calhoun rescue his men. The ‘Angels reluctantly agree, and there is some trouble and strife along the way, but a badass from West Texas who fights with a lasso and sawed-off shotgun (that would be Calhoun), teaming up with some tough biker dudes is going to be a double-team that will prove tough to beat. Will Calhoun’s gamble work?

At first, this Cirio movie seems to be yet another Vietnam/jungle slog that seems very familiar. But once the bikers come into the equation, things change for the better and you realize that you should be giving the filmmakers points for originality. It was only natural: take two exploitation genres - the (Vietnam) War movie and the Biker movie, and simply find a way to mash them together and make it work. Thankfully, it does, and Roger Corman can put this one in his win column.

Brad Johnson looks like a young Tom Berenger, but this isn’t exactly Platoon (1986). Vernon G. Wells is properly evil, especially with his ponytail. Amidst the classic barfights and “pew-pew!” shooting scenes, at least on the Corman-released DVD we saw, we noticed some odd editing. It looked like the opening credits and perhaps some other scenes were re-edited for this DVD release. We can’t confirm this, and it’s doubtful they cut out anything good, but it would be interesting to see a different print.

If you read our Operation Warzone (1988) review, you’ll remember how we discussed that movie’s highly inappropriate soundtrack, with 80’s synthesizers blaring in ‘Nam. Well, Nam Angels falls into that same trap. But if you’re looking for logic, why are you watching this movie in the first place?  There are a lot of nonsensical things going on here, from the plot itself to the John Milton quote at the end. But bikers poppin’ wheelies in the jungles of ‘Nam is cool enough to make up for it.

Nam Angels is worth checking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Blackbelt (1992)

Blackbelt (1992)-* * *

Directed by: Charles Phillip Moore and Rick Jacobson

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Deirdre Imershein, Alan Blumenfeld, Richard Beymer, Ian Jacklin, and Matthias Hues

Jack Dillon (The Dragon) is an ex-cop turned martial arts instructor. He also does favors on the side for people that need help but can’t exactly go to the cops. When up-and-coming singing star Shanna (Imershein) receives a severed finger in a box, she turns to Dillon for help. Shanna has other problems as well, as her “backer” is mobster Eddie Deangelo (Beymer). He’s pressuring her to sign a new contract with him, and she doesn’t want to. Naturally Deangelo focuses all his rage (and goons) on Jack Dillon, her new protector. Amidst fighting his way through the underworld to protect Shanna, Jack discovers that insane, murderous, psychopathic ex-mercenary killer John Sweet (Hues) is behind all the mayhem. Only a confrontation between Dillon and Sweet will determine the fate of Shanna, among other people. Who will win?

As this is a Corman production, it seems he wanted to go with the Bloodfist formula of having real-life martial artists in the cast, and with their screen credit along with their name is their fighting title. Also it’s 80 minutes, so right there we see the formula. But Blackbelt is truly Don “The Dragon” Wilson at his best. His lovably wooden performances are here in full, but he gets a ton of great lines (pretty much all of them, and they’re almost all snappy one-liners). Wilson worked on the fight choreography, and in true early-90’s fashion, the violence is simultaneously brutal and, at times, very funny. Both his, as well as Matthias Hues’ entrances are both great and it’s a treat to see them together, and their final fight doesn’t disappoint.

Hues also puts in a career-best performance as the Psycho (1960)-inspired Oedipal bad guy. Sure, Hues is always the baddie, but here he shows some depth as the ironically-named Sweet. Also, according to the plot, his blows are powerful enough to kill people. And his yells and grunts are priceless.

Naturally, in a classic cliche, Dillon and Deangelo “go way back” - and it should be noted that even though Dillon isn’t officially on the force, he has a partner, Sturges (Blumenfeld). There really should have been a Dillon and Sturges TV show. It would have been a great cop drama - the classic, dedicated but pudgy cop and the Karate-fighting ex-cop solving crimes. What’s really criminal is that this was never made. But at least we have Blackbelt. (However, that title is somewhat misleading, as Dillon’s, nor anyone else’s) belt level is ever talked about, much less fought over.

Not to be insulting to Miss Imershein, but the role of Shanna should have gone to someone just a little bit hotter, perhaps Wilson’s Ring of Fire (1991) co-star and frequent Corman starlet Maria Ford. Then their relationship would have been more believable. But watch out for the posters of Shanna gracing the cover of “Rock” magazine (not meant to look like Spin, surely), along with Pearl Jam. Hey, it was 1992 after all. But all her accolades are certainly deserved once you see her perform the song “Love Rocket” - along with the background dancers who are so comatose they make Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love” girls look like a row of Rip Taylors on speed.

As for the VHS box: The story for the movie was co-written by Neva Friedenn (who also wrote for other Wilson vehicles) - and on the cover there is a quote: “The most action packed, sexiest kickboxing movie ever made!!” Note the two exclamation points. And guess who the quote is attributed to? Yes, Neva Friedenn! You can tout your own productions on their VHS boxes like that? Who knew? Additionally, they misspell “Matthias” when talking about the mighty Hues. Just shameful, really.

It should also be noted that Ian Jacklin is in this movie for about one second. Despite that, this movie is still worth seeing, as it is an entertaining romp from the golden age with two of the genre’s most beloved stars. What’s not to like?

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Annihilators (1985)

The Annihilators (1985)-* * *

Directed by: Charles E. Sellier Jr.

Starring: Christopher Stone, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, Dennis Redfield, Andy Wood, and Gerrit Graham



"They fought for their country. Now, They're fighting for their friends."

Starting off in the jungles of Vietnam, we are introduced to a “band of brothers” consisting of  Bill Eckert (Stone), Garrett (LHJ), Ray (Graham), Joe (Redfield), and Woody (Wood). After some shooting and explosions confirming that these guys are an elite fighting unit, the text on the screen then informs us: ATLANTA NOW. It seems the town of South Point, Georgia is now a depressing slum. Rival gangs control the town and keep it in a grip of fear. They shake down what local businesses are left for protection money. The gangs The Turks and The Scorpions are bad, but for pure evil, no one beats Roy Boy Jagger and The Rollers. (It has yet to be verified if they opened for John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band on one of their tours).

When, in the midst of an armed robbery, said Rollers kill Joe, Bill rallies the old unit back together to clean up the streets of South Point. They use their military techniques and camaraderie to not just expel the gangs, but bring hope back to the community. By that, they obviously mean teaching elderly men and confused waitresses martial arts. Will these heroes defeat Roy Boy and get revenge for their fallen comrade?

The Annihilators (great title) is pure 80’s fun from start to finish. It is enjoyable the whole time - this is the type of movie that’s best experienced with a group of friends who are in a good mood. (If you’re not, it will put you in one). The movie seems to be attempting a marriage of two successful action movie sub-genres: the Vietnam shoot-em-up and the urban revenge thriller. The results are humorous. The whole “reunite the old Vietnam war crew to get revenge” was seen in the also-hilarious Kill Squad (1982). What is it about this plot that allows for such laughs? The movie tends toward optimism - only in the 80’s could the message of “believe in your dreams” be tied so closely with flamethrowers and shooting people in the face without a hint of irony. You gotta love it.

Gerrit Graham plays the comic relief jokester, LHJ, in a pretty early role, gets the best Karate moves in the film, along with a memorable neck-snap. Naturally, the heroes are fighting a panoply of middle-aged punks. In the 80’s, it seemed to become a ne’er-do-well later in life was more accepted. The whole “store owners fighting back” angle was a lot of fun and had a Bums (1993) feel. Paul Koslo as Roy Boy is very impressive. He’s a sort of demented Patrick Swayze that goes far off the rails. His performance is inspired and worth seeing.

On the technical side, the opening credits all have a gunshot noise that gets you into the spirit quickly, the music is great in its own way, and the newspaper reads “Vigilantes In South Point”. The box art is very cool, if not entirely representative of the movie itself. There’s no “Annihilator” in the movie that wears a Jason mask, and they mistakenly call the antagonist Roy Boy Jessup. Apparently both the artist and the writer were allowed to just make stuff up. Keep in mind this is a New World tape (Corman for those who don’t know).

Overwhelming silliness ensues - in the best possible way - when you put on The Annihilators. Recommended.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Hour Of The Assassin (1987)

Hour Of The Assassin (1987)-* *

Directed by: Luis Llosa

Starring: Erik Estrada, Francisco Giraldo, and Robert Vaughn

Martin Fierro (Estrada) is hired by some generals to assassinate the new president of the South American country of San Pedro, Roberto Villaverde (Giraldo). They convince him to do this by playing to his sympathies regarding his father, a man assassinated by these very same generals, although Fierro doesn’t know that. According to them, his father was “leftist scum” (which they say behind Fierro’s back, of course). Fierro has his work cut out for him, except for one thing: ex-CIA operative Sam Merrick (Vaughn), who is tracking Fierro and intent on stopping the assassination. It’s a race against time - who will come out victorious?

It’s yet another “El Presidente” movie - A South America-set film about rebels in the streets versus the political establishment. This plotline was more prevalent in video stores than you might think - Cocaine Wars (1985), McBain (1991), Perfect Target (1997) and the latest example, The Expendables (2010). The plot is extremely simple - it’s Vaughn chasing Estrada for over 90 minutes - so after an exciting opening chase sequence and the setup of the plot, the middle section drags heavily. It’s natural that this would happen with such minimal plot. A few interestingly-lit sequences are not enough to solve this problem.

The movie does deliver some standard chases and shooting, but the roles for both Estrada and Vaughn are a little different than usual. The tone is downbeat, serious and low-key. Estrada doesn’t play bad-guy assassin roles too often, and how often do you see “Control 5” himself, Robert Vaughn, at least at the age he was when he shot this movie, running around South America playing the action star?  Of course, Vaughn’s “hair” is odd and is constantly changing from scene to scene, and, like Chris Lemmon in Firehead (1991), whose catchphrase was the ever-present “Jesus Christ!”, here Robert Vaughn utters the word “Bastard!” every other scene. 

This was a Corman production, released in the U.S. in the always cool MGM/UA big-box. Director Luis Llosa shot the film in his native Peru and there are some nice locations. He later had some mainstream hits with Anaconda (1997), the Stallone vehicle The Specialist (1994) and the classic Tom Berenger Sniper (1993). He’s also responsible for the Corman David Carradine film Crime Zone (1989). This was his first cinematic foray, and it’s not bad, it’s just standard, and even tends toward boring at times.

This is the perfect example of video store shelf-filler that, yes, has cool box art and all, but will underwhelm you. It makes true gems like Deadly Prey (1987) stand out all the more.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Bloodfist III: Forced To Fight (1992)

Bloodfist III: Forced To Fight (1992)-* * *

Directed by: Oley Sassone

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Richard Roundtree, Rick Dean, and John Cardone








Jimmy Boland (Wilson) is in prison after a barfight gone wrong. Now in prison, he fights a guy named Luther because he raped his friend and Luther dies because of it. Now the Black gangs on the inside want to kill Jimmy. The White racists welcome him into their camp, but Jimmy refuses. Now he’s got two prison gangs out for his blood, and, being the loner that he is, Jimmy Boland is...forced to fight! Jimmy is put in a cell with the intellectual and respected (by most) Stark (Roundtree) and they become buddies. Also, the pedophile Diddler (Cardone) is portrayed as sympathetic and he and Jimmy also forge an uneasy friendship. Seeing as Wingate State Penitentiary is considered to be a state-of-the-art facility, the higher-ups are hushing up a lot of the corruption and misdoings. As alliances on both the inside and outside are constantly shifting, will Jimmy be able to expose the truth and fight his way to freedom?

Bloodfist 3: Forced to Fight was the first in the Bloodfist series not to be connected to the first two. It really should have been called simply Forced to Fight, but the ever-crafty Roger Corman must have thought they should unnecessarily slap the Bloodfist moniker on it just to be safe. Seeing as how this movie actually went to the theater but tanked, it was the final theatrically-released Bloodfist film. The fact that three made it to the theater is still impressive.

Truly this is Don the Dragon’s Death Warrant, and he carries it off in his own inimitable way. The filmmakers seemingly really tried to make him look like Lou Diamond Phillips this time around. Much like how Frank Zagarino was meant to resemble Dolph Lundgren in Armstrong. But it’s really not needed, The Dragon stands on his own. For this movie, they actually got another name, Richard Roundtree. His role is substantial and he acquits himself well in what is really an ensemble film. 

Then again, he was competing directly against French Fry (Callahan) and Weird Willy (Schott) so all bets are off. But he took the role seriously, which is good. Peter “Sugarfoot” Cunningham of Above the Law (1986) fame is here as an inmate named Champ. Though he’s not credited in the film, we strongly believe Ian Jacklin is on board as well, as one of the Aryans, or, as they call themselves, “Scooter Trash”. I know, I don’t get it either.

The movie is entertaining, and, for its kind, surprisingly well-written. There was an attempt to be serious here and deal with real issues. We felt that was done well and an interesting change of pace. The pace was to be changed once again with the fourth Bloodfist film, whose tone is much lighter. 

The tradition of the actor/fighter’s championship titles appearing along with their credit is maintained, Eric Lee helped with the fight coordination, and the Michael Elliott score is worth pointing out as well. Also, for movie night, the prisoners all watch TNT Jackson (1974). That probably wouldn’t occur today. In actuality, a lot of the prison scenarios here aren’t completely realistic. But hey, Wingate is a new kind of prison.

This Don the Dragon prison film under the Bloodfist banner is worth seeing.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Bloodfist (1989)

Bloodfist (1989)-* * *

Directed by: Terence H. Winkless

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Joe Mari Avellana, Rob Kamen, Cris Aguilar, Marilyn Bautista, and Billy Blanks











Jake Raye (Wilson) is an L.A. area kickboxing instructor. A lot of his time is spent regaling elementary school kids with tales of his missing kidney, which he generously gave to his beloved brother, who is also a fighter. When it is discovered that Jake’s brother has been killed because of shady dealings involving not taking a dive in underground punchfighting deathmatches, Jake goes to Manila to investigate.

Now a man lost in a strange land, he meets up with Kwong (Avellana), a wise old trainer. Kwong informs him of The Red Fist, a secret fighting society that holds the said deathmatches, called Ta Chang.  They hold yearly tournaments, that, according to Kwong, have “no rounds, no rules, no referees and no points”. Despite his kidney ailments, Jake must enter the tournament in order to get answers about his brother’s killer. So Kwong trains him, and Baby (Shaner), the “wacky” fighter, helps him out as well. There’s also the love interest, Baby’s sister Nancy (Bowman), and the token “mini-boss” fighter Black Rose (Blanks). Will Jake Raye kick and punch his way to the truth?

Hey, everyone has their own methods of getting answers. Columbo has questions, and Jake Raye has roundhouse kicks. Produced by Roger Corman, there, inexplicably, are nine Bloodfist movies. Only the first two have any connection to each other as The Dragon returns in the sequel as Jake Raye. But apparently this series has legs, whether the supposed sequels were in-name only or not. Looking through our local video store, we always noticed Bloodfist, mainly because of the title. We thought it was kind of silly, as if action movie makers have a list of prescribed words they must use to make a title. The list may go as follows:

Blood
Kick
Punch
Cage
Fist
Fight/Fighter
Death
Rage
Terminal
Extreme
Force
Impact
Maximum
Best
Match
Sport

We are announcing two new action movies to go into production: “Bloodpunch”, "Death Cage" and  “KickPuncher” (Which is also the name of the Robocop parody on "Community"). If you have any more words to add to this tentative list, please write in and leave a comment today.

Back to the Bloodfist, The Dragon is always watchable, and you like him as Jake, the good-natured fighter. Vic Diaz, who has been in every Filipino movie ever made, plays the policeman who hands Jake his brother’s ashes in a vase. I guess they cremate first and ask questions later. Joe Mari Avellana, a familiar face around these parts, is perfect as the wise elder who puts Jake through his rigorous training. A movie like this wouldn’t be complete without training sequences. Lastly there’s Billy Blanks in an early role just bein’ Billy. (Just Bein’ Billy should the name for an upcoming sitcom featuring Blanks).

 

The big selling point of Bloodfist is its use of actual fighters, and their official titles and/or ranks appear on screen along with their names in the credits. This was just as important as who they are. While harsher  reviewers might call this nothing more than a Corman knockoff of Kickboxer (1989) or Bloodsport (1988), cooler heads should prevail and realize most DTV punchfighting product is all cut from pretty much the same cloth. Some are better than others. Bloodfist might not be the absolute best of the bunch, but it’s nowhere near the worst. It’s a fairly early entry into the punchfighting sweepstakes, and some sort of attempt was made to make it entertaining, what with the actual plot developments/twists, etc.

For its classic (or near-classic) status alone, Bloodfist is worth seeking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Protector (1999)

The Protector (1999)-* *

Directed by: Bret McCormick

Starring: Ed Marinaro, Kate Rodger, Cyril O'Reilly, and Lee Majors





"When the Law Fails to Protect and Serve, He Takes Over!"








Following in the vein of the recently-reviewed Keaton's Cop (1988), here we have another "elderly actioner" featuring Lee Majors. Thankfully, here he seems to have lost some weight and the subject matter is somewhat less silly.

Following a ridiculous credits sequence that leads the viewer to believe this is going to be a new Lawnmower Man (1992), we are introduced to one John Templeton (code name: "Gabriel"), (Marinaro), a mercenary of some kind whose beloved wife was killed while he was away on a mission. Thankfully he has a talking computer named Gertrude who helps him through all of his troubles, and pretty soon it's "VR Marinaro" as he dons his Virtual Reality sunglasses which look like, appropriately, those big sunglasses old people wear. In true Robocop (1987) fashion, he revisits, through flashbacks, all the good times he had with his wife. After her murder, Gabriel formed his underground command center to help women in trouble from stalkers and scumbags everywhere. Think "super hero" meets Kick Or Die (1987) meets your grandparents.

Meanwhile, we are introduced to the relationship drama between Alex Johnson (Rodger) and Tony Angeleno (O'Reilly). Typically, at first Tony seems to be a great guy, but it is soon revealed he is an obsessive, psychopathic mobster. Isn't that always the way? So when Tony begins not just harassing Alex himself, but getting his gangster buddies to do his relationship legwork with Alex - and it spins horribly out of control with the senseless murder of Bob Newman (Christopher Heldman) - only one man in an all-green sweatsuit can come to the rescue - John Templeton of course! So "Gabriel" takes Alex under his wing, and as he's hiding her away in his abandoned warehouse/command center, he's also teaching her self-defense, how to shoot guns, and of course, the ways of love.

But a new wrinkle occurs when the gangsters hire Austin (Majors) to bump off Templeton. It seems they have a history together when they both did missions for the government. So now it's gangsters and former work associates vs. The Protector and Alex. Who will prevail?

Not just the front of the VHS box (a New World/Roger Corman release), but also the SPINE of the box (both sides) tout that ED MARINARO is involved. I guess they were really proud of this fact. Perhaps Robert Blake was not available. Not to disparage the man, of course. He acquits himself well in this low-budget and fairly strange movie. He must compete with Cyril O'Reilly as Angeleno, whose voice sounds exactly like Christian Slater's. Close your eyes and you could pretend Slater is the baddie in this movie. But then you'd miss all the "awesome" VR action. When there's a credit at the end of the movie "VR suit provided by Lone Star Scuba", you know you have a low budget production. Yes, the movie was shot in Texas, and yes, the VR suit looks like a scuba suit bedazzled with bottlecaps and twine, but why call undue attention to it?

He also had to compete against Lee Majors, of whom there is precious little in the film. The filmmakers thought it would be wiser to spend most of the running time on Italian stereotype gangsters.

When we watched the horrendous Digital Man (1995), we thought that would be the only time we would ever use the term "Virtual Ninjas". Well, we were pleasantly surprised when said ninjas appeared in The Protector. Now the phrase to beat is "Movie with a talking computer named Gertrude that has Virtual Ninjas and Ed Marinaro." It's not likely to appear as an answer on Jeopardy! anytime soon, sadly.

Thanks to some funny music stings on the soundtrack, homemade inventions like the VR setup and the "handprint" you need to get into the command center (do you honestly think John Templeton would use something as banal as keys?), A mob henchman that looks like Willard Scott (most of the cast looks like they're going to appear on a jar of Smuckers on the Today Show themselves), and a short 80 minute running time, The Protector is tolerable, but won't knock your socks off.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

To purchase the poster click here

Raiders Of The Sun (1992)

Raiders Of The Sun (1992)-* *

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Richard Norton, Ned Hourani, Nick Nicholson, Brigitta Stenberg and Rick Dean



"They Don't Take Prisoners....THEY TAKE LIVES."









Brodie (Norton) is a warrior in a post-apocalyptic world. He works for the Alpha League, a democratic society trying to keep the madness and the roving bands of scavengers at bay. The leader of the bad guys, Clay (William Steis), is a traitor to the Alpha League cause. Since there is constant shooting between the factions, it is discovered that there is a shortage of gunpowder in this barren world, and whoever finds any will rule the wastelands. So the Alpha League sends Brodie in search of the now-precious material. Along the way, he falls in love with a native, mountain girl named Sierra (Lani Lobangco). The primitive society she comes from, of course, has a mine full of gunpowder. They use it for religious ceremonies. Oh, and most of the people in the mountain village are midgets. The baddies just want to plunder it all but now Brodie and his midget army must defend the mine. Meanwhile, the warrior Talbot (Blake Boyd) wants to get back to his wife Vera (Stenberg), but she's kidnapped by the baddies and jailed. Will they reunite? Will the good guys get the gunpowder? Why is this all happening...again?

I'm not sure if it should be applauded or condemned that they were still making Mad Max (1979) knockoffs in the 90's. This Corman production left it in the capable hands of mainstay Cirio Santiago, and I suppose that's the wisest possible decision under the circumstances. He does a competent job, nothing great. If Richard Norton wasn't involved, this would be a real slog. He doesn't do a ton of martial arts in the film. It's different to see him with a beard. That's obviously a character choice, as you can't really shave after the apocalypse and you must protect your face.

The baddies, like in Karate Cop (1991), wear football equipment. There are some interesting antagonists this time around, such as Nick Nicholson from No Dead Heroes (1986), and characters such as Hog Head, Meat Ball and of course the duel between Talbot and Gonzo Gonzales (Hourani) where they swing back and forth on ropes swiping at each other is, well, not memorable, but...something.

Yes, there is the constant shooting and blow-ups, and the standard post-apocalyptic stuff like wacky costumes and cars with weird things attached to them. And yes, it is pretty dumb. It doesn't add much to any of its post-nuke forbears. It holds your interest, only just barely. But it's not really meant as anything other than cheap entertainment, so you can't judge it that harshly.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Knights Of The City (1985)

Knights Of The City (1985)-* * *

Directed by: Dominic Orlando

Starring: Leon Isacc Kennedy, Stoney Jackson, Jeff Moldovan, Janine Turner, with Jeff Kutash, and with Special Appearances by: Kurtis Blow, The Fat Boys, and Smokey Robinson











Could it be that there is a movie that combines Body Rock (1984) with Chains (1989)? Yes, it exists: Knights of the City has to be one of the silliest movies ever, and, coming from us, that's really saying something.

The Royals are a street gang in Miami. The core members are also in a band called the Royal Rockers. The Mechanics are a rival gang moving in on their turf. One night after a rumble, they end up in jail. Like most jails, The Fat Boys and Kurtis Blow are there and everyone in the cell starts dancing and rapping. Luckily, Delamo (Ansara) is in the cell next door for being a raging alcoholic. Of course, he is the head of Twilight Records. He likes what he hears and sees, so he gives the band a business card. The next day, the band shows up at the offices and drops off their demo tape (which sounds exactly like Michael Jackson). His daughter Brooke is in charge of A&R and wants to sign them, but they didn't leave any contact info on their tape. So she starts a contest, "Street Contest", to try and find acts in the inner city. This was pretty ahead of it's time; try to imagine a ghetto "American Idol" or "America's Got Talent". She finds the band, but the leader of the Royals/Royal Rockers, Troy (Kennedy) falls for her. Conflicts ensue when her high class world meets his lower-class one. But wait! There's more!

Joey (Nicholas Campbell) is a die-hard Royal, and, due to the rising popularity of the Royal Rockers, thinks Troy is losing his edge and forgetting his roots. But fellow Royal/guitarist Mookie (yes, Mookie) (John Mengatti) wants to go the music route more, and Troy is torn between them.  But Troy sees winning the Street Contest as his way out of the ghetto. Thanks to Brooke, he's seen the other side of life, and now wants to be a part of it. But there's yet another conflict at hand. Jasmine (Wendy Barry), Troy's former girlfriend is competing against him in the contest...and she's being coached by none other than Carlos (Moldovan), the evil head of the Mechanics! And did we mention their bad-ass gang hideout is an abandoned TUGBOAT!?!?  A freakin' TUGBOAT! As if all that wasn't enough, both gangs are constantly being harassed by grumpy cop McGruder (Floyd Levine)! How will Troy deal with all this, to quote him, "Jive"?

CRUCIAL PLOT POINT THAT I FORGOT TO MENTION: In rehearsing for the contest, they decide their dance moves are not good enough so they hire Flash (Jeff Kutash) to show them how to get down and get funky in the proper manner. Naturally this leads to a montage of dance training. Don't ever forget about Kutash.

Besides the aforementioned Body Rock and Chains, Knights of the City can also be compared to a cross between West Side Story (1961), Beat Street (1984) and The Warriors (1979). There are gangs, and they do gang-y things, but they will throw down some breakdancing moves at the drop of a hat! At any moment, a dance could break out. Even Denny Terrio of Dance Fever fame appears as himself, along with all the other guest musical stars!

Forget all the ham-handed acting (or in the case of Nicholas Campbell as Joey, yelling and screaming) where everything every character says ends in "man!"...the TRUE stars of Knights of the City are THE COSTUMES! The clothes that people wear in this movie are truly astounding. They must be seen to be believed. NO 80's movie or music video you have seen before can prepare you for the awesome outfits. Top honors go to Costume Designers Celia Bryant and Beverly Safier. No wonder it took two people. If there were any justice in this world, they would be more recognized for their abilities. I would try to describe the clothes for you, but not only is that pointless, I think it might also count as a "Spoiler Alert"!

In another completely absurd turn, none other than Smokey Robinson shows up as the MC of the contest. He seems stiff and confused. Maybe getting onstage in front of judges such as Dean Dean made him nervous.

The Royals are a ragtag group of street ragamuffins, and they supposedly are rude, crude and have a dangerous 'tude, but in actuality they are obnoxious and annoying. No wonder Troy wants to drop them like a bad habit. For example, Carlos' big insult to Troy is to repeatedly call him "Fish Lips". But there does seem to be some weird, last-minute editing out of swear words, so that might make sense. But the movie is still rated R, so...why? But at its core, Knights of the City is really a movie with a message. Reach for the stars!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Night Hunter (1996)

Night Hunter (1996)-* *

Directed by: Rick Jacobson

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Melanie Smith, Nicholas Guest, Vince Murdocco, Maria Ford, Ron Yuan, James Lew, and Sid Sham












Jack Cutter (The Dragon) comes from a long line of vampire hunters. When he was just a kid, vampires attacked his family farmhouse. The Cutter family has a sacred book all about vampires and how to combat them. His family tells him "don't trust anyone", and he is sent off to be on his own. In 1995, now an adult, Cutter has tracked and killed every vampire in existence - except an elite underground club of nine multiracial vamps, led by the sinister Brit Bruno (Guest). Cutter teams up with Raimy Baker (Smith), a reporter for the "National Inquisitor". But can he get over his deep-seated trust issues? Can he avoid the cops and exterminate the last vampires on earth before the solar eclipse when they will gain maximum power? Will Jack live up to his nickname of "The Hunter"?

Night Hunter is a Ring of Fire (1991) reunion of sorts, as Don The Dragon, Maria Ford, Ron Yuan and Vince Murdocco all return in front of the camera, and Rick Jacobson and Art Camacho behind it. However, there seems to have been a conscious effort to do something totally different and not repeat themselves. They succeeded in that, and it is a nice novelty to see Don in a different kind of role: a dark, horror-tinged storyline instead of a sunny, romantic one like Ring of Fire. Two sides of a coin I guess. Maria Ford is always welcome, and Melanie Smith will be instantly recognized by Seinfeld fans as Jerry's girlfriend in a story arc on that show.

Don doesn't say anything until 20 minutes into the movie, and his character and dress are very clearly influenced by The Crow (1994) and Brandon Lee. It's also one of the better Don performances we've seen, as his wooden delivery is hidden well by a character that doesn't talk much anyway. As this is a Corman production, and he is known for "borrowing" ideas popular at that time, the film also borrows the flamenco music of Desperado (1995) and some ideas from From Dusk Til Dawn (1996). Interestingly it predates Blade (1998) in the fact that it has Vampire POV and Ford's character is similar to Traci Lords'.  

As far as the fights are concerned, it seems to be a mix of gunplay and martial arts, and highlighted by Don's punishing finishing moves and death blows. A positive for Night Hunter is that it seems to have created its own vampire rules and mythos. For example, vampires may come out during the day, especially if they wear special sunglasses. Vampires shoot guns, and there is a gunshot-cure serum. Notably,  you can only kill them by breaking their neck. So that sets the stage for some violent moves. But there is a major downside...

You've heard of "shaky cam" but during the fight scenes, they seem to have initiated something we called "earthquake cam". The screen violently shakes, so much so you begin to feel ill. The attempt to be stylish is somewhat appreciated, but you can't sicken your audience by sticking the camera in one of those paint-shaking machines at the hardware store and not expect a reaction. If this was done to cover up the moves of the actors, there's no need for that as Don's moves are excellent. They really should have reined in the earthquake cam. And sometimes they added a strobe light on top of it!

For a Don The Dragon movie with more of a professional sheen, and featuring Don in an unorthodox role, by all means try Night Hunter...but beware the earthquake cam.

Comeuppance Review by Brett and Ty

Cocaine Wars (1985)

Cocaine Wars (1985)-* *

Directed by: Hector Olivera

Starring: John Schneider, Kathryn Witt, Federico Luppi, and Royal Dano








"A Lone American Hero Challenges The Might Of A Vicious Drug Empire!"



Cliff Adams (Schneider) is an American in South America. He works for drug super-kingpin Reyes (Luppi) and his partner General Lujan (Rodolfo Ranni) as their personal pilot and assistant. However, Cliff is a DEA agent working hard, undercover, to bust Reyes' organization. When Marcelo Villalba  (John Vitali), a revolutionary, "power to the people"-type politician starts gaining some political momentum, Reyes gets worried, because Villalba is anti-drug. Reyes asks Cliff to kill Villalba. This unleashes a chain of events that sweeps up Cliff and his love interest/reporter Janet (Witt) in the violence. Will Cliff be able to protect Janet, Villalba, and their friend Bailey (Dano) from the thugs of Reyes? Will Reyes succeed in his nefarious drug-running plans? And who are those strange German characters?

Cocaine Wars somehow manages to be pretty silly, yet unmemorable. Odds are, you will forget this movie very shortly after watching it. Maybe it's the unclear, disjointed way the plot rolls out, or some of the stilted dialogue and wacky dubbing (things that normally make these types of movies worth watching), but there it is. The unshaven John Schneider, who, here at least, is best described as "flatly charismatic", does a competent job as Cliff. His hirsute status gives him a doglike appearance, perhaps a golden retriever. I mean this in the best possible way, of course. Luckily, his mustache saves the movie.

There are the standard car chases and shooting-based action scenes, and the movie would definitely have been remiss in denying Schneider the all-important torture scene. There are some parallels to the Peter Fonda movie Fatal Mission (1990), as well as The Dogs of War (1980) and The Expendables (2010). The main music cue is very similar to the opening notes of Beverly Hills 90210. You think Schneider, after running people off cliffs and such, will at any moment walk into the Peach Pit. 

Cocaine Wars is a very 80's subject, and this Roger Corman production, released on the great Media label, perhaps could have been executed better. But at 82 minutes, you can't really go wrong.

Comeuppance Review by Brett and Ty

Field Of Fire (1991)

Field Of Fire (1991)-* *

AKA: Battle Gear

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: David Carradine, Joe Mari Avellana, Henry Strzalkowski, and Eb Lottimer









It seems our friend (at least he seems like our friend after spending this much time with him) Cirio H. Santiago can't leave the jungles of Vietnam. So many of his movies are romps in the jungle. Here we go again.

When Wilson (Jim Moss) AKA Ironhand, is stranded in the dense jungles of 'Nam, General Simmons (Carradine) (NOT "General Corman" as he is listed in some sources...remember Counter Measures (1999) and "Zach Silver"?) and his aide Willy send in yet another elite team to rescue the lost and nervous soldier. Meanwhile, the VC is closing in and they lose their radio communication. They have to get to the Laos border to a special meet point. Will they make it?

Unfortunately, Field of Fire AKA Battle Gear retreads a lot of the same ground we've seen before. It's not BAD per se, but it's pretty mediocre. For most of the movie, Carradine barks orders in one room. He does leave that room eventually, and it's a great moment. He also wears a funny Hawaiian shirt. Interesting.

There's also a lot of Vietnam slang. Characters mainly talk about LURPS and their Sandy's while Jolly Greens chase their Ironhand. I know, I'm confused too.

The leader of the jungle group is Duncan (Lottimer), or "Dunc" for short. I believe he was cast because he resembles Bruce Springsteen. Plus he has an interesting name. Then there's Jefe, a token man who speaks Spanish. He uses his language to confuse the enemy. Senator is played by Scott Utley. It's not one of the better 'Nam handles we've heard. Jimmy T is Don Barnes, the African-American who yells loudly while shooting his machine gun. Hawk is Henry Strzalkowski (a man who has been in a lot of DTV action movies but isn't a prominent name). Captain Phat (Avellana) is the evil baddie. Avellana also has a long and storied history as an actor/director in the DTV world.

Also, when the VC talks, there are WAY too many subtitles on the screen. We're pretty sure they're not saying all that stuff. Someone grunts and there's a paragraph.

You'd think a movie with this pedigree would be better. Field of Fire is generic Vietnam stuff with all the standard moments and no surprises and nothing memorable.

You could do worse, but this is pretty bland. For better Cirio, check out Final Mission (1984) or The Devastator (1985).

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Hard Way Out (1996)

Hard Way Out (1996)-* * *

AKA: Bloodfist VIII: Trained to Kill

Directed by: Rick Jacobson

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson and John Patrick White



"I will always be employable, and you'll always be dead!"
-McGrath (Evil Baddie from movie)




Mild-mannered high school math teacher Rick Cowan (The Dragon) goes through his days teaching his pupils algebra and trying to relate to his 15 year old son, Chris, who is a student in the school where Rick teaches.

After some Italian baddies gun down a guy in a convenience store and attack Rick at his home, the truth comes out that Rick is actually George MacCready, who worked in the CIA doing covert ops. Now that a hit team is out to kill him and his son, they first go to a safe house which isn't so safe. They then fly to Ireland to get more answers.

Rick has to battle through the cops, the gangsters, find out who is double-crossing him, and save his son who has been kidnapped. Can he succeed?

The Dragon is actually believable as a high school teacher. You gotta love his wooden, but fun delivery of his lines ("The socialists are tracking me down!"). He should have done more martial arts and less gun shooting. We want to see his rockin' moves on the bad guys, not just shoot guns. He does most of his fighting in a winter coat leading to the new term "coat-fighting".

John Patrick White portrays the sassy white kid, Chris. He may ask a lot of questions, but he is pretty handy making an electrified boombox. A movie highlight is when the school bully touches Chris's radio and gets the shock of his life, as shown by the highly realistic blue lightning over his body.

As this is a Roger Corman production and he likes to pinch pennies, he probably connected the shooting of this movie and his other Ireland production My Brother's War (1997). He wouldn't waste a trip to Ireland. Would he?

Character names are movie references themselves. There's Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger, Gianini (the main baddie who was "born in Corleone"),and even Michaelangelo. Film fans will notice these references.

This is an enjoyable Dragon entry. The locations are different from the usual fare, the action sequences are lively, and The Dragon rarely fails to deliver what you want.

Comeuppance review by: Ty & Brett

Desert Thunder (1999)

Desert Thunder (1999)-* *1\2

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Richard Tyson, Richard Portnow, and Ari Barak










Desert Thunder is a surprisingly enjoyable outing from Jim Wynorski. By the box art you would think it's a dry and serious affair. In fact, it is an upbeat and downright lighthearted experience.

Daniel Baldwin plays Lee Miller, a fighter pilot with a dark past. He is put in charge of assembling a team to fly to Iraq and stop a missile that will destroy a major city in Europe. The ragtag team are all outcasts from the military but Miller and his right hand man, Streets (Tyson) must unite them towards one common mission.



Besides Miller & Streets, the team, called "The Shadow Dancers" consists of: Burkett (Tim Abell), the hothead, Detolla, the silly chef who provides most of the comic relief, Jones, a record producer, Hasheem, A political refugee and computer nerd, and Malone, a woman who was involved in a military scandal.

Will they survive each other before they can take down the wacky Iraqis?

If you watched this in 1999 it would seem "ripped from the headlines". The evil Iraqis brag about stalling U.N. weapons inspections. They say the WMD's are hidden in the palaces "where the Americans can't touch them." This is a direct slam on Hans Blix. You got burned, Blix!

Daniel, one of the more underrated Baldwins, puts in an engaging performance. Miller calls people he doesn't know "Slappy" or "Sparky" and he is a compulsive gambler. Tyson is stoic as Miller's foil. They have to oversee the many training sequences, barroom brawls and food fights that pad out the running time.



It is suspected that 'Thunder contains stock footage, but this couldn't be definitively confirmed. Speaking of recycling, one pilot's airplane handle is "Eagle One", which is used in another Roger Corman production, The Hunt For Eagle One (2006).

Not only does Desert Thunder resemble the movie Top Gun (1986) but also the NES game "Top Gun", as shown in the Nintendo-type screen in the planes and the usage of the term "bogeys".

'Thunder contains all the clichés you know and enjoy, mixed together with an uplifting patriotic theme, some goofy humor and some explosions. It all adds up to a rousing good time!


Comeuppance Review by: Brett & Ty

Falling Fire (1997)

Falling Fire (1997)-*
 
AKA: The Cusp

Directed By: Daniel D'Or

Starring: Michael Paré and Heidi von Palleske








Unfortunately, Falling Fire is one of the biggest duds we've seen in a long time.

This 1998 Roger Corman New Horizons release is an unfocused, boring mish-mash. It is clearly a cash-in on the then-current rash of sci-fi hits such as Armageddon (1998), Deep Impact (1998), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Starship Troopers (1997) Virtuosity (1995), Event Horizon (1997), Deep Rising (1998) and it even manages to rip-off the classic 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). It is especially similar to the more well-known Supernova (2000-filmed in 1998).

Set in space, the plot seems to be some twaddle about a ragtag team of explorers supposedly trying to stop a huge meteor from hitting earth. Meanwhile Captain Daryl Boden (Paré) is having family troubles back at home. His wife (Von Palleske) even gets into some hot water herself when she gets shot in the foot by the main baddie. Will they save earth from impending destruction? Will Paré emote more than Jeff Fahey or a piece of wood? (Don't) find out tonight!

Also trying to horn in on the "V.R. craze" of the mid-1990s, any episode of the kids TV show V.R. Troopers (1994-1996) is better than this dreck. The most positive aspects of the movie that we can name are the special effects which were probably decent for the budget and year it was made. Sadly though, the finished product is tedious with characters talking about scientific gobbledygook instead of making sense or even having action scenes.

We believe we have come up with a reason why 'Fire is so disjointed and nonsensical and thus not engaging to the viewer: It seems the movie was longer at one point and was haphazardly edited down to a manageable length. The Canadian version under the odd title "The Cusp" has scenes not in the American release.

We all love Paré and even he is slumming this time around. It seems he is sleepwalking and this is not his best moment. He brings no energy, but that is quite apropos as the whole production has no life. Paré was just along for the slow space ride. We also suspect that the American title was changed to Falling Fire to cash-in on Paré's most well-known work Streets Of Fire (1984).

Apparently the chemistry of Paré and Heidi von Palleske was so great after their double whammy of Strip Search (1997) and 2013: The Deadly Wake (1997) it was decided that they should appear again together in this flick. They should have quit while they were ahead.

This has a direct-to-cable feel and is an example of a movie that has a short running time but feels much longer. The effects make the asteroid in question look like a gigantic piece of burnt toast and it occurred to us that the entire movie is like one big piece of burnt toast.

Douse out this "Fire" tonight!


Comeuppance review by Brett and Ty