Tunnel (2002)

 

Tunnel (2002)- * *

Directed by: Daniel Baldwin

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Kim Coates, and Jeanine Theriault 

Usually when a prisoner has to be transported somewhere, something bad happens. As we always say, never transport prisoners. Just leave them where they are. Unfortunately, when a baddie named Geary (Coates) has to be moved from one place to another by train, his criminal compatriots come to his rescue and they all escape into an underground tunnel. They're looking for some stolen diamonds, and only a man named Seale (Baldwin) can flush them all out. He's trapped down there with a woman named Sarah (Theriault), and together they have to stop the bad guys, find the diamonds, and get out alive. Who will escape THE TUNNEL?


Oh, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), what have you wrought? While a lot of The Tunnel, naturally enough, takes place in a dimly (i.e. poorly) lit tunnel, a large section also takes place on the train which is transporting the Geary character. Every time we watch a movie like Death Train (2003), Hijack (1998), Derailed (2002), Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995), or Evasive Action (1998), we have to wonder why filmmakers, low budget action filmmakers especially, thought trains were so awesome hot and cool. This isn't the 1830's anymore. Most people over the age of three aren't wowed by choo-choos. So why fully-grown adults are continually making these train movies, presumably with the intention that audiences are, yet again, going to breathlessly exclaim, "Whoa, Cooooolll!" when they see a film set on a train, we have no freakin' clue.


So, with that said, we have to conclude that star and director Daniel Baldwin can do better than this. We know - or, at least we suspect - that he's capable of directing stronger material than The Tunnel. So that's why it's so disappointing that The Tunnel is comprised of more mediocre Die Hard-isms that bring nothing new, interesting, or exciting to the table.


It all starts off promisingly enough, with a car chase/blowup and some impressive stunt work. We get a fairly interesting back story to Dan's character at the outset but it never pays off or maintains its initial promise. Just when you think the movie is going to continue in this direction, it quickly devolves into a boring, cliche-ridden slog.


While Kim Coates always puts a lot of energy into his baddie roles, which are most of them, and Baldwin has a few charismatic moments, most of the tunnel sequences are very poorly lit. If you can't see what's going on, the dialogue descends into the sort of stuff you've heard a million times before, and the plot does likewise, things become real dull real fast. One might see the box for The Tunnel at their local video store and then just pass it right on by.


There's a certain bleak Canadian-ness to it and by the end of the ninety-five minute running time (gotta make sure you have those extra five minutes), this tunnel has collapsed.


So, as excited as we were to see the second film Daniel Baldwin directed after Fall: The Price of Silence (2001), we have to say it was a letdown. The Tunnel is inessential viewing, but you're unlikely to come across it anyway. If you do, there's really no need to see it. You'll feel like you've seen it all before, and done better.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Last Boy Scout (1991)

The Last Boy Scout (1991)- * * * *

Directed by: Tony Scott

Starring: Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, Halle Berry, Billy Blanks, Danielle Harris, Bruce McGill, Chelsea Field, Kim Coates, Taylor Negron, and Noble Willingham

Joe Hallenbeck (Willis) is a jaded private detective just trying to keep his family life together when he takes on the case of Cory (Berry), a stripper involved in a blackmail plot. When Cory’s boyfriend Jimmy Dix (Wayans), a former pro-footballer for the L.A. Stallions gets involved, the two unlikely partners become embroiled in a conspiracy that goes…you guessed it, all the way to the top. Along the way, they have to avoid many perilous situations, trouble from goons, and perhaps a surprise appearance from Dick Butkus. Will Joe Hallenbeck truly be THE LAST BOY SCOUT?

Shane Black for President, man. Shane Black for freakin’ President. That pretty much sums up our feelings for this great film, and if you haven’t seen it in a while, we say it’s time to revisit it. We guarantee you won’t be disappointed. The great Mr. Black was the writer behind Lethal Weapon (1987), and here he develops that style even more – it’s cool, it’s funny, it’s tough, it has action, it’s totally entertaining, everything works, and everything ties up beautifully. As a writer of intelligent, masculine movies, Black is the heir apparent to John Milius. We’re happy to give the movie this sort of enthusiastic praise.

It all opens with a slam-bang opening featuring fan favorite Billy Blanks, and never lets up from there. Even the accompanying video/song “Friday Night’s a Great Time for Football” by Bill Medley sets the tone well. Bruce Willis is at his absolute best as the burned-out, grizzled private detective - smoking heavily, spitting out un-PC dialogue, and engaging in the sort of witty repartee you just don’t see in movies anymore. Damon Wayans, also at his best, is “action Wayans”, and we should have seen more of that later in his career. Despite their supposed character flaws, both men remain likable, and the viewer is highly invested in their fate.

While the movie was allegedly beset by production problems and changes, it remains extremely coherent and you’d never know that if you didn’t read about it somewhere. If it’s this good as it is now, one has to wonder would it be as good if there was no studio meddling – or maybe better? We’ll never know, but let’s appreciate what we have. It’s also packed with many familiar names in the supporting cast, and although a lot of action movies feature a daughter, Danielle Harris as Hallenbeck’s daughter Darian has to go on record as the one with the most edge. She has a lot more attitude than the normal tot (she’s 13 in the movie but we tend to call them tots). There’s even a WYC (White Yelling Chief) to top off the overstuffed package of punching, shooting, chasing, blow-ups, plot developments, and clever dialogue.

Sadly, they don’t make movies like this anymore, but at least we have gems like this. What Shane Black has done is essentially fashion a Philip Marlowe or Sam Spade tale, but updated for 1991. The results are stellar, and we strongly recommend The Last Boy Scout, a movie that has proven itself over time to have reached classic status.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Last Man Standing (1987)

Last Man Standing (1987)-* * *

AKA: Circle Man

Directed by: Damian Lee

Starring: Vernon Wells, Franco Columbu, Sonja Belliveau, Michael Copeman, Peter Dempster, Real Andrews, Kim Coates, and William Sanderson









Roo Marcus (Wells) is a down-and-out guy with a troubled past who was recently released from a mental institution, where he suffered through inhumane conditions and shock therapy. Going back to the only thing he really knows, he begins Punchfighting in brutal, bare-knuckle “circle fights” run by Napoleon (Copeman). He tries once again to leave the Punchfighting life behind, working at a gym run by his buddy Casper (Sanderson). He even develops a relationship with local tomboy Charlie (Sonja Belliveau). But due to circumstances beyond his control, he gets sucked back into Punchfighting, having to contend with musclebound maniac Cannon (Dempster), and quick, charismatic, Muhammad Ali-like Razor (Andrews). Will Roo ever find the peace in life he seeks?

Last Man Standing (not to be confused with the Wincott movie - or any other movie - with the same name) was a pleasant surprise. While it contains no shortage of bare-knuckle Punchfighting, if you took out all, or most, of the circle fights, it could stand on its own as a serious and even tender drama. That’s surely the sign of a quality Punchfighter. 

Vernon Wells gives a wonderfully sensitive and nuanced performance as Roo. You really care about him. We were only familiar with his work in Nam Angels (1989), American Eagle (1989) and of course Commando (1985). We didn’t know he could actually ACT. While he was excellent in the role, we also thought Richard Norton could have played Roo. Balancing out the introspective Roo was his friend Batty, played by Franco Columbu. He gives a crazy, unhinged performance and he really lives up to his character’s name.

We were a little wary going in to this movie, as we haven’t had great luck with Damian Lee movies in the past. But we’re glad we went forward, as this, his first movie as director, is his best we’ve seen to date. Lee wrote and produced Busted Up (1986) and Thunderground (1989) but did not direct them. Last Man Standing has a similar vibe and will remind you of those. While Lee would return to Punchfighting later in his career with Fatal Combat (1997) (with Wincott, funnily enough), and make movies that range from funny (Abraxas, 1990) to just plain awful (Agent Red, 2000), if you’re not familiar with his work, here would be a great place to start (and possibly end).

The circle fights, and the crowds that surround them, will remind you of the video for the Scorpions’ “Rock You Like A Hurricane”. But it predates UFC’s “The Octagon” by many years, and as far as cage fighting movies go, this is probably rivaled only by...well...Cage (1989). And possibly Cage 2 (1994). But beyond the cage, it has other fighting innovations we’d never seen before, such as when two burly meatheads oil each other up (with actual black oil), tie a rope to each other’s arms, and get into a rickety rowboat in a lake and then have at it. You can’t make this stuff up. Or maybe you can. But how did they?

William Sanderson is always great, Damian Lee appears as the pre-Bumfights Bumfighter Sully, and Kim Coates has a cameo, but Real Andrews is keepin’ it Real as Razor. While we’d seen him before in the aforementioned Busted Up, as well as Red Scorpion 2 (1994), and the Billy Blanks vehicles Expect No Mercy (1995) and Balance of Power (1996), here he gives a noteworthy performance, and you’ll love his rapping abilities.

Last Man Standing as a whole, like Wells’ performance, is human and street-level. To be brutally honest, the movie does feel somewhat low-rent, but to put a positive spin on that, we could just say it’s gritty. If you’re a fan of the Punchfighting genre, definitely check this one out.

Also check out a review by our buddy, Cool Target!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Breach Of Trust (1995)

Breach Of Trust (1995)- * *1\2
 
AKA: Crash

Directed by: Charles Wilkinson

Starring: Michael Biehn, Leilani Sarelle, Miguel Sandoval, Matt Craven, Vladimir Kulich, Ed Lauter, and Kim Coates












Casey (Biehn) is a low-level courier for a criminal enterprise led by Carlo Sanchez (Sandoval). Casey comes into possession of “The Disk”, a CD-ROM (presumably, because this was the 90’s) that has information leading to 40 million dollars’ worth of criminal earnings. When undercover cop Madeline (Sarelle) becomes involved because some corrupt government agents are on the take and also want The Disk, soon Casey and Madeline are on the run from many bad guys who are after them because they want “The Disk” as well. Not the least of which is scary executioner Bracco (Kulich, last seen in Crackerjack, 1995 and Red Scorpion 2, 1994). The BIG boss of it all is Kreuger (Lauter). Will Casey and Madeline ride off into the sunset together - or is there just too much shooting?

While the first part of this movie gets off to a weird start, the many character actors involved throughout the film make you forget about the odd pace (which eventually becomes more normal). We’ve seen many, many movies where “The Disk” is something both the good guys and the bad guys want, and here is no exception. A lot of the scenes are dark, just like the other Biehn vehicle American Dragons (1998). It must be in his contract that his movies use less lights.

Speaking of Biehn, here he’s more animated than usual and really turns on the charm. Ed Lauter should have been in more of the movie, his is basically a bit part. His accent is suitably menacing, however. The similarities to Crackerjack continue...and yes, there is some classic 90’s computer gobbledygook on show as well.

While they really went crazy with the scenes of mindless gun-shooting, perhaps the movie could have been trimmed a bit. It may seem like quibbling, but Breach of Trust probably didn’t HAVE to be 96 minutes. It should have been 90 or less. Demanding more than that of audiences for this type of fare is kind of pushing it. But the presences of Biehn, Sandoval, Kulich, and Lauter, not to mention further fan-favorite familiar faces such as Matt Craven and Kim Coates certainly soften the blow. We weren’t overly familiar with Sarelle but she does a good job as the tough cop but who also can’t resist the overpowering winning smile of Casey.

Shot in Vancouver, B.C. Canada, Breach of Trust isn’t mind-blowingly different (and something happens at the end which is...odd) but it provides decent entertainment.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Airborne (1998)

Airborne (1998)-* *

Directed by: Julian Grant

Starring: Steve Guttenberg, Kim Coates, Colm Feore, Torri Higginson, Philip Akin, and Sean Bean










"Pray It Doesn't Land..."








Bill McNeil (Guttenberg) is the head of a Special Ops team known as “Mach 1”. His compatriots are Sara Gemmel (Higginson) and Romeo Cortez (Akin). There’s an evil canister with an evil virus that a lot of evil people want to do evil things with. Head of said evildoers is the ominously-named Dave Toombs (Bean). When certain people end up dead, McNeil thinks it may be an inside job. So he goes on the run with Gemmel to get to the truth. Also Colm Feore and Kim Coates are on board.

Airborne is an unintentional (?) laugh riot. One of the main things that makes it funny is not just the presence of Steve Guttenberg, but his gruff, overly-serious performance. Obviously trying to shed his Police Academy “Mahoney” image, The Gute opts for an unshaven, laconic, cliche-action-hero style. Just check out the way he does a simple task like answer the phone. The phone rings. There is a pregnant pause as Gute takes the phone off the receiver. There is another pregnant pause before he speaks. Then, in a low, portentous, drawn-out tone, and speaking as if his throat is filled with gravel, he simply says, “Yeah”. While it may seem like nothing, this scene brought the house down with laughs. So that’s a microcosm of what to expect in Airborne, the movie that takes itself wildly seriously, even though it’s a shot-in-Canada, cliche-ridden turkey with bad sound, low production values and CGI airplanes.

In fact, while there is low-key, “smoldering” (harsher minds might say “emotionless”) acting by just about everyone involved, the movie could have used more Sean Bean. He is a bright spot in this dour production, and Kim Coates also tries to inject any energy he can, but it’s to no avail. You’d think the power team of Steve Guttenberg facing off against Sean Bean is the match-up the world has been waiting for - and it clearly is - but somehow Airborne doesn’t capitalize on this meeting.

And while Gute’s co-star Higginson resembles a DTV Sigourney Weaver, it’s hard for her to compete with his slow-motion, “cool” walking and other “cool” activities like putting on/taking off sunglasses. In fact, the importance he places on this action predates David Caruso and CSI Miami.

Plus you know it’s the 90’s because of the high-waisted jeans and unnecessary, Tarantino-esque cultural references. Also Sean Bean has an intimidating bad-guy mullet. But the Mach 1 team wears some impressive outfits: helmets that look like they are from the 80’s Laser Tag competitor Photon, and head-to-toe spandex. There’s one disturbing scene in particular where Guttenberg’s spandex pants don’t leave much to the imagination and...yecccchhh.

So while wags might say this is just another stupid, brainless ripoff of The Rock (1996) that is so riddled with cliches it can’t possibly add anything new to the genre, we say it’s the most dramatic retelling of the story of how that teacher invented his own cold medication yet put to film.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Lethal Tender (1997)

Lethal Tender (1997)-* * *

Directed by: John Bradshaw

Starring: Jeff Fahey, Kim Coates, Carrie-Anne Moss, Karyn Dwyer, Jonathan Potts and Gary Busey



"Money is the most explosive element."









When a team of terrorists take over a water filtration plant and start holding hostages from a tour group, only one man can stop the madness: police detective David Chase (Fahey, not the guy who created The Sopranos playing himself). He has to go up against not just the main hostage taker, the unbalanced Montessi (Coates), and his team of underlings with wacky code names such as Sparky (Dwyer) and Pogo (Potts), but the TRUE mastermind of it all, the sinister Turner (Busey). Luckily, Chase has a few tricks up his sleeve to deal with the baddies before they contaminate the water supply (he only has about four hours or so), and he has teamed up with Melissa (Moss), a plant worker, to save the day.

It’s Die Hard (1988) in a water filtration plant (I just filled in the blank from our Crackerjack  review). Off the bat, we know this is going to be an odd one. Starting with, believe it or not, some close-ups of Gary Busey's teeth as he talks to no one in particular, with some pounding music behind it, very soon we see something we know isn’t good: nefarious-looking men in overcoats and sunglasses walking in slow motion. Those have to be the bad guys. Kim Coates puts in a noteworthy performance as Montessi. He must have known he was doing the role many people have done before, so he tried to change it up. He has all these little jokes, strange vocal inflections and tics to try to put a spin on the “hostage taker” part. He does wave his gun around a lot, but he at least tried to do it differently, which is a good thing.

Jeff Fahey has a cool jacket and cool hair, and generally just seems “too cool” for the supposedly urgent situation.  We always like seeing him. Carrie-Anne Moss is on hand as the romantic interest/sidekick, and we don’t normally see her in DTV product such as this, so that was a nice change as well. Gary Busey is his normal, unhinged self, and from the bad guy team, Karen Dwyer as Sparky stands out from the crowd.

However, this came out in 1997, meaning the influence of Quentin Tarantino must have proved too hard to resist for the filmmakers. For no apparent reason, instead of action scenes or plot points, characters just start talking about The Jeffersons and Good Times. That now seems somewhat embarrassing, and unnecessary. We don’t want pop culture references, especially apropos of nothing. We’d rather hear Jeff Fahey try to woo women talking about his brie omelets. (Don’t forget, we’ve already seen teams of men walking in slow motion that have code names...but I’m sure Reservoir Dogs never played into the equation here).

For a goofier-than-usual,  shot-in-Canada DTV product, Lethal Tender (gotta love that title) is actually pretty entertaining.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Grilled (2005)

Grilled (2005)-* * *

Directed By: Jason Ensler

Starring: Ray Romano, Kevin James, Jon Polito, Kim Coates, Michael Rapaport, Juliette Lewis, and Burt Reynolds










Grilled was a pretty funny and suspenseful dark comedy. Ray Romano and Kevin James play meat salesman who are in a slump. If they don't make at least two sales, they're going to be fired.



Ray Romano was really good in this. He doesn't have to wait for a laugh track this time. Kevin James is his usual bumbling self, but he showed that he can be serious also and he pulled it off. You care about their problems. Jon Polito, Juilette Lewis and Michael Rapaport put in funny performances. The two stand-outs are Burt Reynolds and Kim Coates. They take one-dimensional characters and make them interesting.



"Grilled" doesn't deserve a quick death. It's worth watching.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Unstoppable (2004)

Unstoppable (2004) -* * *

AKA: 9 Lives

Directed By: David Carson

Starring: Wesley Snipes, Jacqueline Obradors, Kim Coates, Stuart Wilson, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje



Unstoppable is another assembly-line action movie from Snipes. This time around Wesley plays Dean Cage who is (of course) a CIA agent. A long time ago, he was kidnapped and tortured in a prison camp. He's mistakenly the target of Sullivan (Wilson), an evil drug maker. Cage is then injected with a drug that makes him hallucinate. If you look into Snipes' eyes, you can see he doesn't care about the movie.



He still puts in a professional performance though. It looks like he's forced to do his martial arts. The explosion on the highway is obviously green screened. Overall, it's not a bad movie, it's just lazy.


Comeuppance Review by: Ty