Sworn To Justice (1996)

Sworn To Justice (1996)- * *1\2

Directed by: Paul Maslak

Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Tony Lo Bianco, Eric Lee, Walter Koenig, Mako, Kurt McKinney, Kenn Scott, Brad Dourif, Art Camacho, Vince Murdocco, and Max Thayer










Janna (Rothrock) is a psychologist who works as an expert witness in court trials. When her sister is killed by thugs, Janna wants revenge and finally realizes the only way to get real justice is to do it yourself. She also hits her head on a tree and becomes psychic. Happens all the time. Technically she develops her psychometry, which allows you a type of perception based on touching certain objects. 

Meanwhile, a romance develops between her and fellow Martial Arts practitioner and book publisher Nicholas (McKinney) - but evil chop shop boss Eugene (Scott) threatens everything. Is a cop named Briggs (Lo Bianco) doing everything he can on Janna’s behalf? Or will Janna have to take on the baddies all by herself?

Sworn to Justice is typical 90’s Rothrock. But the cast assembled for this is truly impressive. Besides of course Cynthia herself, we have Kurt McKinney of No Retreat No Surrender (1986) fame in one of his only other action roles before he sank into the soap opera world. 

There’s also Walter Koenig as a fellow headshrinker, before he sank into the Star Trek world. Brad Dourif plays one of the baddies, in a brief role, and Mako is on hand as a blind newsagent that somehow knows it all. Kenn Scott, of Showdown (1993) fame is here and he has a run-in with Ian Jacklin at his garage. Eric Lee has a cameo as a storekeeper, Art Camacho is yet another baddie, and Vince Murdocco is here too. The mighty Max Thayer is on board as an attorney, and tying it all together is Tony Lo Biano as the cop, Briggs. To assemble a cast like this is pretty mind-boggling. But Sworn to Justice isn’t as epic as this might imply.

While we liked the idea of a “psychic vigilante”, and the fact that this is one of Cynthia’s more glamorous and feminine roles goes a long way as well, there are some weird tone shifts in the movie. One minute there’s a comedic brawl with wacky sound effects like “BOIIIING!” and elephant blarings (all for no reason that we can discern), and the next minute Janna is crying over her dead sister. But the fight scenes are what we’re all here to see, and there are some good ones. The fight in the garage was a movie highlight, and is even reminiscent of the one from Misson of Justice (1992), which was a standout scene in that film as well. There is another Wincott/Mission of Justice parallel in addition to that one, because Cynthia uses Arnis sticks to fight baddies, just as Wincott does in that movie.

There are some classic 90’s-style tunes on the soundtrack by bands with names like Buddah Heads and Addict Sunday. It’s good that they didn’t blow their budget on the hot hits of the day, like The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991) foolishly did. Of course there is the time-honored sax on the soundtrack as well. While Rothrock fans will certainly want to see Sworn to Justice, it might be worth watching in general, simply for the cast they managed to assemble.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Ring Of Fire II: Blood and Steel (1993)

Ring Of Fire II: Blood and Steel (1993)- * * *

Directed by: Richard W. Muchkin

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Maria Ford, Sy Richardson, Ian Jacklin, Vince Murdocco, Shari Shattuck,  Evan Lurie, and Eric Lee













Doctor Johnny Woo (The Dragon) returns. This time around, he’s engaged to Julie (Ford) and looking forward to a quiet life together. That is, until Julie is kidnapped and stolen away to an underground society called...The Underground. It’s its own separate city, with its own rules, laws and gangs. No one from the surface world ever goes down there, and guns are not allowed. But Johnny ventures down there anyway and battles away for his wife-to-be. Along the way he meets Ernest (Richardson), an embittered vet, who ends up helping him. It turns out the main baddies in The Underground are Kalin (Jacklin) and his lackey Predator (Lurie). They stage Punchfighting matches for fun and they want Johnny to face off against them. Backing up Johnny is his crew from the previous film, which includes the return of comic relief Kwong (Lee). Will Johnny and his compatriots rescue Julie and make it back to the surface world? Find out today!

Ring of Fire II certainly doesn’t skimp on the action: there are constant fights, blow-ups, car chases, broken glass, and even some Punchfighting. It keeps up like this with a good pace until right before the climax, when it starts to drag, and the repetition of it all becomes brain-numbing. But in the set and costume design, there is a lot of creativity which sets it apart. Sure, the basic plot is a melange of The Warriors (1979), Escape From New York (1981) and The Running Man (1987), but weird sets and the bizarre costumes of gangs like The Avengers, Shadow Warriors, Nightrats and personal favorites The Garbage Gang keep things nicely different. The lighting can also be odd, but a lot of the movie is too dark. So, visually not only is it different from the previous Ring of Fire installment, but it’s different from most other movies of this kind.

Cleverly, the first image of the movie is a “Ring” - but it’s Julie’s engagement ring. Sadly Maria Ford does almost nothing in this movie. The cast is very impressive - Eric Lee is up to his classic wacky antics, Evan Lurie shows his time-honored Meatheadyness, and Ian Jacklin wears a metal cummerbund. As in Firepower (1993), Gerald Okamura is here but you can barely see him. At least he’s credited this time. Art Camacho is also here as a generic gang member. The great Sy Richardson gives the movie much-needed weight, and lest we forget Vince Murdocco and Michael Delano. Both in front of and behind the camera, the cast and crew give it that PM style we all know and love.

Happily, this movie is not at all a retread of the first, which in lesser hands it easily could have been, and we give them credit for that. There’s also no courting or love story, because that was taken care of in the first film. Unfortunately, there is some filler, and the Punchfighting subplot is pointless and goes nowhere. The baddies just beat up on nameless, unseeable goons and there is no rhyme or reason to it. There’s no escalation in fight prowess. It’s seemingly there just to fill time. We love a good Punchfighter, but that’s not really what this movie is and it feels like an afterthought. Adding to The Warriors feel, there’s a radio DJ who periodically pops up to give updates. But those of you who have seen Riot (1997) and Fists of Blood (1988) will see there is also a (no pun intended) underground influence, as well as a more mainstream influence to the proceedings.

Finally, it should be noted that Don is shirtless for most of the movie’s running time. He, of course, loses his shirt in a fight when he first enters the underground, and he must go through his entire odyssey bare-chested. It’s worth noting because it’s the longest single instance of unnecessary shirtlessness we’ve seen to date. There’s NO reason for it, especially considering how long it lasts.

Ring of Fire II may have its flaws, but it’s basically an enjoyable movie. It’s not a title you need to rush out right now and buy, but if you see it somewhere, pick it up.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Tiger Claws II (1996)

Tiger Claws II (1996)-* *

Directed by: J. Stephen Maunder

Starring: Jalal Merhi, Cynthia Rothrock, Bolo Yeung, Eric Lee, Han Soon Ong, and Evan Lurie













When evil arms dealer Victor (Lurie) joins forces with the sinister Chong (Bolo), presumably to start some kind of criminal empire, and people are found dead all over San Francisco, cops Linda (Rothrock) and Tarek (Merhi) want to get to the bottom of it. Also they are in a romantic relationship. Things get really complicated when Dai Lo Fu (Ong), using his Chinatown restaurant as cover, is staging underground martial arts contests - with a supernatural twist. Now, to get to the truth, Linda and Tarek must compete. Will any of this make any kind of sense?

Clearly the world was asking - nay - BEGGING for one more Tiger Claws movie. And there’s even a third one after this! This movie is a hodgepodge of half-baked ideas that make no sense. It feels like the filmmakers were just kind of flying by the seats of their respective pants and kind of making stuff up as they went along. Probably not a good idea, especially if your choice for the male hero is the unintelligble, mumbling, personality-less, unlikable Jalal Merhi. He looks like a Balki-era Bronson Pinchot crossed with Night of the Wilding-era Erik Estrada. One of the biggest plot flaws is why Cynthia Rothrock is in love with him. And the scene in which he must use his awesome martial arts prowess to “save” Cynthia Rothrock is just preposterous. It should have been the other way around.

We like Evan Lurie, especially after American Kickboxer 2 (1993), and he was a good choice for one of the villains. He is charismatic and perhaps a member of the Trenchcoat Mafia. How his illegal gun shipment has to do with a “secret passage” and a mystical prisoner (Lee) cannot be explained. Han Soo Ong, who we’ve seen in Last to Surrender (1999) and King of the Kickboxers (1990), we believe is Korean, so why is he the crime boss here?

The presumed Punchfighting sequences are just cash-ins for video games like Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, and are just silly and nonsensical. Additionally, the film is filled with funny continuity errors and has that Canadian feel. And while Merhi isn’t quite as sucky as he was in Talons of the Eagle (1992) (which was written by director Maunder, as was TC 2000 (1993), as well as the other Tiger Claws movies and other Merhi vehicles - he must have really believed in the “Tiger Claws” concept, as well as Jalal Merhi, so his judgment is certainly in question), he’s no prince here either. Even Rothrock, who we love, can’t save this one.

Also check out our buddy DTVC's review! 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Steele Justice (1987)

Steele Justice (1987)-* * *

Directed by: Robert Boris

Starring: Martin Kove, Robert Kim, Sela Ward, Bernie Casey, Ronny Cox, Soon-Tek Oh, Shannon Tweed, Eric Lee, Irene Tsu, and Asher Brauner

Choreography by Jeff Kutash




"You Don't Recruit John Steele. You Unleash Him."





Lt. John Steele (Kove) is a man who plays by his own rules. He survived the horrors of the Vietnam war, including being trapped in a cave with "ratbombs", or bombs strapped to rats. Now, in the "present day", both he and his 'Nam buddy Lee (Robert Kim) are L.A. cops. Helping them in their quest to take down the evil drug-dealing gang the Black Tigers is Reese (Casey). When the Black Tigers do something really, really bad (I'm a master at avoiding spoilers), Steele straps two bandoliers of bullets to his bare chest and gets the only kind of justice he can...STEELE JUSTICE!

Released in the prime of the video-store action glut of the 80's, despite its killer cast of favorites, it's fairly easy to see why Steele Justice got overlooked at the time. If a video store patron wanted this type of fare, are they going to spend their hard-earned money on a Rambo film or a Schwarzenegger vehicle, or Steele Justice? Thus it became a "die-hard action fan only" film. While it does have plenty of "shirtless shooting" and classic barfights, there are some things about the movie that are worth noting...

First off, John Steele (gotta love the name) has a gun that shoots knives. That's pretty memorable right there. But also he has a pet: Threestep the snake. He is named this because his poison is so deadly, you won't make it three steps before you die. Also, and this isn't said in the film, we can gather that Steele is a big fan of Lynyrd Skynyrd, especially the song "Gimme Three Steps". The bar he frequents also features the Desert Rose Band, featuring Chris Hillman of Byrds fame, so we know Steele likes country-rock. And speaking of his musical tastes, during a movie highlight, a car chase interrupts a video shoot for Astrid Plane (of Animotion fame), so we can also gather he hates 80's pop. Even though the video was choreographed (and perhaps stars) Jeff Kutash. And in true 80's fashion, there is a montage set to the song "fight fire with fire" by Hot Pursuit.

Sela Ward, as the love interest, appears heavily medicated. However, she does get to say the line to Steele, "The war isn't over for you. It just changed locations." Asher Brauner makes a brief appearance as "Mob Thug #1", and most of the names in the cast, including Shannon Tweed, Irene Tsu and Eric Lee make very short, almost walk-on roles.

Everybody knows/says the name "Steele" throughout the movie, and in true action movie fashion, it all ends in the typical abandoned warehouse. For generic 80's action that's so formulaic it can't miss, check out Steele Justice.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

-------------------------------------------------

Also, Robert Kim sent us this email with this interesting story: 

My name is Robert Kim, I'm an actor and portrayed the role of Lt. Lee Van Minh (Martin Kove's Vietnam buddy) in the 1980's action flick, "Steele Justice."

I just read you review on Imdb, and had a little bit of trivia for you.  Remember you mentioned that, "Sela Ward, as the love interest, appears heavily medicated," you were actually more correct than you may have imagined…

As it turns out, at the time we shot the film, Sela was living with Richard Dean Anderson of "MccGyver" fame.  On the day before we filmed, she had accidentally walked through Richard's plate glass door leading to his swimming pool,
breaking her nose in the process.  So yes, she WAS medicated for most of her scenes, but she just put on her game face and did a credible job when most people would have not even showed up.

Just an interesting piece of movie trivia.

All the best!

Robert Kim
NYC

Talons Of The Eagle (1992)

Talons Of The Eagle (1992)-* * *

Directed by: Michael Kennedy

Starring: Billy Blanks, Jalal Merhi, Priscilla Barnes, Master Pan Quing Fu, James Hong, Eric Lee, Gary "Si-Jo" Foo, and Matthias Hues



"When You're Fighting Crime, Killing is a Way of Life."








Tyler Wilson (Blanks) is a tough New York City cop who is also proficient in martial arts. Because he is such a "loose cannon", he is shipped off to Toronto to team up with Michael Reeds (Merhi) because he is dubbed a "loose cannon" as well. This police chief is quite a matchmaker. It seems a Mr. Li (Hong) has his hands in drugs, prostitution, gambling, and the like, and, as we've seen before, Li is taping Councilmen and other government officials indulging in these vices, and the corruption goes...wait for it...all the way to the top! But wait, there's more! Li also holds punchfighting competitions to find new recruits for his organization. When the dynamic duo of Reeds and Wilson foil a plot to assassinate Li, Li hires them to be his personal bodyguards. Now they're on the inside, and they team up with Cassandra (Barnes) to bring down the evil empire. They must do so before Li can annex the evil Fong Wai Hut (Foo) and his gang.

Additionally, since Master Pan (Quing Fu as himself) is a noble monk who won't take bribes from Li, and they are at odds, Wilson and Reeds go through rigorous training sessions at Pan's monastery. Here they learn the secret of the "Eagle Claw", which is not to be confused with the "Tiger Claw" from the other Blanks/Merhi production TC 2000 (1993). Master Pan commands an army of bald, white, mustachioed monks that really help out Wilson and Reeds. They're going to have to train hard to defeat Li's henchmen Khan (Hues) and Eric Lee (credited only as "bodyguard").

You've gotta love Billy Blanks' wide-eyed, childlike delivery of his lines. He has some great martial arts moves in the film as well - doesn't everyone kickbox with a white collared shirt buttoned all the way up? - luckily Blanks makes his trademark funny faces and sounds. Just look at the above picture. Gaze upon Blanks' facial expression for 10 seconds and try not to laugh. And that's just a still shot from the poster!

As far as Jalal Merhi (whose hair appears painted on, so we started calling him the Painted On Hair Guy), try to imagine a cross between Steven Seagal and comedian Nick DiPaolo. His "loose cannon" status mentioned earlier is clearly evident in his ponytail and leather outfit. As seen in Tough and Deadly (1995) Reeds loves hockey (this is Canada, don't forget) and Beethoven, and Wilson loves beer and urban R&B music.Will they ever be able to get along? Painted On Hair Guy is smarmy and unlikable, and his fighting is somewhat lackluster. Wilson even calls him, and I quote, a "Bubblehead". Does anyone know if he's related to PM's Joseph Merhi? It couldn't be a coincidence that there are two men named Merhi in the direct to video world, could it?

Matthias Hues as Khan snaps his fingers and commands a kung-fu army. With this one snap, he displays ten times the charm of Painted On Hair Guy and we remember why we love Hues. Seeing as the film is set in Toronto, they don't have to hide the fact that it actually is Toronto. That seems like a wise move. The extended (read: most of the movie) training sequences strongly recall the other Blanks vehicle Balance of Power (1996), especially the beach scenes.

For a professionally-made production featuring some familiar faces and, to quote the VideoHound book, "Featuring the most advanced fighting techniques ever filmed", and with a memorable title song by Jonas J. Patricko, do check out the silly fun of Talons of the Eagle.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Death Match (1994)

Death Match (1994)-* * *

Directed by: Joe Coppoletta

Starring: Matthias Hues, Martin Kove, Richard Lynch, Ian Jacklin, Jorge Rivero, Renee Allman (AKA: Ammann), Eric Lee, Nick Hill, Benny "The Jet" Urquidez and Steven Vincent Leigh




***400th Review***





 

For our 400th review celebration, we thought we'd invite a few friends over - namely, Matthias Hues, Richard Lynch, Jorge Rivero, Ian Jacklin, Renee Ammann, Martin Kove, Benny The Jet, Eric Lee and the rest of the large cast of Death Match. A special effort seems to have been made to get as many of the DTV actors of the time as possible in this production. Casting-wise, it truly was The Expendables (2010) of its day, and, inevitably it means that some cast members can only receive small roles. Due to time restrictions of course. Unless you think Death Match should be a four-hour-plus epic.

John Larson (Jacklin) and Nick Wallace (Hill) are just two blue-collar dock workers trying to make their living the old-fashioned way - by working hard. Their longshoreman jobs take them all around the country, and they end up in L.A. where Nick tries to make some extra bucks fighting in...wait for it...illegal, underground punch/kickfighting cage matches to the death! Did you think it would be some sort of computer game contest? Anyway, Nick starts fighting for the evil, unscrupulous fight promoter/gangster/gunrunner/lover of geodes and Twizzlers Paul Landis (Kove) and his associate/main fighter Mark Vanik (Hues). Unbeknownst to Nick, these guys are, well, evil and unscrupulous, and they expect the winners of their fights to kill, and the losers of their fights to die. Seeing as Nick is a nice guy and doesn't have that killer instinct, he refuses to kill his opponent in the ring. So naturally, after a brutal punch to the face by Vanik, they imprison him on their personal boat.

Seeing as how Larson and Wallace are best friends to the end, when Larson gets word that his buddy hooked up with Landis' organization and is now missing, he goes on the hunt for him. Of course this means that he has to join Landis' group and fight in order to get closer to the truth. Luckily, he was a former kickboxing champion that gave it up years ago. With help from reporter/love interest/eye candy Danielle Richardson (Ammann), scrappy street kid Tommy (Michele Krasnoo), and of course his Cosmo Kramer-like manager Lionel P. Bigman AKA "Big Man" (Bob Wyatt), will Larson find and rescue his friend?

Death Match is one of the better punchfighters out there, and has a little more substance than most. Thanks to the sprawling cast - there are even more B-movie names we didn't mention - Lisa London, John Sjogren, Brick Bronsky, Marcus Aurelius, Sheila Redgate and more - as well as the fast pace of the film, things never get boring. Also in the good news department, this is by far Ian Jacklin's best role we've seen. He actually does a good job carrying the movie, and as the lead role must have the usual barfights and torture scenes, and you care about him and his friend. Despite all we've seen before, we really liked Jacklin here.

But the real "Big Man" in this production isn't Lionel, it's the great Matthias Hues. He turns on his typical charm and wears a gigantic suit with a bolo tie. If he starts to take off his shirt/bolo tie - watch out. You are in trouble. Also, whatever you do, don't call him "goldilocks". Lynch steals the one scene he's in as the gangster Jimmy. Benny The Jet appears as himself, in one of his own gyms, as Larson's trainer. His advice comes in handy. Interestingly, in the female reporter wanting a story/hero teaming up with an L.A. street kid angle, Death Match resembles Streets of Rage (1994) of all things. Weird.

We really can't go through all the many characters and their ups and downs due to space restrictions, and there are some of the prerequisite silly moments, such as the "Chicanos with nunchuks" scene, but honestly this is an action B-movie fan's dream come true - and one of the better killfighting movies we've seen to date.

Note: Death Match is available in the U.K. on a two-for-one DVD with, strangely, The Robert Chapin classic Ring Of Steel (1994)! Go Figure.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Fists Of Iron (1995)

Fists Of Iron (1995)-* * *

AKA: Enter The Shootfighter

Directed by: Richard W. Munchkin

Starring: Michael Worth, Sam Jones, Nick Hill, Eric Lee, and Matthias Hues










Dale Hartwell (Worth) is an easygoing mechanic and single father with some impressive fighting skills. One day his friend Matt (Nick Hill) takes him to a ritzy mansion where "Peter Gallagher's All-Stars" (not related to the awesomely-eyebrowed actor\singer), fight in a backyard ring for big money cash prizes. Matt foolishly thinks he can go two minutes in the ring with hulking super-brute Victor "The Destroyer" Bragg (the always charming Hues). Bragg has the most arrogant name since Trevor Gottitall from American Shaolin: King of the Kickboxers II (1991). If you're the Victor, ya gotta Bragg.

Sadly, Matt dies of internal injuries and a heartbroken Dale vows retribution. So like C.J Thunderbird in Fist Fighter (1989) wanted a piece of "Rhino" (Hues), Dale wants a piece of Bragg (Hues).

Thankfully, Dale hangs out at the local watering hole, also frequented by Daniel & Tyler (Lee and Jones respectively), two former fighters with a history with Gallagher. They train Dale to take on the reigning champ in a series of montages. To get revenge for Matt, Dale must go up the ranks. (Dale fights the usual "Boxcar Joes", "Barts", and "Butchys" and the like at the CAR-U-RENT trucking stop). Add to this a ridiculous love triangle and the end result is pure Iron Gold.


There is a lot to love about Fists Of Iron: It has a lot more heart and character development than your average punchfighter. The main protagonists Worth, Jones and Lee are all likable and you care about their mission. Jones and Lee make a great comic team and there is a lot of humor in the film as a whole. (i.e. the subplot about a meathead refusing to pay for his fixed motor). Hues plays the evil villain with aplomb. (mid-film they change his name to Victor "The Giant" Bragg). Jones looks like Chuck Norris with his beard and wisdom. Every male in the movie except for Eric Lee has a square head. Where was Howie Long when you needed him?

Taking a cue from Shootfighter II (1995), Gallagher's fighters have their own pants. They are blue with white polka dots. The ring announcer screams (with no microphone) "Let's get ready to rumble!" Michael Buffer charges five million dollars to say this. This is copyright infringement and the filmmakers might be hearing from Buffer's lawyers soon. As for the softer sides of the movie, Worth looks way too young to have a daughter that looks about 12 years old herself. He looks 16 at best. As for the love interest, she is not very attractive and it's not believable that she would be the focal point of a love triangle between Dale and Gallagher. They should have gotten Shannon Tweed, Shannon Whirry, Joan Severance, Angie Everhart, or someone of that ilk to play the part.

In the one of the montages, Dale has to pick up a boulder from one of the many boulders in Tyler and Daniel's front yard. Then it's "Meathead in the stone" as Dale tries to be the chosen one. It is like The Karate Kid (1984), but interestingly, there are two Mr. Miyagis training him.

Richard W. Muchkin knows how to make a quality punchfighter. Just see Ring Of Fire (1991) for more evidence of his talent.

A cut above the average meathead flick, we recommend "Fists Of Iron".


Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett

Death Machines (1976)

Death Machines (1976)-* * *

Directed by: Paul Kyriazi

Starring: Ron Marchini, Chuck Katzakian, Michael Chong, Joshua Johnson, and Eric Lee










"Nothing and Nobody can stop them!"



"The Death Machines" are three men that dress in black and work for an Oriental woman with big hair. They know Kung-Fu and many other ways to kill. Also it is basically impossible to kill them. They are almost supernatural.

They are going around town killing gangsters in funny ways. Most notably, crushing a guy in a phone booth with a bulldozer. The head gangster meets with the Oriental lady and tries to convince her to have the Death Machines (or DM's for short) stop killing his men.

Soon there is a big brawl in a karate studio where the DM's kill everybody except one man who loses his hand in the fight. While in the hospital, he begins a romance with the nurse taking care of him. He then vows to get revenge on the Death Machines. Also, two detectives are assigned to the case to see what the heck is going on.

Could this be Ron Marchini's greatest role ever? The only thing he "says" in the movie is when he screams "Raaaaaa!!!" like a banshee. Other than that, it is a totally silent performance. He lets his ballet-like karate moves do all the talking. Marchini has never been more light on his feet and graceful. His Ron-Fu really shines in this effort.




There are a lot of great 70's suits and mustaches, and the keyboard soundtrack really stands out. There are some fun brawls and action sequences, including a scene with a certain fan-favorite weapon: a rocket launcher.

A memorable scene occurs when Marchini just wants to sit in a diner and very slowly eat his hamburger. Without any provocation on Marchini's part, a bunch of sleazy and crude bikers hassle him by calling him "Tarz'n" repeatedly. On the soundtrack there is a song about the holy trinity and then all three Death Machines kick into action and beat up all the bikers. Funnily enough, there is a biker who wears a jean jacket with no shirt underneath, and only the bottom snap is holding it all together.

Another worthy beat-em-up scene involves the guy with one hand (his one glove pre-dates Michael Jackson) and some local toughs who just want to trash their local watering hole. After turning over some tables and smashing the front window to pieces for no apparent reason, he punches Hand-man and he lies on the bar unconscious. There is a fountain behind him and it appears that the water is being spurted out his nose. His girlfriend comforts him, but the scene is very comical.



When the movie finally ends, there is an always-welcome freeze frame. But in a shocking twist, it overstays its welcome. There are no end credits at all, but the freeze frame is there for about the same length as the credits would be. So it is a very, very long shot of the Death Machines in their spiffy suits.

Interestingly, the trailer makes it seem like it is a futuristic sci-fi thriller. What it is, is a very fun, ridiculous, silly action-packed drive-in flick 70's style.

If you have any appreciation for this kind of movie, you will be sure to love "Death Machines"!


Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Ring Of Fire (1991)

Ring Of Fire (1991)-* * *

Directed By: Richard W. Munchkin

Starring: Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Maria Ford, Vince Murdocco, Michael Delano, Eric Lee and Gary Daniels












Ring Of Fire is an above-average beat-em-up but with a strong romantic component.  Highly watchable, think “Romeo & Juliet” but with more kicking.

“The Dragon” stars as Johnny Woo, a good-natured doctor who is constantly treating victims of white and Chinese gangs who are always getting into brawls both in and out of the ring. His brother Terry (Steven Vincent Leigh) is a professional martial artist who fights in the ring. The two brothers practice by their pool. Despite Johnny’s superior abilities he chooses to heal and not to fight. As he says, “You beat ‘em up, I patch ‘em up”.

Sgt. Lopez (Delano) is trying to break up the warring factions but is unsuccessful. Enter Julie (Ford) who listens to a fortune cookie and begins to fall in love with Johnny. The problem is she’s engaged to jerk Chuck (Murdocco) who coincidentally is a martial artist and hates Chinese people with a passion and is friends with Julie’s brother Brad. When Johnny and Terry’s pal who is the comic relief of the film, gets beat up by the evil white gang, Johnny and Terry are out for revenge.

The final battle involves a Ring Of Fire and attaching broken glass to your hands. Chuck is crazy enough to actually go through with it.

One of the most interesting aspects of the movie is the racial conflict and it’s not sugarcoated. Racial epithets are used incessantly.

What is worthy about ‘Fire is that you care about all the characters including their mothers and grandmothers which is unusual for an action movie. Sure, there is a shot of Aunt Mei which is so scary it will haunt your dreams, but usually she is kindly and dispenses wisdom.

For example, when the comic relief (Lee) gets beat up, you care because he stole the movie with one of the best lines: (“Have some of Bruce Lee’s favorite drink – Wataaaaaaahhhh!”) before he punches and kicks his opponent in the ring. Why aging, balding, overweight punks in their mid to late 40’s (except for Gary Daniels who is inexplicably hangin’ out with those dudes…) have nothing better to do than chase an innocent Asian man around Venice Beach in some in the same exact places as the classic Thrashin', (1986) and pull down his pants, the world may never know.

Brad looks like Vanilla Ice and has funny outfits. Brad and Chuck are stupid, unlikable oafs. Brad seals his fate as the ultimate jerk when he interrupts Julie’s aerobics class and slaps her in front of everybody. Contrast this with the tender romance with Johnny. They go to Chinese New Year festivities and they go the beach. We know Julie loves Johnny for his true self because at a masquerade ball, he is dressed as the phantom of the opera and the romance begins.



Brad and Chuck on the other hand look really gay with leather straps and skirts. Clearly Johnny is the winner here. The romance between Johnny and Julie take a dive when Julie shows up to a funeral wearing a black dress (and in Asian culture that is inappropriate.) Will Johnny and Julie triumph over racist evil? Find out today!

Wilson’s martial arts skills are slick but we could’ve seen more. Ring Of Fire spawned two sequels: Ring Of Fire II: Blood and Steel (1993) and Ring Of Fire 3: Lion Strike (1994).

Get into the “Ring” with this classic tonight!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett