Acceleration (2019)

 

Acceleration (2019)- * * *

Directed by: Daniel Zirilli and Michael Merino

Starring: Natalie Burn, Dolph Lundgren, Sean Patrick Flannery, Chuck Liddell, Quinton "Rampage Jackson, Sally Kirkland, and Danny Trejo






Vladik (Dolph) is a Los Angeles-based criminal mastermind. He has kidnapped a young tot named Mika (Mashukov) because he wants his mother Rhona (Burn) to run down a laundry list of his criminal enemies and either kill them, get something from them, beat them up, or some other task - all this in one grueling night for Rhona. With her beloved son's life hanging in the balance, Rhona will have to summon all her grit and tenacity as she faces a colorful cast of criminal characters such as mob boss Kane (Flanery), his top goon Hannibal (Liddell), Eli (Jackson), Santos (Trejo), among many others. There's also Richie (London), and sympathetic waitress Betty (Kirkland) - but will Rhona survive the night of her nightmares? More importantly, will Mika? And might there be one final twist in this tale?




We know what you're thinking. You're surprised Vinnie Jones and Bai Ling were not in the cast along with everyone else. Well, we were too, but Acceleration is pretty colorful without them - not just the varied cast of characters but the cinematography as well. There are lots of pinks, purples, greens, and neon hues. All this keeps Acceleration from feeling flat like a lot of its DTV brethren. So we've got to give it credit for that.




The simple, streamlined plot allows for the introduction of new characters one after another, and you don't know what you're going to get. Will it be a fight scene, a shootout, or simply a bit of brief dialogue? You don't actually know, which adds an edge of unpredictability to the proceedings. Natalie Burn puts in a good, tough performance that's easy to like. Comparisons to Gina Carano are perhaps unfair but it's hard for your mind not to go there at times. She's credited as a producer, and with casting, on the film and it's a nice showcase for her talent.




Sean Patrick Flanery plays the seemingly Tommy DeVito-influenced gangster with plenty of verve. If Flanery wasn't available, Tom Sizemore easily could have stepped in. Trejo, Rampage, London, and Kirkland all have cameos. Maybe in the case of Kirkland it's a glorified cameo. But Acceleration centers on Burn, with a secondary emphasis on Dolph, with a lot of Flanery in between. As far as Liddell, at least his voice isn't high-pitched, like certain other people we could name. The kid Mashukov holds his own with Dolph and it's pretty cute to watch. Mika could be the new Bin Bin.




Acceleration gives us some classic action movie cliches, such as characters searching for both a ledger and a disc, someone says "We got company!", and in the Trejo scene, there is dialogue to the effect of "We go way back, you and me". The puzzling thing about Acceleration is, after a stylish opening, and an adherence to maintaining that style throughout, plus an obvious dedication to the action genre, the filmmakers also decided on cringey CGI muzzle flashes for all the gun-shootin' scenes, which looks terrible and comes off looking stupid and lazy. Perhaps it's a minor quibble, but it comes into conflict with the style that the filmmakers have shown a tendency towards.




It was co-directed by the late Daniel Zirilli - who will forever be known as the man who made Phoenix (2023) - and Michael Merino, who also wrote the film. Why this is a co-direct we're not exactly sure, as both men seem quite capable on their own. But Acceleration is kind of a "By the Fans, For the Fans" type of DTV action movie and is more than simply "John Chick", as certain wags out there have labeled it. It's better than a lot of its competitors and, except for those muzzle flashes, appears to be trying to rise above its station, which we very much appreciated.




All wrapping up at a brisk 80 minutes before the credits roll, Acceleration is a solid and entertaining entry into the modern day DTV canon.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

The Stanger (1995)

 

The Stranger (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Fritz Kiersch 

Starring: Kathy Long, Eric Pierpoint, Danny Trejo, Ginger Lynn Allen, Nils Allen Stewart, and Andrew Divoff

In one of those dusty ol' western towns, a mysterious STRANGER rides in on her Harley. Known only as The Stranger (Long), she is looking for Angel (Divoff), the diabolical head of the local biker gang. Because Sheriff Gordon Cole (Pierpoint) is afraid of the bikers, they've slowly but surely proliferated in the small town. After noting that The Stranger looks exactly like a certain fiancee that was killed by the bikers, she then proceeds to get her own brand of personal revenge. If time allows, she'll also help some of the locals. But will the biker baddies - including Jonesy (Stewart) and Hawk (Trejo) - feel the wrath of some truly STRANGER things?


Kathy Long, from Rage and Honor (1992) and Under the Gun (1995), finally gets her own starring vehicle here, with The Stranger. People have said that it's a low-budget High Plains Drifter (1973) knockoff, but the Spaghetti Western-styled soundtrack would indicate that it's also influenced by the European Westerns that came decades before. It's also quite close in tone to Hell Riders (1984), or the type of thing that AIP was releasing at the time. You almost expect Rocky Patterson or Joe Estevez to pop up at any moment.


As for the cast that is here, Kathy Long is an appealing leading lady and this is clearly her moment in the sun. The Stranger certainly has no problem beating up the baddies. There actually should have been more of that. Ginger Lynn Allen was also a nice addition to the ensemble, and you know Nils Allen Stewart's character is evil because he has a threatening rattail. A young Danny Trejo rounds out the more familiar B-Movie names we all know and love.


The problem with the film is that the plot is so simple and minimalistic, it's hard to stretch that over 90 minutes or so. Without the addition of further plot twists or developments, or more action scenes, the energy really starts to flag around the halfway mark. Director Fritz Kiersch, known for his initial pair of 80's classics, Children of the Corn (1984) and Tuff Turf (1985), at first seems to be having fun with this small-scale film and its tough female lead. But perhaps he began to lose interest or something, because the second half lacks dynamism.


While it's certainly better than something like Lone Hero (2002), The Stranger doesn't seem to warrant its current status of "rare and sought-after movie". It's an easy fix: there should have been more concentration on Kathy Long beating up/killing people, perhaps in more locations than this one small Western town. What you do get of that is pretty great, But the film itself needed a shot in the arm after a certain point.


In the end, The Stranger is a worthwhile one-time watch, but we think that's about it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Maximum Impact (2017)

Maximum Impact (2017)- * *

Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Starring: Mark Dacascos, Kelly Hu, Polina Butorina, Alexander Nevsky, Bai Ling, Matthias Hues, Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Tom Arnold, and William Baldwin

When Secretary of State Robert Jacobs (Roberts) travels to Russia on an important mission, his teenage daughter Brittany (Butorina) tags along. The main reason she does this is so she can run off with a boy band pop star she’s been texting with. This seems like the ideal time for a baddie named Tony Lin (Dacascos) and his sidekick Ian (Hues) to kidnap her. 

After a lot of bumbling around, they finally manage to do this, and so an American CIA (?) agent named Kate (Hu) has to team up with a Russian FSB strongman named Maxim Kadurin (Nevsky) to save the girl, and, if time allows, her date. As if that wasn’t enough, a criminal mastermind of some sort named Sanchez (Trejo) and his goons are causing trouble all over Russia. How do Barnes (Arnold), Scanlon (Ling), and, perhaps most enigmatically, “Man In Shadows” (Baldwin) all fit into this picture?

Much like director Bartkowiak’s prior Exit Wounds (2001), Maximum Impact is a mix of action and comedy that features Tom Arnold. The emphasis this time around seems firmly on the side of comedy, even though there are some silly and not entirely serious fight scenes and some car chases, both of which appear to be green screen-enhanced. Stick with Exit Wounds. Or, also featuring Dacascos, Drive (1997).

The jokey tone and childish dialogue start to get tiresome after a while, and expecting the viewer to tolerate this over the course of an inexcusable 109-minute running time is just asking too much. On the plus side, it has a lot of energy and a fast pace, but it just goes on and on too long. 

Yes, there are fruit cart chases and a lovely framed Eric Roberts picture on the wall, but on the other end of the spectrum there are green screen missiles and helicopters, teenagers texting, and dialogue that mentions Instagram and Snapchat. Have we really fallen that far from Charles Bronson blowing away the bad guys with a rocket launcher? If this is truly the state of action in 2017, we’ll stick with the old classics, please.

There are too many people in the cast to really break down fully, but let’s just say this is a classic case of Lone Tiger Effect. Hell, it even has Matthias Hues, as if to underline the point that much more. Did all these people know they were signing on for a goofy comedy? It has all the Bartkowiak trademarks, such as putting hip hop beats under the dialogue scenes, and a wacky coda during the credits. 

William Baldwin just makes wacky faces into a screen. There’s a place called Grump International Plaza. Tom Arnold’s running gag is about his bladder. We could go on, but we won’t. That being said, Alexander Nevsky somehow manages to come out of all this relatively unscathed. Maybe that’s because he’s credited as a producer on the film.

Comedies and action movies shouldn’t be more than 90 minutes. Don’t filmmakers know this by now? Maximum Impact wears out its welcome quickly and leaves minimal impact on the viewers.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Shadows In Paradise (2010)

Shadows In Paradise (2010)- * *

Directed by: J. Stephen Maunder

Starring: Mark Dacascos, Sofya Skya, Tom Sizemore, Danny Trejo, Bruce Boxleitner, Vernon Wells, Steven Bauer, Andrew Divoff, and Armand Assante

Max Forrester (Dacascos) is fighting in Iraq alongside Sasha Villanoff (Skya). As a fellow soldier and Max’s girlfriend, he feels especially inclined to protect her from the baddies all around her. Max is put to the test when Sasha disappears. He tracks her to a place called Paradise Island, found somewhere in the middle east. 

During the course of their perilous journey, they uncover an illegal arms-smuggling ring run by some corrupt soldiers called Shadow Company. Since Shadow Company is on PARADISE Island, that explains the title of the movie. Meanwhile, Col. Bunker (Sizemore) and Captain Dyer (Boxleitner) are at odds because of the activities of Captain John Santos, who goes by the code name of “Ghost” (Assante). 

Could he have something to do with the arms smuggling? Or could it be Matador (Trejo), Stronach (Divoff), General Ruth (Wells), or Agent Stubbs (Bauer)? While we desperately want to invest some intrigue into all of this, we really just wanted to highlight all the names involved here. Will the hot middle eastern sun eradicate all the SHADOWS IN PARADISE? And who else will be eradicated?

Shadows In Paradise is such a textbook example of what we call the Lone Tiger Effect (for those who don’t know, it’s when a movie features a bunch of the B-Movie names we all know and love – so we think the movie itself is going to be good – but it turns out to not be so hot) that we should really consider changing it to the Shadows In Paradise Effect. Yes, all our favorite people are present and accounted for but…at what cost? In other words, while it was enjoyable to see all our cinematic buddies all together in one film, we were disappointed at the final result. Which makes things all the more disappointing.


That being said, this movie is just too darn silly to really hate. While the overall feel is one of those modern-day DTV “Seal Team” movies (i.e. junky and none too involving), and the muzzle flashes on the guns are roughly on par with the ones in Hangfire (1991) (i.e. really stupid and fake looking), once you see Tom Sizemore’s “acting”, you want to say to the movie, in a loving and forgiving tone, “I can’t stay mad at you…”


Is it any wonder, then, that with the incoherent mumblings of Armand Assante, layered with the incoherent ramblings of Tom Sizemore, that the movie as a whole is, well…incoherent? Thankfully, Sofya Skya is on board, but Assassins Run (2013) offers up a better example of what she can do. She does sing the theme song, “Don’t Break My Heart”, but with its 90’s Lilith Fair vibe, even that indicates she is capable of better. She should have followed the example of Natalie Burn and done more of a rocker.

There’s a bunch of beat-ups and shooting, and even some light prerequisite torture, but what else would you expect from director Maunder, whose only other directorial credits are Tiger Claws II (1996) and Tiger Claws III (2000)? Trejo, Bauer, Wells, and Divoff – enough to carry a movie in their own right – have glorified cameos. We believe Bruce Boxleitner was here, but it could have been Barry Bostwick. We’re still not sure. 

In the end, Shadows In Paradise is a lightweight and unfortunate example of a modern-day DTV actioner. While we were happy to see all the great cast members, to say they weren’t all used to their full potential is an understatement. It’s all pretty disposable. Bring us back to the 80’s any day.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Champions (1997)

Champions (1997)- * *

Directed by: Peter Gathings Bunche

Starring: Louis Mandylor, Danny Trejo, Jeff Wolfe, Lee Reherman, George "Buck" Flower, Bobbie Blackford, Kool Keith, and Ken Shamrock

William Rockman (Mandylor) was a professional fighter who decided to become a Martial Arts instructor for children after accidentally killing an opponent in a tragic training accident. When Congress outlaws UFC-style underground fighting (is this supposed to take place in the future?), it morphs into something called “Terminal Combat”, a far deadlier sport (and should have been the title for this movie). When Rockman’s brother Ray Rockman (Wolfe) is killed by reigning Brakus/Tong Po-style super-evil baddie The King (Shamrock), well…you might find this surprising, but William comes out of retirement to get revenge for his fallen brother. It just so happens that unscrupulous Terminal Combat promoter Max Brito (Trejo) is staging the biggest contest yet – a multi-billion dollar fight extravaganza broadcast by satellite. He gets fighters from all over the country, imprisons them in his lair, puts chips in their necks so he can control them, and forces them to fight to the death for amusement and big bucks. But they didn’t count on one thing – the scrappy and tenacious William Rockman. He now has to corral the other remaining, non-dead fighters to break out of prison and save the day. Will their fate be terminal…or will they come out as CHAMPIONS?

Watching Champions is the Punchfighting equivalent of what a doctor must feel like when they are observing a patient fighting for life who is hooked up to an Electrocardiograph machine. There are long stretches of a flatline where the doctor must despair that the patient is dying, but occasionally it will spike up, and excitement must ensue that there is life left in the patient yet. In other words, there are some commendable things about Champions, but the movie is too damn long at 98 minutes. This stretches out the better aspects and unnecessarily makes them fewer and farther between. If it were streamlined and the lead weight taken out, this movie could almost be a minor classic. If it were 80 minutes long, we’d really have a winner here.

Okay, so it was the 90’s, Ken Shamrock is involved, and it’s what you might call the “early days” of UFC. Most of the fight scenes are like live-action versions of the classic video game Pit Fighter, but with sillier pants (or lack thereof - see cover above). Most of the fighters and fans shout “Yeeeaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!” a lot. This must be why these underground Punchfights to the death are so heavily traded on “black market VHS”, and/or why George “Buck” Flower is involved (perhaps they gave him an Irish accent here to distinguish him from Randall “Tex” Cobb).

As far as our hero is concerned, it appears that Louis Mandylor is physically shrinking more and more as the movie goes on. If you compare his height to the other people in the movie, it appears he devolves to Tom Cruise-level proportions as proceedings roll on. He also narrates it, presumably for people who find the story too hard to follow. To add more unnecessary plot, it appears he has a history with “The King”, there’s a love interest between him and fellow fighter Kimberly Pepatone (Blackford, a Paget Brewster lookalike who you might remember from “Force”-ful productions like Total Force and The Silent Force), and a fighter who looks as if David Letterman was younger, and a meathead – who also has a love interest. This guy, who we’ll call David LetterMeat, is played by Lee Reherman – a very similar last name to Letterman. Coincidence?

Danny Trejo is engaging as the promoter Max Brito, although it sounds like other people are either calling him “Lance Ito” (it was the 90’s, after all. Maybe Judge Ito promotes underground fighting on the side. What a thought), or “Max Burrito”, which might be horrendously racist. A good chunk of Trejo’s dialogue consists of him giving an extended maniacal laugh. Speaking of which, the “corrupt politician on the take”, subplot – yet another subplot – was one of the better ones and should have replaced some of the lesser ones. 

Another bit of the storyline, that Pepatone is a fighter who takes out her repressed anger that stems from a prior assault on her opponents, could be a movie in itself. It was another strand that was undeveloped, which in this case might be good because we didn’t want Champions to be over three hours long.

At least the fighters are skilled and enthusiastic, and have their own individual personalities. It’s not a mush of meandering meatheads like in later movies of this sort. It all comes to an entertaining and enjoyable climax, which should have come much earlier, because at that point the viewer’s attention has flagged. The sight of Ken Shamrock dressed in not much more than a red wrestling Speedo while screaming and shooting a machine gun amidst a hail of gunfire, explosions, and guard tower falls is nothing short of awesome, but you have to swim the Sargasso sea to get there.

One of the aspects of Champions that adds a level of interest is the fact that rapper Kool Keith is in a couple of scenes for no conceivable reason. He even has an encounter with a confrontational meathead that has “Jesus Saves” tattooed on his chest. So, all is not lost. In other music news, the end credits has a list of bands involved, but no song titles or other information. The list is as follows: Civil Rite, Mother, Try, Faded, Corporate Dick, and Black Ass ID. Maybe they supposed the band names speak for themselves.

In the end, Champions does indeed have some bright spots and noteworthy aspects, but they’re spread awfully thin over an overly-extended running time. The verdict has to be that we would recommend the movie to Punchfighting fans with a lot of patience.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

The Replacement Killers (1998)

The Replacement Killers (1998)- * * *

Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Chow-Yun Fat, Mira Sorvino, Michael Rooker, Kenneth Tsang, Jurgen Prochnow,  Patrick Kilpatrick, Til Schwiger, Clifton Gonzalez-Gonzalez (aka) Collins Jr., James Lew, Al Leong, and Danny Trejo










John Lee (Yun-Fat) is an expert marksman/gunman/assassin/gun enthusiast who works for crime lord Mr. Wei (Tsang). All his life he’s followed the orders of his superiors, but when his latest hit is meant to be carried out not just on a hardworking cop named Zedkov (Rooker), but also his seven-year-old son, Lee finds he can’t pull the trigger. In order to disappear and get back to his family in China, he needs forged documents, so he goes to see Meg Coburn (Sorvino), an expert in such things. 

Soon enough, Wei sends many waves of goons to kill off the unlikely duo. When an underboss, Kogan (Prochnow), can’t kill them fast enough, Wei sends for “The Replacement Killers” - played in the movie by Schweiger and Trejo - to kill not just Zedkov but also Lee and Coburn. This all sets the stage for lots and lots of gun shooting. Who will get killed and who will get replaced? Find out today...

It seems pretty obvious, especially looking back now, that The Replacement Killers was an attempt to bring John Woo-style action to Hollywood. Woo did act as executive producer, after all, but did not direct the film. That, in this case, went to Fuqua, and this was his first feature-length production after a career making MTV videos in the 90’s, and it really, really shows. 

There is a lot of style and flash, but not much of a narrative structure, as you might expect from a background like that, and certainly on someone’s first attempt. (Evidently there was more character development at one point, but it was left on the cutting room floor). If this all sounds like negative criticism, it’s not. The movie is lightweight and entertaining, and without a doubt it delivers the action goods.

Chow-Yun Fat is one of the coolest cats around, and no one looks more awesome shooting guns or putting on sunglasses. In the 90’s there was an attempt by Hollywood to also put Jackie Chan in theaters, and that was appreciated, but seemingly did not last long. We, of course, enjoyed seeing Operation Condor (1997) and Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) on the big screen. If it could be done with Kung Fu, why not Gun-Fu? And who better to play the classic “killer with a conscience” than Chow-Yun Fat? With endless gun battles and slo-mo moments (slo-moments?...actually that would be misleading as there are no slow moments in the film), all set to the sounds of the prerequisite late-90’s electronica such as Tricky, The Crystal Method and Death in Vegas (apparently Portishead was unavailable), how can you lose? If you’re a fan of action setpieces (and who isn’t), you don’t.

Such things as described above were tried unsuccessfully before, i.e. Killing Time (1998), but, thankfully, The Replacement Killers gets the simply-plotted assassin shooting movie right. There’s enough cannon fodder for the good guys to shoot at and it never really lets up. 

Backing up Fat and Sorvino is an impressive cast of Comeuppance favorites: Michael Rooker as the cop, Danny Trejo as one of the Replacement Killers, the fascinatingly-named Clifton Gonzalez-Gonazalez (AKA Clifton Collins Jr.)  is the “Machine Gun Joe” character, Patrick Kilpatrick as a baddie, Jurgen Prochnow as another baddie (looking a lot like Robert Davi here), and, in blink-or-you’ll-miss them goon roles, action mainstays James Lew and Al Leong. And at only 84 minutes without the credits, it all comes in at a good running time. More movies - hell, ALL movies - should be 84 minutes. Kudos to the production for a reasonable length here.

So while wags may complain that there’s not much substance and the whole thing is like an extended music video, those people are missing the point. There’s no time to waste as The Replacement Killers remains fast-paced, enjoyable fun.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

The Last Hour (1991)

The Last Hour (1991)- * *

Directed by: William Sachs

Starring: Michael Pare, Shannon Tweed, Robert Pucci, Bobby Di Cicco, Robert Miano, and Danny Trejo












Susan (Tweed) and Eric Drake (Pucci) seemingly have the perfect life. Eric’s a successful stockbroker and the two live in the lap of luxury. However, it’s all built on some shady dealings, as Eric very, very stupidly stole five million dollars from the mafia. So mob boss Lombardi (Di Cicco) kidnaps Susan, and with the help of his goons, which include Frankie (Miano) and Spider (Trejo), spirit her away to a hiding place in a big skyscraper until Eric can come up with the money in return for her freedom. But Eric is a nerdy nebbish who has never shot a gun in his life. So he calls upon Susan’s ex-husband Jeff Flynn (Pare), who, despite similarities in their names, was never a member of ELO. 

Jeff is a cop, a toughguy, and a quasi-belligerent meathead, so he can go in and get the job done. So despite some awkwardness about their personal lives, the two men team up to save the woman they both love. But can they do it?

Hmmm, a movie about a rugged hero who is fighting his way up a high-rise building to save someone, who communicates to the lead baddie by walkie-talkie, wears a tanktop and has to fight through goons (mainly a blonde hench-person - in this case it’s the token female baddie). Doesn’t seem familiar at all. Of course, it’s time for the video store staple, the “DieHardInA” movie, but this time they didn’t even change the location. It’s still a building. 

The only tweaks are that there’s only one hostage - Shannon Tweed - and there are two men trying to save her. One is a blockheaded, mullet-headed meathead, and the other’s a dweeb. They’re the original odd couple! Their squabbling is more annoying than productive, and honestly, the two dudes aren’t that likable. This keeps the audience from truly caring that much.

The main bad guy isn’t that menacing, which is a problem (the female baddie was more intimidating), and the goons are hapless. There wasn’t much of a threat for audiences to get that invested in. We’re not even going to criticize the movie for lack of originality this time. We’re beyond caring about that. It’s not that The Last Hour is bad, it’s just really, really dumb. Many brain-numbingly idiotic things happen during the course of the film.

But sometimes those things lead to unintentional laffs. For instance, there’s a really flimsy excuse for Michael Pare to get shirtless, and no excuse for Danny Trejo to get, and remain, shirtless. Why these two men needed to be shirtless at all remains completely unexplained. So we laughed at that, for example.

Some more goons for Pare to kill, and more locations besides just the one building would have elevated the movie immensely, much like the many scenes in elevator shafts herein. That way all the rampant dumbness wouldn’t be confined to minimal locations, the stupidity could have run wild and free. But there is a slo-mo shootout for absolutely no reason, and the time-honored sax on the soundtrack, firmly placing it in its place and time. I.e., a video store shelf which patrons peruse by, but fail to notice.

Quite possibly the best part of the Academy VHS are the two trailers included before the movie. They are Edge of Honor (1991) and Prayer of the Rollerboys (1990), proving that the two Coreys were still livin’ the dream at this point in history. As for The Last Hour, the plot couldn’t be more simplistic - the guys have to rescue the girl. End of plot - but it seems only fans of DieHardInA movies of the day (are there any out there?) will really get anything out of this particular outing.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)- * * *

Directed by: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Charles Bronson, Kay Lenz, John P. Ryan, Soon-Tek Oh, Perry Lopez, Dana Barron, George Dickerson, Mike Moroff, and Danny Trejo











Having seemingly retired from vigilante-ing, Paul Kersey (Bronson) continues with his architecture work. He’s in a loving relationship with reporter Karen Sheldon (Lenz), and he has a great relationship with her daughter, Erica (Barron). But the streets keep calling Kersey back, as a new wave of drug violence, primarily cocaine and crack, are causing havoc in L.A. 

When Erica becomes a victim, Kersey snaps back into his old ways, and soon punks everywhere are fearing the name Frank Lloyd Wright...er...Kersey. Apparently, his reputation precedes him, as a wealthy bigwig (Ryan) hires him to work his magic on two rival gangs, one run by Zacharias (Lopez) and the other by Romero (Moroff). Kersey then pits the two gangs against each other, thereby cleaning the streets in the process. 

But two cops, Reiner and Nozaki (Dickerson and Oh, respectively) are watching Kersey’s every move. You’d think they’d appreciate the help, but anyway, Kersey must go it alone against the evildoers of the night. Can he do it...again?

You’ve gotta love Bronson and the Death Wish series, and this installment makes it easy to see why fans have such loyalty. It’s a very enjoyable movie, that simultaneously stays current, shrewdly using the then-current crack epidemic to leverage another series installment, while maintaining an awesome “anti-young punk” attitude later perfected by Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino (2008). Bronson and director Thompson , while technically eligible for their AARP cards, prove the point that young punks suck and old badasses rule. 

Plus we liked the idea that at this point in his vigilante career, he might consider hanging it up, but he ends up working for someone else. We thought that was a cool way to advance the series-wide plotline. From the second he says “I feel like she’s my own daughter”, about Erica, we know...it’s on.

Plus it’s great to see him in a variety of different situations - a lot of which are hugely nostalgic to 80’s buffs like us - such as a video store (with posters for fellow Cannon titles Breakin’ - interestingly it’s for its title Breakdance - and Field of Honor, among others) and not just an arcade, with Spy Hunter and other games, but a combination roller rink/arcade, as a separate location. It doesn’t get any more awesome if you’re looking for a cool place to hang out in the 80’s. But when Kersey rips through with his machine gun while chasing the baddies, you know he cares not for frivolous fun, he’s out for blood.

Well-directed by the veteran Thompson, with a nice pace and plenty of cool moments, Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (get it? Crack? Crackdown? Eh?), released by Media, proves to be a reliable winner.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Desert Heat (1999)

Desert Heat (1999)- *

Directed by: John G. Avildsen

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Pat Morita, Danny Trejo, Bill Erwin, David 'Shark' Fralick, Larry Drake, Paul Koslo, Gregory Scott Cummins, Vincent Schiavelli, Jeff Kober, Jaime Pressly, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick, and Ford Rainey









Eddie Lomax (Van Damme) is a mysterious stranger who comes to a dusty ol’ California town. When some local good old boys called the Hogan family, not to be confused with the delightful 80’s sitcom, assault him and leave him for dead, Eddie’s buddy, Johnny Six Toes (Trejo) nurses him back to health.

 Lomax then makes it his mission to get revenge on the Hogans, and one of his main methods of doing that is to pit a faction of other local no-good-niks against them. Lomax must be a big movie buff, because we’ve all seen that plan so many times before. He then enlists the help of Jubal Early (Morita), a nice man who annoyingly repeats all his sentences, the crotchety old man Eli Hamilton (Erwin) and the inexplicably Indian road house owner Singh (Schiavelli) to help him out. The owners of the local diner, the Reynolds family - Dottie, Rhonda, and the prerequisite Pop (Pressly, Fitzpatrick and Rainey, respectively) all love Eddie and get behind his mission quickly, and of course there’s some predictable romance between Rhonda and Eddie. Will Lomax ever turn up the DESERT HEAT?

At this point in his career, Van Damme was in a rut. After a long string of either good or successful movies, he went on to make the awful Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) and then Desert Heat, his first DTV effort after he was exiled from movie theaters. 

Despite a virtual all-star/all character actor cast, Desert Heat is a dud that’s pretty hard to sit through. The plot is yet another tired run-through of Yojimbo (1961), or, if you prefer, A Fistful of Dollars (1964), or perhaps Django (1966), Savage Dawn (1985) or the more recently-released at the time Last Man Standing (1996), or any other possible options. This movie adds nothing whatsoever to the tale, it’s just a tired rehash. At least similar DTV films like Steel Frontier (1995), Digital Man (1995), or Missionary Man (2007) tried to inject something different into the formula. Desert Heat - which based on its forebears should have been called “Desert Man” - does no such thing.

The whole outing starts on an irritating note and it’s hard to recover. It’s Van Damme spewing a bunch of nonsense as a “tilty-cam” swirls around him. It was the late 90’s after all, so there had to be things like this, and the fact that the movie is annoyingly self-aware (a character asks Dottie if she wants to go see Yojimbo in the theater...groan) hurts the final product. Desert Heat is populated with underdeveloped characters you just don’t care about, and, coupled with the movie’s lack of any originality whatsoever, makes it lose any kind of force or interest for the viewer.

 After the intro, which will unfortunately remind viewers of Bloodmatch (1991) of all things, it never seems to gain much momentum and it’s easy to see why director Avildsen took his name off the movie (even though it’s still in the end credits anyway - just another facet of the shoddy nature of the film). From Rocky (1976) to Desert Heat? Interesting career trajectory...

As far as the baddies, there are some familiar names - Larry Drake, Jeff Kober, Paul Koslo and Gregory Scott Cummins, among others. That’s one of the real shames of Desert Heat. It took a killer cast and reduced it to this crud. There are even a handful of potentially cool scenes - but if you don’t care about the characters or their plight, they don’t amount to much. 

Apparently, Van Damme’s behind the scenes meddling caused the mess we see today. Just what he wanted to change, why he thought the version after the changes was better, or how he was allowed to have that much power over the final film remain unanswered questions. But the end result is that Desert Heat is a slog and one of the weakest Van Dammes.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups by our buddies, DTVC, and The Video Vacuum!

Urban Justice (2007)

Urban Justice (2007)- * * *

Directed by: Don E. FauntLeRoy

Starring: Steven Seagal, Eddie Griffin, Jade Yorker, and  Danny Trejo


 "When Revenge is personal, justice can be brutal."









Simon Ballister (Seagal) is distraught since the shooting death of his son. His son was a cop in the ‘hood, so naturally, Ballister goes to said ‘hood and rents a downtrodden apartment so he can live amongst the urban folk, aka racial and ethnic minorities. He then proceeds to do more damage to Blacks and Latinos than any racist skinhead could ever dream to. In his quest for revenge, he discovers that crime lord/drug dealer/Scarface (1983) enthusiast (duh), Armand Tucker (Griffin) might be the key. After seeking help from his buddy Chivo (Trejo), Ballister goes after Tucker in a no-holds-barred quest for URBAN JUSTICE.

This Seagal outing was a lot of fun. Make sure you watch it in a group like we did for best results. You know when the cynical Seagal is playing the Urban Cowboy and speaking in “Ebonics” that you’re in for a raucous good time. For the movie as a whole, try to imagine a poor man’s Dark Blue (2002) or Street Kings (2008). Trying to capitalize on those great James Ellroy-penned tales but with Seagal in the lead is a guarantee for pure silliness, and Urban Justice doesn’t disappoint in that department.

And while Jade Yorker deserves special merit as Gary in this film, despite what you think of Seagal, and despite what you think of Urban Justice in particular, Eddie Griffin rules this movie. He has a lot of energy and funny dialogue, and he seems to be giving his all. So top marks go to Mr. Griffin, whose performance acts as a motor that propels the whole movie along. 

By comparison, the sluggish Seagal is mainly dead weight (write your own joke). The movie could have used much more Danny Trejo as well, as his screen time is pretty limited. He and Seagal don’t even fight, they just talk for a few minutes. A definite wasted opportunity there.

On the technical side, the squibs used in the gunshot scenes are pretty over the top...but then again, we’ve never seen someone be shot in real life, so for all we know, it could look like an entire pitcher of Kool-aid explodes out of your back. We just don’t know. We’re trusting director FauntLeRoy for our ballistic information here. Mainly because we only trust people with three capital letters in their last name.

Plus there are way too many extreme close-ups of Seagal’s face here. Not just close-ups. EXTREME close-ups where his giant mug fills the entirety of your screen. Whether he demands this, or FauntLeRoy thinks it’s integral to the storytelling, we don’t know. But the natural human instinct is to yell “too close! Too close!” Honestly, no one needs to get that close to Seagal.

So if you’ve ever wanted to see Steven Seagal in the ghet-to (to use the Bill Cosby pronunciation) and communicating with his fellow homies on “their level” (predating Steven Seagal: Lawman), this is the movie for you.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out write-ups by our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

Beatdown (2010)

Beatdown (2010)-* *

Directed by: Mike Gunther

Starring: Rudy Youngblood, Susie Abromeit, Michael Bisping, Mike Swick, Bobby Lashley, Heath Herring, Eric Balfour, and Danny Trejo











Brandon (Youngblood) is a tough street brawler whose brother Frankie is killed by gangsters. Now the gangsters are after Brandon for the 40,000 dollars his brother owed. Brandon then flees to a small Southern town where he develops a romance and also lives with his paraplegic father (Trejo). It's not long before Brandon enters the underground Punchfighting circuit where the reigning champion is Victor Dean (Balfour). It turns out the burgeoning romance is with Dean's sister Erin (Abromeit), and Victor's not happy. Brandon moves up the ranks and eventually faces off against Victor. Who will win?

The biggest problem with this movie is the editing. There are weird, unnecessary cuts, as well as puzzling camera zooms and spins. The fights are pretty brutal when you can see them, as there are plenty of blood-soaked fences (yes, fences!) to show the extreme nature of the fighting. Also quite extreme is the now-prerequisite playing of the song "Wildfire in the Streets" by Tommy Fields. Surely the makers of all these modern-day Punchfighters must have known that fans don't watch just one of these things. If you like one, you probably will like them all, and fans would notice the constant reappearance of Tommy Fields.

The plot is also haphazard, as there is a quick setup with the gangster Gino Ganz which kind of falls by the wayside until much later. All the cliches you know and love are present and accounted for - the training sequence and the silly love story, with its insipid dialogue. There's plenty of "Barnfighting", as Southern "redneck" stereotypes are beaten by Youngblood. There's, inexplicably, a TapouT octagon in the middle of a state fair in the deep south. Their tentacles reach from there to prisons everywhere, as Locked Down (2010) proves.

Youngblood is relatively likable, but as you might expect, Danny Trejo is the best actor in the movie. He seems like he doesn't care, but it could be his character.

If only the directing and editing were competent, this would be a not-bad modern-day Punchfighter. As it stands, Beatdown is not really a success.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Bail Out (1989)

Bail Out (1989)-* *
AKA: W.B., Blue and the Bean

Directed by: Max Kleven

Starring: David Hasselhoff, Linda Blair, John Vernon, Gregory Scott Cummins, George "Buck" Flower, and Danny Trejo




Bail Out is a silly action/adventure/comedy which isn't very funny, at least not intentionally. The original title "W.B., Blue and the Bean" (which appears after the end credits, while "Bail Out" is the title in the opening credits. Did they forget to change it?) should give some indication of the movie's intentions.

Roger "White Bread" Donaldson (or W.B. for short) (The Hoff) is a part-time tennis instructor and part-time bounty hunter. He has two associates - you guessed it - Mason "Blue" Walcott (Tony Brubaker) and, of course, The Bean (Tom Rosales). When heiress Nettie Ridgeway (Blair) is abducted by drug lords (led by Cummins of Action U.S.A. (1989) fame as Zaldizar) and spirited away to Mexico, it's up to our three heroes to save the day. They have to get her to court on time in order to collect a million dollars. The three buddies want to open their own bail bondsmanship so they can stop working for the haranguing Aram Haronian, their boss. Will they succeed?

While it is funny to see the mighty Hasselhoff with his mullet and giant cell phone hamming it up for all the world to see, and an attempt is made at politically-incorrect humor ("these guys drive worse than the Orientals!", "Roasted Colombians, nothin' finer!", etc.) sadly it all seems a bit forced and unfunny. Once they get to Mexico, there is a stereotype Mexican character that is very, very annoying. The movie was already on pretty thin ice by then, and the addition of this character did not help at all.



There are some car chases, shootouts and horseback riding, and the cast is full of familiar faces such as Trejo, Flower, the Hoff, Blair, and a surprising appearance by Gregory Scott Cummins as the drug lord. We were so used to seeing him as the all-American good guy from Action U.S.A. He truly has a lot of versatility. John Vernon is also on hand as Linda Blair's father. What is he truly up to?

Nothing really weird or truly noteworthy happens in Bail Out. It's all pretty standard fare, so stupid at times it almost insults the audience's intelligence. We know it's a direct to video movie starring The Hoff, but come on. Give us some credit here. But then again it was directed by Max Kleven, the "mastermind" behind Fugitive Champion (1997). At least Chip Mayer was nowhere in sight. So if you can survive all the groaners for jokes and some middling action, you MAY be entertained by Bail Out if you are in the right mood (i.e., a really goofy mood).

Bail Out was released on VHS in the U.S. on the great Vestron label. We couldn't find any commercially-released version of the film under the "W.B. Blue and the Bean" moniker. If you have a picture of that, please send it in.

NOTE: Because there are so many boxcovers for this title, we have decided to change things up and are pleased to present...the BAIL OUT GALLERY! Enjoy!


















Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Bulletproof (1988)

 Bulletproof (1988)-* * *

Directed by: Steve Carver

Starring: Gary Busey, Henry Silva, Darlanne Fluegel, Thalmus Rasulala, Danny Trejo and L.Q. Jones







"Improbable Odds. Unstoppable Force."



I know it might seem hard to believe, but there once was a time when Gary Busey had a boyish charm and could have been an action star and wasn't known as a crazy guy and late-night comedian punchline. To witness this prime Busey, simply check out "Bulletproof" (not to be confused with the 1996 film where Adam Sandler shoots people).

Busey plays Frank "Bulletproof" McBain, a rogue, but lovable Cop On The Edge, or COTE for short. He's teamed up with the original Blacula himself, Thalmus Rasulala. One of McBain's talents is he is able to withstand being shot, and he saves all the bullets he's been shot with in a jar in his bathroom. Meanwhile, somewhere in Mexico, a terrorist network of "Mexicans, Nicaraguans and A-rabs" are all working in collusion to take over the world using a supertank called the NBT-90 Thunderblast.

The evil Colonel Kartiff (Silva) and General Brogado (Rene Enriquez) are heading up the operation, so Special Ops Military Adviser Sgt. O'Rourke (Jones) and army officer Devon Shepard (Fluegel) go south of the border to investigate. They, along with some of their army buddies and a group of priests and nuns are kidnapped and held hostage by the evildoers. Only one man can save his compatriots (and Devon, his long-lost love)...MCBAIN of course! And did we mention there are also evil Russians McBain has to stop?


In the 80's, you couldn't be the hero in an action movie and not be wisecracking. Most of Busey's lines are snappy one-liners, such as "what's this Tonka toy?", "I'm a one-man suicide squad!", and he even pioneered his own insult - the immortal "Butthorn". He inexplicably says this word THREE times during the movie. I guess it didn't catch on.

There are some sensitive flashbacks, and Devon even says to him "you may be bulletproof but you're not love proof". The movie on the whole is fun, upbeat and there is plenty of humor. Henry Silva plays an Islamic extremist, and the enemies are "communist-inspired terrorists". I guess it was pretty ahead of its time.

Surely this was one of the only times Fred Olen Ray (who wrote the story) got a movie released by a major studio. What would the world be like today if all his movies were?




A movie highlight is when Busey is tied to a big circular thing that looks like a huge cheese wheel. Watch out for this scene. So if you want to see a movie where Gary Busey is a lovable supercop and ladies man, and before he was crazy (well, really crazy) in a movie with plenty of heart, sax solos and blow-ups, and a mixed bag of world villains, this is the movie for you.



Comeuppance Review by: Brett & Ty

Point Blank (1998)

Point Blank (1998) -*

Directed By: Matt Earl Beasley

Starring: Mickey Rourke, James Gammon, Paul Ben-Victor, Fredric Forrest, and Danny Trejo










This movie won't be confused with the Lee Marvin classic of the same name. For good reason. It gives straight to video a bad name and gives the 90s a black eye.

This is one bad film. With clumsy editing, terrible performances and rip-offs galore! One of the major missteps is the editing. Rourke's character Rudy is a supposed "Karate Master" but when he does a roundhouse kick to a guy it first cuts to the foot then jaggedly cuts to Rourke killing him. Rudy from The Cosby show has better moves than this guy.


This is Rourke's monotone years, where you need subtitles to hear what's he's saying. If you somehow hear the wretched dialogue he's reciting, mute the TV. It is better without the sound anyway. Let's also not forget how "roided" up Rourke is. Are you kidding me? All that boxing really did damage his brain. Danny Trejo gets shot like 15 times (twice in the HEAD!) and he's wearing a motorcycle jacket! Just don't watch this film unless you're having a party and everybody is drunk.


Comeuppance Review by: Ty

To purchase the poster click here

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)- *

Directed By: Lance Mungia

Starring: Edward Furlong, Tara Reid, David Boreanaz, Macy Gray, Danny Trejo, and Dennis Hopper










The Crow: Wicked Prayer is another weak sequel to "The Crow" series. They should've stopped while they were ahead. (Meaning the First One).

The plot this time around involves Jimmy (Furlong) who gets murdered by Luc Crash (David Boreanaz) and Lola Byrne (Reid) (Get it? "Crash and Byrne"! Wow, the script was very prophetic with the end result...) and is resurrected to be "The Crow". He wants revenge. Does he succeed?



The movie is rife with silly dialogue and terrible casting. Who in their right mind thought Dennis Hopper could be a gangsta who spouts lines like: "He'll be your homey now and forever more!"? There's no way that could be taken seriously. Furlong looks like he's trapped in the headlights and there's no way out.



Boreanaz goes way over the top. When his voice starts to deepen for no reason when he says dialogue like: "Sorry folks, I'd slit all your throats, but I gotta get to the burial grounds..." you know something's wrong. Reid was trying, even straining to make her character work. The movie has endlessly quotable lines for the wrong reasons. The action scenes are poorly edited also. They couldn't get that one right either?

In the end: The Crow: Wicked Prayer should be avoided like the plague it is.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty

Chasing Ghosts (2005)

Chasing Ghosts (2005)- * * *

Directed By: Kyle Dean Jackson

Starring: Michael Madsem, Danny Trejo, Michael Rooker, Gary Busey, Shannon Sossamon, and Meat Loaf









Chasing Ghosts was a pretty good mystery. Michael Madsen stars as Detective Harrison, who is about to retire. He only has one more case to solve: Who is killing the crime lords around NYC?

The best parts of the movie are the confrontations with Madsen and Gary Busey, and the twists near the end. Meat Loaf, Michael Rooker and Danny Trejo are underused. The style of the film also works. The cinematography looks great but there are a little too many quick cuts. It was shot In L.A. but the director did a good job hiding it.



It's worth seeing for an excellent Michael Madsen performance and the presence of the eclectic cast.