Starring: John Heard, Levon Helm, John Rhys-Davies and Stephen McHattie
Charlie Granger (Heard) is a good-natured pot dealer who wants do nothing more than play his harmonica, play some b-ball with his buddy Brett Monroe (McHattie of One Man Out fame) and wear his cool Indiana Jones-style hat. When evil gangster Leo Ellis (Moses Znaimer) forces Charlie to go to Spain and Morocco to take part in a 4 million dollar drug deal, Charlie has no choice but to reluctantly accept the danger. Charlie teams up with Bo (Helm) and attempts to get the stash back to the U.S. Will he succeed? John Heard puts in his usual solid performance. McHattie as the mustachioed photographer friend of Charlie's is totally different from his role in One Man Out. In Best Revenge, he looks less like Peter Weller than he does in 'Out. One of the better aspects of 'Revenge is its attention to detail. It shows what a huge ordeal it would be to get drugs from overseas into the U.S. Normally those people aren't the good guys, but Heard is likable. Additionally, there is some noteworthy location shooting and the cinematography shows the Morocco and Spain exteriors in a picturesque manner. The music is by Keith Emerson and in true 80s fashion, it has its own title song, sung by Amanda Hayley. One of the main problems of 'Revenge is its title. It is not "Revenge-y" enough. There is actually very little revenge being taken. It sets the viewer up for something that doesn't come. Simply a different title would have solved this problem. Fans of John Heard will appreciate Best Revenge. Maybe the reason why this movie is so under the radar is that fact that it is decent but not entirely satisfying.
Starring: Ted Shackelford, Nancy Allen, Martin Landau, Sal Landi, Lotis Key, Stacy Adams, Michele Little, and Gina Gershon
Boone (Shackelford) is a smuggler of counterfeit perfume and an international adventurer. When a TV news reporter, Jillian Grey (Allen) starts following a story about girls abducted from L.A. and put into white slavery camps, it leads her to the diabolical mastermind Geoffrey Cicero (Landau). Grey and her young daughter are then kidnapped. Meanwhile, three friends, K.C. (Gershon), Tina (Adams) and Lee (Little) are expecting a modeling agent to meet with them. It turns out it’s two of Cicero’s top goons, Sonya (Key) and Gil (Landi). The three girls are also kidnapped. When the girls, Jillian, and Boone all end up crossing paths, they make an unlikely force and they all fight to escape the clutches of Cicero and his minions. Will they get SWEET REVENGE?
While mostly a TV actor, Sweet Revenge seems to be the only starring film role of one Theodore T. Shackelford III, who modestly just goes by “Ted”. While he’s supposed to be an Indiana Jones-type hero, his smug, glib one-liners (which were perfect for the 80’s, let’s not forget) do tend to undercut the audience’s faith in him as a powerful central hero. He’s more of a jokester, a goofball. But the movie as a whole has a cartoonish, comic-booky vibe, where opponents are easily knocked over by the slightest touch, and muzzle flashes look painted-on. Add some triumphant, A-Team-style music over it all, and you have some dumb, but not offensively bad, video store shelf-filler that only could have existed in the 80’s.
Not to be confused with Best Revenge (1984), One Man Out (1989), Cocaine Wars (1985), or a myriad other items of this type, you really have to be a fan of rediscovering movies otherwise left languishing on video store shelves to appreciate Sweet Revenge. It has a lot of the hallmarks we look for when it comes to 80’s action: the disco scene, at least one pinball machine, exploding huts, and an exploding helicopter. But the movie it resembles most is Catch the Heat (1987). The goofy tone is similar, the climax is almost exactly the same, and they each got one major star: Catch the Heat got Rod Steiger, this has Martin Landau.
It must have been fun for Nancy Allen and Gina Gershon to run around the Philippines shooting machine guns and such. When we’re first introduced to Allen’s character, it seems she’s going to be another in a long line of female reporters who don’t do much. Thankfully, she basically becomes a gun-toting hero, along with her unlikely compatriots, some L.A. girls and Ted Shackelford. Strangely, that description makes the movie sound better than it really is. But the movie was kind of ahead of its time with its look at human trafficking, and Martin Landau as Cicero has his own logo. If you live in a palace surrounded by goons, and you have flags bearing your own personal emblem hanging all over the place, you might as well have a neon sign reading “BADDIE!” also outside your house. But Cicero makes no bones about the fact that he’s evil. He sometimes comes out of his house, says nothing, then turns right around and goes back in. Such are his powers of intimidation.
Released on VHS by Media, Sweet Revenge is a lightweight offering in just about every sense of the word. The 79 minute running time reinforces that, and is certainly welcome. While not a must-buy, you could do a lot worse than Sweet Revenge.
Starring: Christopher Stone, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, Dennis Redfield, Andy Wood, and Gerrit Graham
"They fought for their country. Now, They're fighting for their friends."
Starting off in the jungles of
Vietnam, we are introduced to a “band of brothers” consisting of Bill
Eckert (Stone), Garrett (LHJ), Ray (Graham), Joe (Redfield), and Woody
(Wood). After some shooting and explosions confirming that these guys
are an elite fighting unit, the text on the screen then informs us:
ATLANTA NOW. It seems the town of South Point, Georgia is now a
depressing slum. Rival gangs control the town and keep it in a grip of
fear. They shake down what local businesses are left for protection
money. The gangs The Turks and The Scorpions are bad, but for pure evil,
no one beats Roy Boy Jagger and The Rollers. (It has yet to be verified
if they opened for John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band on one of
their tours).
When, in the midst of an armed robbery, said
Rollers kill Joe, Bill rallies
the old unit back together to clean up the streets of South Point. They
use their military techniques and camaraderie to not just expel the
gangs, but bring hope back to the community. By that, they obviously
mean teaching elderly men and confused waitresses martial arts. Will
these heroes defeat Roy Boy and get revenge for their fallen comrade?
The
Annihilators (great title) is pure 80’s fun from start to finish. It is
enjoyable the whole time - this is the type of movie that’s best
experienced with a group of friends who are in a good mood. (If you’re
not, it will put you in one). The movie seems to be attempting a
marriage of two successful action movie sub-genres: the Vietnam
shoot-em-up and the urban revenge thriller. The results are humorous.
The whole “reunite the old Vietnam war crew to get revenge” was seen in
the also-hilarious Kill Squad(1982). What is it about this plot that allows
for such laughs? The movie
tends toward optimism - only in the 80’s could the message of “believe
in your dreams” be tied so closely with flamethrowers and shooting
people in the face without a hint of irony. You gotta love it.
Gerrit
Graham plays the comic relief jokester, LHJ, in a pretty early role,
gets the best Karate moves in the film, along with a memorable
neck-snap. Naturally, the heroes are fighting a panoply of middle-aged
punks. In the 80’s, it seemed to become a ne’er-do-well later in life
was more accepted. The whole “store owners fighting back” angle was a
lot of fun and had a Bums (1993) feel. Paul Koslo as Roy Boy is very
impressive. He’s a sort of demented Patrick Swayze that goes far off the
rails. His performance is inspired and worth seeing.
On the
technical side, the opening credits all have a gunshot noise that gets
you into the spirit quickly, the music is great in its own way, and the
newspaper reads “Vigilantes In South
Point”. The box art is very cool, if not entirely representative of the
movie itself. There’s no “Annihilator” in the movie that wears a Jason
mask, and they mistakenly call the antagonist Roy Boy Jessup. Apparently
both the artist and the writer were allowed to just make stuff up. Keep
in mind this is a New World tape (Corman for those who don’t know).
Overwhelming silliness ensues - in the best possible way - when you put on The Annihilators. Recommended.
Rolf (Marsina) is a fairly troubled loner working as an airplane courier in (what we think is) Tunisia.
He’s trying to forge a relationship with Joanna (Nichols) but things
are always going between smooth and rocky. When gangsters want him to
carry a shipment of drugs, he is conflicted, because his mother died of a
drug overdose. The gangsters beat him up and assault Joanna. Rolf then
has no choice but to go into the jungle and get revenge. Rest assured,
huts will explode and guns will go “pew pew”! Will Rolf come out
victorious?
If you’re going to name a movie after a man’s name,
Rolf is one of the better names you can name it. With its silly dubbing,
absurd situations, good pace and killer music (by Fabio Frizzi - the
Modern Talking-like title song is sung by one Chris J. King), Rolf comes
out a winner. For example, after he is attacked by
the gangsters, Rolf summons the power of worms and leeches to heal him.
Presumably he has Dr. Doolittle-like powers? And the main bad guy is so
evil he literally uses children for target practice. When Rolf’s hands
are injured, it recalls not just fellow Italian production Django (1966), but
also none other than Jesus himself. Far from a dude with a “shirtless
shirt” and high pants, the filmmakers secretly tried to make Rolf a new
hero for our times.
Try to imagine a crazy Italian cross between
Cartel (1990), Heated Vengeance (1985) and Best Revenge (1982), but better. And the main
song repeats over and over again as in Laser Mission (1989) and White Fire (1984).
Luckily it is catchy and enjoyable. We were lucky to see this movie, as
it doesn’t seem to have gotten a wide release, but the version on the
“Mercs” DVD box set leaves a LOT to be desired. It looks like a simple
dub directly from an old VHS - and the VHS has tracking problems! There
are even glitches burned into
the DVD. Wasn’t anyone monitoring this stuff? Again, we were lucky to
see it, but Rolf deserves better.
Tony Marsina really Rolfs it up in this simple, but crazy and down-and-dirty revenge thriller. We recommend it.
Starring: Richard Harrison, Ann Milhench, Catherine Miles, Willie Williams, Jim Gaines and Mike Monty
Mark Collins (Harrison) is a Vietnam vet whose daughter, Sarah (Miles), and her fiance, are both shot dead by thugs. Taking matters into his own hands, he searches all over the Philippines to find and execute the culprits. But while he was carrying out his revenge missions, he was being watched by two mysterious figures, Peter (Gaines) and Bill (Monty). They like his style so much, they hire him to kill some more criminals. They even team him up with a former mob hitwoman named Liza (Milhench). You’d think Collins would be in hog heaven, now being paid to do what he loves best. But all is not as it seems, and after some twists and turns, we truly see who has to pay up on the BLOOD DEBTS...
This movie kicks off with what might be one of the best openings ever. We certainly won’t spoil it for you, but it sets the scene perfectly. But then, why wouldn’t it - this is a gem from fan-favorite director Teddy Page, a man known for killer openings. He directed Phantom Soldiers (1987) after all. But here he reunites with his Fireback (1983) stars Harrison and Milhench and the results are silly fun at its best. His use of slow motion, seemingly one of his trademarks, is on full display here.
Funny dubbing, classic clothing, funky music, and that timeless Filipino sense of incoherence reign, and these are all the things that make a great time in front of the old VCR. The movie is clearly inspired by Death Wish (1974) but it takes the formula in some interesting directions. Plus, Harrison’s wardrobe, the staple of which seems to be “track suit with no shirt”, can best be described as the “Casual Bronson”. After all, you want to be flexible and comfortable if you’re tracking down and killing large numbers of people. Harrison is credited with being a co-writer of the movie, I wonder if any of that was in the script? And did we mention the dubbing?
It was nice seeing Harrison in a non-ninja role, and there’s even a scene at a liquor store called “Harrison house of wine”. Is that just a coincidence? His foil, Ann Milhench, is beautiful as Liza, pronounced “Leeza”, apparently pre-dating the meteoric rise of talk show host Leeza Gibbons. Milhench has only been in six movies, and we’ve seen four of them (this and the aforementioned Fireback, plus Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985) and the awful Sloane (1986). ) 1985 was a great year for her, as she did half her career in that golden year. It should also be mentioned that Willie Williams has a small role as Julius, Collins’ informant and confidante.
You’ve just got to love Continental Video for releasing this. Just for the two wacky on-screen title cards seen in the movie, it’s worth seeing. For the sillier side of the revenge drama, do check out Blood Debts.
Marked For Death (1990)- * * *1\2
Directed by: Dwight H. Little
Starring: Steven Seagal, Basil Wallace, Tom Wright, Joanna Pacula, and Keith David
John Hatcher (Seagal) is a retired DEA agent and now police
“troubleshooter” who doesn’t like the fact that a ruthless Jamaican gang is now
selling drugs to children at the local schools and getting into violent turf
wars. (We’re helpfully informed that these gangs are called “posses”). Deciding
to clean up the streets, he teams up with old buddy Max (David) and a Jamaican
cop named Charles (Wright). But a psychotic, violent, pure evil baddie named
Screwface (Wallace) is the head of the snake, as it were. It seems that these
Jamaicans are not irie. Not irie at all. When members of Screwface’s gang –
sorry, posse – target Hatcher’s
sister and her young daughter, Hatcher gets really mad and decides to eliminate
the posse for good. He even gets to travel to Jamaica, which seems like a
delightful perk during your vengeance-obsessed rampage. Will Hatcher and the
gang get Screwface…or will the fact that he’s MARKED FOR DEATH get in his way?
Find out today!
Ah, to go back to those golden years when action movies were
violent, bone-crunching affairs that delivered the goods with a nice, simple
revenge plot, some nudity, a few car chases, shootouts, Martial Arts scenes,
and a minimum of dilly-dallying; when Seagal movies had quality, the good guys
were good and the bad guys were evil. This is exactly what Marked For Death
encompasses, and we couldn’t be happier about it. The initial Seagal
“three-word title” era was clearly the best time in his career, and here is a
prime example from those glory years. It seems he actually cares, and all he
wants to do is take drugs off the streets – WAY off. If that means some baddies
have a rough time of it, so be it. Comes with the territory.
Because Seagal was embraced by Hollywood at the time, it has
good production values and is shot well. Perhaps one of the all-time best
Seagal action sequences is in Marked For Death – the car chase/mall fight. It’s
truly excellent and Seagal at his best. Teaming him up with Keith David so they
can go bust some heads was the right choice and pays off well. Opposite them is
a tour-de-force performance by Basil Wallace as Screwface – Wallace goes “all
in” as a truly scary and unhinged bad guy. Action movies need a bad baddie, as
we always say, and here you get a doozy. It would have been nice to see more of
Joanna Pacula, but something had to give, because this movie really moves –
great pacing is another plus here. There’s really not much fat to speak of.
That would come in later Seagal vehicles.
Right before Hatcher and Max go on their final “revenge
vacation” to Jamaica, there’s a nice “making the weapons” montage that we
always love to see. These guys don’t do off-the-rack bullets. They take the
time to craft their own. If Seagal’s career as a Lawman ever ends (we hope it
doesn’t), he could always move back to Brooklyn – where he was in Out For Justice – and sell artisanal ammunition. That even has a nice ring to it. And,
in what is perhaps the opposite of Burt Reynolds in Malone (1987), everybody already
knows Hatcher. From the local hoodlums to the police higher-ups, it seems
everybody is always saying something like, “oh, it’s you, Hatcher” – everyone
in Chicago has had prior experience with the guy. Someone else that knows
Hatcher (well, Seagal, really)? Jimmy Cliff. Seagal insisted he perform in the
movie, and he even does so with the musical backing of Seagal himself. He also co-wrote
the song “John Crow”, which makes sense as it directly mentions the name
Screwface in the lyrics. You never see movies nowadays that reference the
characters in song. It’s really a shame we’ve lost that.
Marked For Death represents the middle of an action-movie
trifecta for director Dwight Little. Previous to this, he directed Getting Even (1986) of “Kenderson!!!!” fame, and after it he came up with another winner –
Rapid Fire (1992). Clearly the guy knows his stuff, which would explain why
Marked For Death delivers the goods. Too bad he had to go into TV work because
Hollywood sucks so much now. He should have continued making enjoyable action
movies like the three mentioned above – imagine what he could have done had he
continued on that path? Well, let’s be thankful for what we’ve got.
Perhaps not wanting to seem insensitive to the Jamaican
community, there is a credit at the end of themovie that informs us that – and I’m paraphrasing here – “bad Jamaicans”
represent less than one percent of the total Jamaican population in the U.S.,
and that the evils of posses were blown out of proportion for entertainment
purposes only. I’m sure immigrant communities that saw Marked For Death and
then waited until the end of the end
credits appreciated this. In other words, relax, people, Screwface isn’t going
to be coming to a community near you. However, due to the popularity of
then-current In Living Color sketch “Hey Mon!” and its hardworking ethos, this may
have been rendered unnecessary. But we digress. Sometimes pretty far.
Marked For Death is prime early-90’s video store action,
prime Seagal, and a darn fine time in front of your TV screen. Crack open a
cold one and enjoy.
Starring: Daniel Bernhardt, Miles O'Keefe, Jonathan Lutz, and Beverly Johnson
“The Griffin you knew is dead.” - Griffin
All Allen Griffin (Bernhardt) wants to do is play Mouse Trap with his Asian daughter on her birthday. Unfortunately, the Yakuza ruins his plans and kidnaps her. So Griffin dons his revenge togs and goes on a no-holds-barred mission to save his beloved daughter before it’s too late. Complicating his quest is the presence of a man known only as The Specialist (O’Keeffe), a mercenary of some sort and a shadowy figure from Griffin’s past. Also a detective, Emory (Lutz) has teamed up with some sort of Naval intelligence officer, Wilson (Johnson), and they are hot on Griffin’s trail and they may curtail his mission before he gets a chance to complete it. Of course, Griffin is an ex-Navy SEAL and knows how to handle himself in a combat situation - but will he make it out alive?
It may start off like The Specialist (1994) (even O’Keeffe’s character is named ‘The Specialist’), and carry on like a cross between Commando (1985) and Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991), but believe you-me, this movie is 100% Bernhardt. It truly is his best work - Bernhardt at his best, as you’ve always wanted to see him. Dressed in a SWAT-style flak vest with a black duster coat, Griffin is almost Punisher-like as he blows away the baddies with no mercy. Sure, many characters over the years open their hidden gun stash and put on their black revenge outfit towards the end of the movie, but Griffin does it in the first third, and keeps it on. Plus, he keeps his cache of weaponry at work, not at home. We see - in great detail - how much he loves his guns. Plus he can knock down an iron gate with a dirtbike.
Sure, his resemblance to Van Damme is uncanny, hence why we call him “Van Daniel”. But he really comes into his own here. Plus, he’s not alone in the lookalike department. Johnson resembles Pam Grier, Lutz resembles Fred Dryer, and some other guy resembles Lou Diamond Phillips. Too bad they all couldn’t be together, but this is a close-enough approximation of what would have happened. Even the production company, FM, is remarkably close to action stalwarts PM. But, honestly, except for O’Keeffe and Bernhardt, the cast isn’t what matters. It’s the action, and they don’t skimp on that.
Many cliches we know and love are here - yelling while shooting a machine gun, the baddie says “no more mistakes” to his goons, and the phrase “we’ve got company!” is also uttered. The shootout in the strip club is probably the centerpiece of the film, and the “Direct to Video John Woo on a budget” vibe indeed wins over the audience. However, at times, the whole outing, underscored by this scene, feels like a parody of action films. It probably isn’t - at least we HOPE it isn’t - but it was the late 90’s, after all (even though visually it looks like it was the early 90’s), and irony was starting to creep in and ruin things. It is unlikely that director Worth would do this, as he’s known for being the director of Kickboxer (1989) - and, at least on our site, known for Lady Dragon (1992) and Lady Dragon 2 (1993), along with Soldier’s Revenge (1986) and Chain of Command (1994). But he does allow some wacky things to go on in the cinematography department, notably some crazy, headache-inducing swirling camerawork that seems pretty unnecessary.
True Vengeance does indeed deliver the action goods in true DTV 90’s style. We may have a few minor quibbles with it, but nothing is perfect. It’s nothing a few wacky screams from Daniel Bernhardt and a copious amount of gun-shooting can’t solve. If you can find it, go back to the glory days - you’ll TRUE-ly enjoy the experience.
Starring: Larry Wilcox, Robin Eisenman, Sam Hennings, Al Mancini, Tetchie Agbayani, Jack S. Daniels, Henry Strzalkowski, and Willie Williams
“Web” Webster (Wilcox) is a mustachioed American gentleman who travels to – you guessed it – Manila to try to find his missing brother. Evidently, a mob boss named Harry Costelo (Mancini) doesn’t appreciate all of Web’s poking around his turf, so he makes Web’s life harder while he’s there. Harry is a heroin runner and Web’s brother Tony (Hennings) is somehow involved. Web has help in his quest in the form of Susie (Eisenman), but what’s his true relationship to the other woman in his life, Maria (Agbayani)? Will Web be able to weave his way out of the sticky situation he’s found himself in? What will be the final result of MISSION MANILA?
Unfortunately, Mission Manila, despite all of the promise inherent in the presence of Larry Wilcox, is weak. Its dearth of action reminded us of other nigh-on actionless movies such as Best Revenge (1984) and Sweet Revenge (1987). Just try to imagine Cocaine Wars (1985) without the majesty of John Schneider, and that’s pretty much what we’ve got here. Director Mackenzie even worked with Schneider much later in his career with a film called Doonby (2013), so he must have a type. Mackenzie also directed the Asher Brauner vehicle Merchants of War (1989), and astute viewers will note some similarities between that and Mission Manila, if they care to put in the effort to do so. Interestingly, the aforementioned two movies - plus ‘Manila - are the only ones Mackenzie has directed in his career.
‘Manila had all the ingredients for a winner: it was shot in the Philippines, it featured regulars of the action movies shot there such as Willie Williams, Henry Strzalkowski, and a rare appearance from the great Jack S. Daniels, a simple plot that could have allowed for a lot of action, and Larry Wilcox unmoored from the ball and chain that was Erik Estrada.
What we do get is a silly alley fight that lasts a few seconds, a brief shootout, the world’s stupidest (and most laugh-inducing) neck snap, and maybe a blow-up at the end. What about the other 90 minutes? Larry Wilcox’s big weapon (as featured in the trailer, leading us to believe he will be using it a lot, which he doesn’t) is a slingshot. Like some overgrown Dennis the Menace, Larry Wilcox has blonde hair and a slingshot. All of this could have been so easy to fix, it’s criminal. Wilcox and Eisenman should have rampaged all through Manila, shooting, beating up, and rocket launcher-ing many baddies. Would that have been so hard? Instead, Mancini insists on calling everyone a “ratbag” and Eisenman gets tied to train tracks like in the days of yore. Yawn.
While it does have some interesting cinematography at times, that wouldn’t have caused anyone to pick Mission Manila off the shelf of their local video store back in the good old days. With all the choices we as patrons had at our fingertips, it’s hard to imagine anyone purposefully choosing Mission Manila. What ‘Manila really seems to be is a bellwether – a sign that the golden age of the 80’s was gone and the 90’s were here. In the very near future, action movies – in the Philippines and elsewhere – would become watered down.
Also Larry Wilcox goes to a bar called The Hobbit House with an all-midget staff. This must have been a real place, because a diminutive bartender named Goliath is credited as himself. So maybe this movie has some bright points after all.
Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty
Starring: Sho Koisugi, James Booth, Donna Kei Benz, Kane Kosugi, Shane Kosugi, and Norman Burton
Pray for Death is awesome! It's certainly the best Sho movie we've seen to date.
Herein, the Sho-master plays Akira Saito, a man who has a nice, calm life in Japan working as an executive for Yokohama foods. He has a pretty wife, Aiko (Benz) and two cute kids, Takeshi and Tomoya (Shane and Kane, regulars in their dad's movies). Yep, the dude has a pretty sweet setup. Apparently bored by all the serenity, Aiko, whose father was American, convinces Akira to move to the U.S. Once there, they begin refurbishing an old, run-down eatery called the Sabine Street Restaurant. They later rename it Aiko's. They get the property from a kindly elderly man, Sam Green (Parley Baer). Even though the newly-transplanted Japanese family in the U.S. throws themselves into turning the restaurant around, a dark secret lurks...
It seems the local gangsters have been using an all-but-abandoned back room at the Sabine Street Restaurant as a drop off and pick up for various illegal goods. When the highly valuable Van Atta necklace goes missing, naturally these dum-dum gangsters think it is the new immigrant in town, Akira. So they start making his life a living hell, tormenting him in many ways. It eventually escalates to the point when half the family is in the hospital. The ringleader of all this awfulness happening to the Saito family is one Limehouse Willie (Booth). While his name seems more suited to hobo boxing matches in the railyards, the diabolical man uses every possible underhanded tactic at his disposal to try to eliminate Saito. He just didn't reckon with one thing - Saito is a secret Ninja! So when Aiko takes a turn for the worse, the mild-mannered man during the day goes on a no-holds-barred Ninja revenge mission against the evil bastards that have ruined his life! Radical!
Sporting a fast pace, a high-quality look, top-notch action sequences (the boat scene is a standout), and great music, including the Pat Benatar-like theme song "Back to the Shadows" by Peggy Abernathy, Pray for Death doesn't disappoint. Director Gordon Hessler, a well-known drive-in guy, pulls all the correct elements together in just the right mix. He downplays the minor negatives, such as the fact that Sho's accent is so strong it's basically impossible to tell what he's saying, and accentuates the strengths, such as the Ninja-based action sequences and revenge plot. It truly is a recipe for success more directors would be wise to follow.
Of course, a great action movie needs a super-evil bad guy, and James Booth as Limehouse Willie fills the bill in spades. Yes, his name is silly, but that's just a distraction, as you will cheer for the moment when Sho exacts his revenge on one of the ultimate jerks in 80's filmdom. Add to that the elements of corrupt (and not-so-corrupt) cops involved in this gangster/ninja war, and the subplots of the temple setting where we learn why Akira knows what he knows. In the good guy department, Parley Baer does a good job as the kindly, sympathetic Sam Green, while Kane and Shane do some pint-sized karate moves of their own (and they have the best bike since Pee Wee Herman). They also like to watch something called "The Black Ninja" on TV.
This is an actual NINJA MOVIE, unlike the trowel-jobs of Godfrey Ho. This is a coherent, good production. Featuring yet another excellent opening credit sequence featuring Sho, and produced by TransWorld entertainment (the big-box VHS was released on USA video, how appropriate to the storyline), please don't hesitate to check out this "Sho"-stopper.
Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Alexio, Rochelle Ashana, Dennis Chan, and Michel Quissi
Eric Sloane (Alexio) is a champion kickboxer in the United States, so, seeking new triumphs in the ring, he travels to Thailand. With his brother/ringman Kurt (Van Damme) by his side, he feels he cannot lose. That is, until he faces off against the most fearsome fighter in Thailand, if not the world: the dreaded Tong Po (“himself”...actually Qissi). Despite Kurt warning him to not get in the ring with him, Eric pridefully ignores his brother and fights Tong Po. The evil Po mercilessly beats Eric so badly he paralyzes him for life. Seeking revenge for his brother’s crippling, Kurt sets out to learn Muay Thai and beat Tong Po in the ring. No school will accept him, so, working on a tip from ex-Special Forces Vietnam vet Winston (Anderson), Kurt goes into the Thai countryside to receive lessons from master Xian Chow (Chan). Chow puts him through his paces, but Kurt ends up falling in love with Mylee (Ashana) in the meantime. Gangster Freddy Li (Lee) has bet millions on the upcoming fight between Kurt and Po. After Tong Po assaults Mylee, Kurt wants revenge, so with all the pressure building, will Kurt defeat Tong Po?
Here’s another Van Damme classic from the golden year of 1989. Most people, even if they’re not action fans, are at least aware of Kickboxer. Even a David Letterman “Top Ten List” of the day featured the topic “top ten things overheard while waiting in line for Kickboxer”. Underground fighting movies had hit the mainstream and had their brief moment in the spotlight. And Van Damme was spearheading the trend, thereby becoming one of the faces of the action movie movement of the late 80’s/early 90’s. While Kickboxer falls squarely in the middle in terms of the quality of his Punchfighting era (the best being Bloodsport, 1988 and the weakest being The Quest, 1996 - as always it’s open for debate but that’s our opinion), it has a “much imitated, never equaled” kind of feel to it and even though it’s a little on the long side, it never really gets boring.
It may be a bit of a stretch to believe Alexio and Van Damme are brothers, but, that aside, in the movie, Eric disregards Kurt’s advice to not fight Tong Po, thus reinforcing the old saying “always listen to your Van Damme”. But the brothers in Bangkok do share a genetic sense for fashion, as stonewashed denim vests and half-shirts seem to be the order of the day. But Van Damme steals the show in the wardrobe department when he unleashes what can only be described as a tanktop with suspenders for straps. And for no explained reason, for the final face-off with Tong Po, they are BOTH wearing silly loincloths that leave criminally little to the imagination. How did they both know to wear a freakin’ loincloth to this particular battle? Presumably they didn’t talk beforehand and arrange it - it’s surprising they both weren’t embarrassed, like two women who wear the same outfit to a party.
There are some excellent and picturesque Thai locations, there’s a great song at every turn which smartly keeps the energy going (most of which are by AOR artist Stan Bush), and at one point one character says to Van Damme, “I’m not signing your death warrant”. Seeing as the movie of that name came out the next year, could this line be an inspiration? Also in 1990 came a similarly-themed movie to Kickboxer, The King of the Kickboxers (1990), where Keith Cooke takes over the rural Thai trainer role. But one thing that movie does not have, nor any of the myriad “training sequence” movies that followed in its wake has, is one very important element: the “Van Damme” dance. Yes, part of Kurt’s training is to go to a roadside cafe, get drunk, then bust a move with some local ladies. The movie pretty much stops - as it should - so we can see Van Damme get funky on the dance floor. Not since Breakin’ (1984) where he claps along to the beat in his wrestling singlet have we seen his expertise with rhythm. Definitely a movie - nay - a career highlight for JCVD. He should have danced more in his movies.
One other note: like how in Best of the Best 2 (1990), the name “Brakus” is constantly and continuously said throughout the movie, here the name “Tong Po” is the constantly-said name. These writers were sure proud of their bad-guy names. While the popularity of this movie led to the inevitable flood of sequels (where Sasha Mitchell replaces Van Damme), this original is truly a “video store classic” and a worthy movie in its own right.
Finally in civilian life after a lifetime in the military, vet John Bradley (Ferrigno) is having a hard time adjusting after leaving the Special Forces. He feels reconnecting with his daughter and his granddaughter would do him a world of good towards that end, so he flies from New York to the UK to be with them.
Unfortunately, Bradley was in the wrong place at the wrong time, as he inadvertently witnesses some of the bad dealings of uber-baddie Razor (Anderson) and his drug gang. In order to get to him, Razor sadistically goes after certain members of the Bradley family in some truly horrible ways (we won’t give anything away).
Now on a no-holds-barred mission of revenge, John Bradley reverts to his old ways – fighting is the only thing he knows. Thankfully, he knows it well and he’s using his “particular set of skills” to take out the trash of London’s underworld. With the police and military after him as well as the gangster baddies, will John Bradley be able to deliver INSTANT DEATH?
Thank goodness for Taken (2008). Not only is it a fantastic movie in its own right, it single-handedly made it acceptable for aging stars to return to – or join for the first time - the action fray. The term “GeriAction” seems to have been coined shortly after the release of The Expendables (2010), and everyone from Liam Neeson to Clint Eastwood to Sean Penn have been showing young whippersnappers that with age comes experience…fighting experience!
With that in mind, it was only a matter of time before Lou Ferrigno became involved. Instant Death has a lot going for it: a simple and effective revenge plot that unfolds quickly over its 80-minute running time, Lou puts on a revenge outfit and proceeds to decimate the entire baddie population, and Razor is a really bad baddie. All the ingredients are there. But why – why – must they use so much CGI?
If they were going for a gritty 80’s vibe, why not use squibs, practical effects, and real fire? That would have been so much cooler! Correct us if we’re wrong, but did we see a CGI train? The movie already has a low-budget, down n’ dirty look (which is completely fine by us and not at all a criticism), but the CGI effects were a wet blanket for us. Not so much that we didn’t enjoy the movie on the whole, but we couldn’t help but think it would have been more satisfying for the viewers without it.
Much like how Robert Rusler saved Air Strike (2002), Lou Ferrigno does the same thing here. (That must be why you read this site; you’re not going to see a sentence like that anywhere else). Sure, the fight choreography came off as a little stiff at times, but undoubtedly this is a career-best performance from Lou. He must have been thrilled to get the call to be in this movie, and he really gives it his all. It was a joy to watch his lumbering, Schwarzenegger-esque fighting and line deliveries.
Let’s face it, the idea of Lou Ferrigno in a revenge movie against London gangsters is pure gold. We’re super happy this was made.
Despite our anti-CGI stance, we applaud director Paiaya and the rest of the cast and crew for carrying this movie off. You could tell they were striving for something good and Instant Death overall is a satisfying watch.
Starring: John De Hart, Wings Hauser, Pamela Jean Bryant, and William Smith
AKA: Road To Revenge
“Do the Shimmy Slide.” – John De Hart
Guh? Buh? Wuh? It’s hard to put into actual words the magic and majesty of “Geteven”. Interestingly, it’s all one word, in quotes. We would be left speechless, but we’re here to provide a review, so we will, to the best of our ability. Movies like this are rare gems, diamonds in the rough of life that defy reviews. But we’ll give it the old college try. “Geteven” has that silly, wacky, absurd, amateurish feel where nothing is coherent. And thank goodness for that! It’s all too rare, especially in today’s world of boring, polished product. Movies like “Geteven” are why nostalgia for the video store era is at an all-time high. It produced moments in time like this that will never be duplicated or equaled.
Of course, the enjoyment is all because of one man, the great John De Hart. Out of seemingly nowhere, he wrote, directed in starred in this movie, a great showcase for his talents. If “Geteven” or, as it’s also known, Road To Revenge, is to be believed, not only can he do all those things, but he is also a master joke teller, reciter of Shakespeare, and, in the showstopper of the film, a singer and dancer. He also spends plenty of screen time making sweet, sweet love to Pamela Bryant, who presumably was on board with this and knew what she was getting into. Is there anything he can’t do?
De Hart is like a more stiff and wooden Chris Mitchum. That’s a compliment. The facial expressions he makes while singing his signature tune, “The Shimmy Slide”, are priceless, and look like he’s forced to Shimmy Slide at gunpoint by assailants that have kidnapped his family and forced him to perform for their own amusement. He doesn’t really project when he speaks, but he sure does when he sings. The icing on the cake is his awesome wardrobe, with a new, stunning shirt in every scene. The guy is so cool, he even gets married in early-90’s casualwear.
While “Geteven” could be reasonably compared to Miami Connection(1987), Deadly Prey (1987), Samurai Cop (1989), Warrior of Justice (1995), and Night of the Kickfighters (1988), in truth, it’s very much like the productions of early PM. The presences of Wings Hauser and William Smith would reinforce this. As would the fact that De Hart dons a black tanktop as his “Revenge Outfit”, just like Lawrence Hilton Jacobs did before him. Even though the production is wonderfully, unashamedly threadbare, Wings seems to give his all, and Smith does what Smith does. In the movie, things just randomly happen, with weird cuts and no explanations. And there’s line dancing. It all just adds to the fun.
Featuring yet another De Hart musical composition, “I’ll Be With You”, “Geteven” is just more proof that the video store era produced inimitable works of bizarre creative art that should be treasured because they won’t ever be repeated. Like a shooting star that blazes across the sky briefly but beautifully, the works of Matt Hannon, Jay Roberts Jr., Andy Bauman and, of course, John De Hart, should be admired, as we are lucky to get a chance to see them.
Starring: Mark Gregory, Raimund Harmstorf, and Bo Svenson
Yavapai County, Arizona, is a dusty ol’ hamlet inhabited by a lot of Native Americans. A Police Deputy named Rusty (Harmstorf) is an angry, corrupt racist who is working with drug-dealing biker gangs when he’s not verbally abusing the local Indian population. So he really doesn’t approve when Thunder (Gregory), a big, muscular, and incorruptible local Indian joins the police force. Now caught between Thunder and Sheriff Roger (Svenson), Rusty plants some drugs in Thunder’s locker at the police station. Thunder then undergoes some brutal hardships at the local prison, biding his time until he can get out and take revenge on those who wronged him. Rusty and his cronies better prepare for the oncoming THUNDER STORM!
In the grand tradition of “persecuted Indians on the run but with some revenge” movies such as Johnny Firecloud (1975) and Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) comes Thunder Warrior 2 - or, to make things a bit more simple, just take First Blood (1982) and make Rambo an Indian. The fact that there are THREE Thunder Warrior movies is a testament to the video store era, when stores clamored for product to fill its shelves, and Italian companies (and so many others) were more than happy to oblige. Shot in the American west by a team of Italians, led by Fabrizio DeAngelis (under his normal pseudonym Larry Ludman), It has that certain Italian feel we all know and love. Maybe it’s the dubbing, maybe it’s hiring Mark Gregory - Trash himself - as an American Indian, or maybe some other indefinable quality, but a work like Thunder Warrior 2 could only have come from those mad Italian geniuses.
They get very impressive scenery on film, maybe it’s the outsider’s view of America. We can’t be sure it’s an in-joke, but at one point a character says to Thunder, “This ain’t no place for trash like you!” - could that be a reference video junkies at the time (and today) are meant to recognize? Also in the noteworthy dialogue department, Rusty is blatantly called “The most corrupt in Arizona”! Well at least he isn’t trying to hide it. Raimund Harmstorf, who plays Rusty, was an actor the Italians used often when they needed a blonde, blue-eyed guy for a change. He was a shoe-in to play the evil racist. Maybe it’s his name, “Rusty”, but in this movie at least, he has a certain Chuck Norris-esque quality.
Thunder Warrior 2 has a good amount of action scenes, and most of them, including the stunts and car chases/crashes, are in slow motion. This predating Hard Target (1993) by many years. Plus who can forget the heart-stopping “Thunder on a rope” sequence? And like how many people, when they’re about to get revenge, put on a special “revenge outfit” (the best example being Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs in Quietfire), Thunder goes full-on Indian regalia before he breaks out the bow and arrow with missile-tipped arrows! Granted, they look a lot like lipstick tubes, but so what? Plus, other characters just casually call this hulking brute “Thunder”, as in, “hey Thunder, what’s goin’ on?” - his name is THUNDER, okay? THUNDER. Show the proper amount of awe.
Released by TransWorld in one of their standard big-boxes (you gotta love the original retail price of $79.95 printed on the sleeve), Thunder Warrior 2 was the middle half of a Thunder sandwich (also a great name for this movie) and we think you pretty much know what to expect.
